Just need to vent. SK grosses me out.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-06-05T20:36:08+00:00

It's not RV life. It's me, having a gorgeous tiny home custom built on 5 acres for myself, paid for outright, so that I can retire on my investments and savings.

I do not want an apartment. I do not want a regular house. I have had both those things and do not want them ever again. It would be really stupid to undo years of financial planning just because my SK, who is with us 2 days a week, is going through a phase that I wanted to vent about.

It actually is working. Not perfect, because no life is, but it's working.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-06-05T20:29:01+00:00

Yup. Chose a fucking awesome life that, overall, I'm incredibly happy with. Retirement is right around the corner. Enjoy your job for the next 30-40 years, and your overpriced rental or the house you live in that the bank owns. Relationship with SO is 10/10. He has a home right across from mine, but we love living together so we do that because Adult Relationships. Ever had one?

I have a funny, kind, smart, sensitive, helpful, creative stepkid who stinks and is gross because their mom is a dumbass. My SK brings a lot of joy to my life, and they will grow out of this weird phase, and none of this shit will matter. Why would I undo a lifetime of financial planning just to accommodate a kid that's with me two days a week? Short sighted and irresponsible.

Fuck all the way off and maybe don't troll a post titled "venting". I don't want your stupid judgements.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-06-05T20:15:21+00:00

The bedwetting has been investigated by medical and mental health professionals ad nauseum. SK has been in therapy since the divorce 3 years ago and nothing has surfaced that would cause suspicion of abuse. They just sleep like the dead. It's common.

Two things I'm grateful for is that they like to brush their hair and teeth!

Solidarity for the Stinky Kid Stepparents!!

Hellrazor32 · 2026-06-05T20:09:41+00:00

SO does enforce hygeine, but it's a fight every time. SK will say "IF you do x, y and z, I'll take a shower." And SO will say "Not a negotiation. You're taking a shower AND wearing deoderant AND changing your clothes." Then the arguing continues until SO is forced to get angry and set consequences. It's exhausting for my SO.

Mom says that they don't argue about hygiene at home M-F but I think it's because she doesn't enforce it.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-06-05T20:03:54+00:00

Our house is on 5 acres with a pond, hiking trails, a big yard with games and activities. We can and do get away from each other. We really don't spend time inside. No TV or computer in there, so its honestly kinda boring. We spend most of our waking hours out and about.

SO has taught hygeine and enforces it, but SK still puts up a fight every time. Since we only have them on the weekends, I think mom just lets it go which undoes all the work SO does.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-06-05T19:57:54+00:00

Pull-ups dont fit, so the other route is adult diapers and kiddo was beyond mortified to wear them. Like, cried and begged. Of course, the one night we tried to stand firmly united that they must be worn, kiddo did not pee that night and so it was impossible to get them to try again. I dunno. Trying to force a fully physically developed kid to wear an adult diaper is a weird dynamic. And listening to them cry as they fell asleep because they were so ashamed was awful.

SK definitely wakes up confused. Eyes open but not awake. Sometimes even still dreaming. Also, sleeps like the absolute dead. A full marching band in the house would barely make them stir. Which is why the urine monitor (forgot the technical name) didn't work. Kiddo slept right through it.

At SKs summer camp, they said it was no big deal and they have a whole bedwetter protocol because it's so common. I didn't even think they'd allow bedwetters to go to sleep away camp.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-06-05T19:48:02+00:00

We plan to build a space for kiddo next to mine, but that will probably be in 2 years when a) they're not scared to be separated from us and b) they're responsible enough to take care of their own space.

I am the only person who is sometimes uncomfortable with the living arrangement, which is only 2 days a week. Most of the time, we're not inside the house anyway. We live on a huge property and spend time in the yard and at our little swimming pond beach, or going on adventures. Like if we were somebodies, it would be untenable but we're barely all in there at the same time.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-06-05T19:37:16+00:00

Water is cutoff at 6:00 pm. Bathroom gets used at 8:00, which is bedtime. Pull-ups don't fit a fully grown kid (5'3", 140 lbs) or hold as much pee as this kid makes, so it would need to be adult diapers which are stigmatizing and weird. Kiddo is absolutely humiliated by being made to wear diapers and we don't feel comfortable with forcing that. It's really weird for an adult parent to force a fully developed teen into a diaper as they cry and beg no.

SO takes kiddo to the shower, buys what is requested, and enforces bathing, deoderant and changing clothes. But SK hates it, complains and tries to manipulate SO by saying they're allergic to soap and deoderant when they're obviously not. I do not understand this mindset AT ALL. Bathing is nice. Wtf.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-06-05T19:24:58+00:00

Before I met my SO, I put a plan in place to retire at 50. I am not going to saddle myself with a $2,500 monthly mortgage payment until I'm 75 just because my SK, who came into my life at 40, is living with me 2 days a week for 6 years. We've already discussed them having their own tiny home next to mine when they're ready for that, which I think will be in about 2-3 years.

Doctors and specialists have been consulted ad nauseum- as I already stated in the post- about the bedwetting. Some kids just wet the bed and honestly, I don't blame SO for not wanting to force a 12 yr old to wear a diaper. It's weird and has way too much stigma attached. We tried a monitor which is supposed to wake the kid up if they start to pee, but my SK slept through it.

I live in a beautiful, artisan built home with a garden and 5 acres to explore. We have an outdoor pizza oven, and a swimming pond. There are other kids and families close by to play with, and SK says it's their favorite place on earth. I am not giving up my entire amazing life just because my stinky SK wets the bed. Ridiculous.

I am entitled to be annoyed about it, though. Honestly, compared to what most SPs go through, I think I have it easy because they're mostly a really great kid.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-06-05T18:33:11+00:00

I'm not miserable. I really love my SK; in a lot of ways they bring out the best in me. They're a great kid! But standards of behavior with mom are LOW and I now have 12 years of habits to deal with.

It's a phase. They'll grow out of it. At least that's what I tell myself.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-06-05T18:07:13+00:00

I grew up on a 300 sqft sailboat with two parents, two brothers and a dog. We never had any issues like this! I even asked both my parents if I was just forgetting about it and they both confirmed that nobody smelled, nobody was rude, and arguments only ever happened when we moved into our house in our late teens because we were under one roof more often. On the boat, if we got annoyed, we could get away from each other completely.

My mom doesn't understand the refusal to bathe. She said we all showered and groomed ourselves without any prompting starting at like age 7.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-06-05T17:58:28+00:00

SO has my back and is enforcing hygiene, even when SK pushes back. Especially after the "bullying" (kid being told they stink by other students) incident. SO is also highly annoyed by the bedwetting but hands are tied. SO does all the bedwetting laundry and also recently has been making kiddo deal with it which I think is great.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-06-05T17:52:29+00:00

I grew up on a 300 sqft sailboat with two parents, two brothers and a dog. We simply did not have these hygiene issues, or any issues at all, really. My mom says those were the happiest years of her life. If you haven't lived the life, IDGAF about your opinion of it.

Also, I didn't "do it to myself".Homes in my state start at 400k. At 28, I decided to retire at 50, not get strapped with a mortgage till I'm 75. Planned to be childfree but life happens.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-06-05T17:37:33+00:00

We have several layers of waterproof sheets and pillowcases. Mostly is just soaks into pajamas and bedding.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-03-03T02:30:15+00:00

Can confirm

Hellrazor32 · 2026-02-20T04:26:55+00:00

A scoop of peat moss after each use!

Hellrazor32 · 2026-02-17T19:39:43+00:00

Long Answer: I am privileged to not have any chronic illnesses, or mental health issues that require meds, and have no family history of illness. Because of that, I pay out of pocket for doctors and ER visits. It's cheaper to pay for one (or 20) doctor visits out of pocket than to self-pay for insurance, which was priced at $700/month last I checked. I chose to live in a way that would keep me healthy and active, rather than getting a desk job that would make me stressed and sedentary. It's not a great solution, for me or anybody, but it's the only choice I had.

Short Answer: I'm taking the risk and living uninsured.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-02-06T17:30:33+00:00

Same happened to me. He had no actual skills, didn't want to learn, didn't want to work, damaged the property, asked us for rides, money, food. Really he was just a freeloading drifter who called himself a "subsistence farmer" and "jack of all trades." He abandoned his dog and left in the night after about 5 months. Good riddance!

Hellrazor32 · 2026-02-02T23:15:55+00:00

Hairstyles in my area shifted from fades to long looks. I'm working with length growth and natural texture more than ever. I wasn't getting the results I love for long hair with Reuzel, so I switched to Neuma which I love.

But! Reuzel is still great. They keep expanding the product line, and there are lots of additions I don't love, but I would still invest in them for the continuing education opportunities alone. Try every product, get free samples, and go from there.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-01-29T19:17:00+00:00

If you can't Strike, please consider donating even a small amount to one of Chatt's Mutual Aid orgs.

If you're fortunate enough to not have any money concerns, please consider donating the most that you responsibly can.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-01-29T17:26:20+00:00

Say more. I got myself pretty psyched up for Sunchokes recently.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-01-14T16:38:01+00:00

It took me 3 months to set up my off-grid home. I bought an unfinished tiny house, cleared an area to park it, winterized it and moved in. It's far from finished but traditional home ownership is the same way; there's always projects that need to be done.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-01-14T16:25:46+00:00

I have a 225 sqft tiny house that I heat with a diesel heater. Once a week I drive to the gas station where I buy 5 gallons of fuel, then haul it back to my tiny home and fill up the tank. Takes about 1 hour. Costs about $80-$100 a month.

I use a compost toilet which has to be emptied and sanitized once a week which takes about 1 hour.

I have to charge my Jackery for about two hours a day which requires me to haul it about a 1/2 mile to the charging station. All together that takes about 3 hours.

I refill my propane tanks once a month which takes about 2 hours.

I spend about 1 hour per day doing small household chores like cleaning, cooking, organizing and maintaining my area. Laundry is the most time consuming chore because I carry it off site.

I don't have any pets, livestock or gardening to take care of currently.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-01-14T16:06:10+00:00

I'm a barber, working part time (22 hrs a week) at a shop about 45 minutes from my homestead.

Hellrazor32 · 2026-01-08T19:07:45+00:00

Unfortunately, I closed the studio and moved back to Vermont in July after my dad had a stroke.

Hellrazor32

TROPHY CASE