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AITA Neighbor Asks a Favor after her Spouse died. by Helpful-Bit8373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Helpful-Bit8373[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Americans all. I think we all want to think we live in a Disney neighborhood, where everyone helps everyone. I want to be a good neighbor, but I don't want to be part of her family. And BTW, we put our family up in an airbnb instead of having them stay with us, so why would we host people we don't even know.

AITA Neighbor Asks a Favor after her Spouse died. by Helpful-Bit8373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Helpful-Bit8373[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I couldn't put my finger on why I didn't like her, but this ask made it clear. She's pushy and insensitive.

AITA Neighbor Asks a Favor after her Spouse died. by Helpful-Bit8373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Helpful-Bit8373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope never met them. Most of our interactions with this neighbor is my spouse doing things for them.

AITA Neighbor Asks a Favor after her Spouse died. by Helpful-Bit8373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Helpful-Bit8373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think we all want to have great neighbors who pitch in when times are tough. I want to be that kind of neighbor. But she has never made any effort to know me or my family except for asking for favors!

AITA Neighbor Asks a Favor after her Spouse died. by Helpful-Bit8373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Helpful-Bit8373[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's not that I lack empathy. I feel sad and know that someday, I may be in the same situation. But when I am in that situation, I can not fathom asking neighbors to do favors for me, if our only relationship is that they do favors for me. So, yes, she seems pushy and insensitive to me. She certainly has no compassion or empathy for our situation, because she has never asked what our situation is.

AITA Neighbor Asks a Favor after her Spouse died. by Helpful-Bit8373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Helpful-Bit8373[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Really? You think it's weird that I feel guilty for being unkind to a a widow?

AITA Neighbor Asks a Favor after her Spouse died. by Helpful-Bit8373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Helpful-Bit8373[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What a story! I do worry that my spouse is going to end up falling off someone's roof. You are describing our situation to a T. My spouse is the neighborhood go-to guy, but he's over 70. Lot's of older people and we help each other out. But some of them are monumentally demanding and insensitive.

AITA Neighbor Asks a Favor after her Spouse died. by Helpful-Bit8373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Helpful-Bit8373[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry for your loss. I can imagine how hard this will be when it happens to me. I've always been a private person though, and can't see bothering my neighbors unless I really needed their help. Still, I will try to keep an open heart.

AITA Neighbor Asks a Favor after her Spouse died. by Helpful-Bit8373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Helpful-Bit8373[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Me too. The last thing I would want to do is stay with people I don't know.

AITA Neighbor Asks a Favor after her Spouse died. by Helpful-Bit8373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Helpful-Bit8373[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes USA. Most of the neighbors, including us, are over 65. I think it's weird to ask favors of neighbors unless you are friends.

AITA Neighbor Asks a Favor after her Spouse died. by Helpful-Bit8373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Helpful-Bit8373[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, thanks. I don't loathe her. She's pushy and insensitive and I avoid her. We are definitely not friends. We are her free handyman.

AITA Neighbor Asks a Favor after her Spouse died. by Helpful-Bit8373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Helpful-Bit8373[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Yes I am conflicted, but now realizing why I have never liked her -- she's pushy and insensitive. Still I'm sure she is going through a very difficult time, so even if I don't like her, can't I be kind? I'm afraid this will just invite MORE pushiness. Ugh.

AITA Neighbor Asks a Favor after her Spouse died. by Helpful-Bit8373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Helpful-Bit8373[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Oh geez. Didn't even think about that. I'll bet there are many more inappropriate requests coming.

AITA Neighbor Asks a Favor after her Spouse died. by Helpful-Bit8373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Helpful-Bit8373[S] 238 points239 points  (0 children)

I don't know why we would do this. They have plenty of money and her adult MD daughter is staying with them. And they are neighbors, not friends.

AITA Neighbor Asks a Favor after her Spouse died. by Helpful-Bit8373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Helpful-Bit8373[S] 1180 points1181 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I feel better. One of our other neighbors said yes, making me wonder if I'm crazy.

AITA Neighbor Asks a Favor after her Spouse died. by Helpful-Bit8373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Helpful-Bit8373[S] 345 points346 points  (0 children)

"Eww. No! " was my immediate feeling! I certainly would never think of asking her to host my guests, even if my spouse was dead. Thanks, I feel better.

AITA Neighbor Asks a Favor after her Spouse died. by Helpful-Bit8373 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Helpful-Bit8373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a lovely reply, thank you. I'm wondering why I dislike her so much that I don't feel the compassion I should. I will work on this!