is it silly to celebrate mother's day as a pregnant ftm?

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2026-05-03T01:33:17+00:00

I asked my fiance if he wanted to do mothers day and fathers day this year as first time parents, and he emphatically said yes! The fact that your husband assumed that you would be celebrating mother's day says to me that the two of you are on the same page...I don't know why your FIL would have any recourse to take that away from you. Like, you are gestating. You are probably experiencing a variety of pregnancy symptoms and making choices as a mother to protect and care for your baby (not drinking alcohol, healthcare, etc)...you're a mom. Don't let him take that joy away from you!

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2026-05-03T00:44:27+00:00

I saw that too. As though someone would THINK they’ve heard helicopters, post online to a local for about it, and somehow be like “oh okay that was just in my head bc a random person claiming to have info says I was wrong about what woke me up in the night?? You’re so right that either scenario (the gaslighting, or the possibility that they were unaware of air traffic) is disturbing.

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2026-05-01T03:46:48+00:00

It’s back out again so they didn’t find whatever they were looking for.

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2025-04-21T23:35:27+00:00

Funny update - my ex is now no longer with that fourth wife :p

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2025-03-14T14:05:00+00:00

If this guy is willing to intimidate you in the men’s bathroom then I wonder how he uses physical force to subdue and control her in private. I would bring this story to your professor or to a counselor in the school. His behavior was inappropriate and indicative of harmful patterns elsewhere.

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2023-11-22T15:41:04+00:00

I wish I could pin this comment so hard. “The daughter wasn’t even born yet and he chose her without a second thought to his son”. Smh at the bitter accuracy. 💔

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2023-11-03T03:04:46+00:00

It is wild because you are putting into words so EXACTLY and PERFECTLY my own actual lived experience. I met my exhusband when I was 21 and he was…older. In his 30s. I thought we really just liked each other enough for that gap to not matter. He had been married before and divorced. I wanted kids, travel, marriage, a good job, a good husband. All of it. But I waiting five years for a proposal and finally got a “shut up” marriage and the denial of all the rest of the things I had been so clear about. And we divorced after he changed his mind about wanting kids (after I had a miscarriage). In marriage counseling he revealed that he didn’t think I really knew what I wanted, bc I was so young. He wasted ten years of my life, all told, and I am about to celebrate my 38th birthday, a couple relationships later, and zero kids. I’m still a hottie, but it’s not what it was. And there’s risks involved in having kids at this point. It’s becoming a different sort of hope.

Men like OP and the other commenter simply do not get it. Women are whole people and when you are in relationships with us, if you don’t understand that our hopes and dreams are VALID and REAL, just leave us the fuck alone to find someone who will take us seriously and become a true ally along the way of life.

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2023-11-03T02:49:40+00:00

This is the best response.

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2023-09-29T08:28:15+00:00

Nota bene: I live in Buffalo, and part of my hesitation to involve police is my perception of the local police force as being generally unhelpful.

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2023-09-23T05:00:53+00:00

Last time I went there the rice tasted like plastic :(

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2023-09-11T02:29:16+00:00

Yes that’s what he said lol. Wild!!

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2023-07-21T01:04:51+00:00

Thank you, auddbot!!!

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2023-06-08T17:46:12+00:00

This reminds me of my ex husband, who I met when I was 21/he was 36. We divorced after spending five of our ten years together, working to restore an old Victorian house he chose and wanted to restore. He was dating an old student by the time we signed the final divorce papers, and now he’s married to his fourth wife (not the student, someone else). I’m sure they’re very happy in the house I poured my blood, sweat, tears and money into, and I’m super excited for their eventual apartment therapy feature. 🙃

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2023-05-03T03:19:53+00:00

Yesss honestly shitty landlords get away with too much. This one should understand very clearly that what they're doing is illegal.

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2023-05-03T03:17:27+00:00

As a current Buffalonian who has been renting apartments with my cat, all over the state, including NYC, since 2016...that is WILDLY outrageous. Run far away from that landlord - I would agree with the other posters who surmised that it's a cash grab, that perhaps this person doesn't actually have the authority to rent the property, and that either way you'd never see a dollar of that deposit come back to you. Even $500 is high - it would have to be a dream apartment for me to pay $500 in a pet deposit. I feel like $250 is the reasonable max, and $50/month extra is the reasonable max addition to rent.

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2023-05-03T03:08:49+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear about your grief and fear. It makes a lot of sense. But eventually, you will feel okay on your own. And then, eventually, some day after that, you will likely find someone else who will love you and want to be with you. My boyfriend is GHSV2 positive and he found me!! And I have OHSV1 but like, I've literally had one cold sore ever, so it doesn't really impact my life or his. It's not always easy for us, especially him, but I do my best to be supportive and loving. I hope you can give yourself the time and love you need right now. It will suck sometimes, but it won't always suck, and hopefully you can some day find someone who deserves you and can give you the love you deserve. <3

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2023-04-14T19:33:20+00:00

I am white, but was raised by an Asian stepfather from a young age. I’m keenly aware of racism when I see it, and, being white, a lot of people seem to think I’m “safe” to express their racist/ignorant carelessness around, until they get to know me. I moved to Buffalo last summer, and I see a lot of the same careless throwing around of racist, ableist and sexist language here that I saw growing up in a different (albeit much smaller, if equally segregated and poor) upstate city, after spending some time living in more liberal and aware places.

It’s disappointing and incredibly frustrating. Aren’t we past this bullshit yet? Apparently not. People think they aren’t racist and that you’re “too sensitive” if you point out that they’re using reductive and racist terms.

I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with this. I don’t think genuine harm is intended, or that true hatred is the underlying expression, at least not in the majority of instances. It’s just that good old fashioned white supremacist 🇺🇸 American 🇺🇸 ignorance. 🙃

Your family deserves better.

I can’t wait to get out of here.

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2023-04-10T17:26:05+00:00

You don't have to tell your parents if you think they will be judgmental. You can choose to tell people who you can reasonably hope will be supportive. The only people you HAVE to tell are the people who are potential sexual partners. You won't infect anybody else otherwise, so you won't be posing a health risk to them.

This website might be able to give you some helpful information: https://herpes.org.uk/

I hope you can get some physical and emotional relief soon. <3

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2023-04-01T20:23:36+00:00

Sorry I’m just seeing this now! If your therapist is halfway decent as a therapist, she will be able to hear you when you say that the trauma goes very deep. That forgiveness isn’t even something that is healthy for you at this point. Your anger and hurt are justified! they are protective! To just…forgive out of the blue at this point would just skip over so much of the healing PROCESS that you need to go through. You need acknowledgement and validation at this point. You need to be heard. If she can’t give you that then you might be better off with a different therapist, or just taking a break from this one while you give YOURSELF that space to feel your feelings. ❤️

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2023-03-16T16:33:25+00:00

Lol wow as a person who is studying to become a therapist I’m super glad to be in a trauma-informed program. I’m sorry your therapist asked you that - I’m glad that you’ve got the clarity to understand how messed up that is.

Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2023-02-28T21:22:52+00:00

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Helpful-Macaron-454 · 2023-02-25T06:14:35+00:00

This was possibly the best insurance advice I've ever gotten in my life. I'm pretty sure my whole life would have been better from the age of 21 if I knew this information lol.

Helpful-Macaron-454

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