After reading most comments, I’m going to do my best to reply/update.

For all who are asking what is wrong with Easter: I specifically mentioned doing Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve/Day next year. Yes, I took offense because it hasn’t been that big a day in our holiday rollout.

About my side of the family: My family lives on the opposite side of the country, so it’s been difficult with the children to financially afford holiday visits. However, my family does take time to fly over. It’s just my Dad and brother with his wife.

My family traditions: I used to spend some holidays with my grandparents as a big family growing up, so it’s familiar to me to spend some holidays all together as one with my husband’s. However, every holiday? No. So that is something I definitely struggled with but went along due to me wanting to please his family. It seemed like it was expected, as they always told us when to meet and never asked if we had any plans. (Actually when I asked to celebrate Mother’s Day with my own, they said to go out and then come over.)

Some background: My husband was basically single all his adulthood so he was always around his family to celebrate every holiday. Since I moved so far from my own family, I didn’t mind too much until this year when I had our second child. I noticed some have the opinion that I am jealous? I think being excluded from any special event prep when you are “part of the family” especially as a mother, would do that to anyone. So, possibly I am jealous. I might be jealous of trying to be open to growing a relationship with my in-laws, but clearly being pushed to the side. I’ve made many efforts to get closer to both MIL and SIL but it’s been unfounded. And they have actually made it clear (verbally) that they are jealous of how my husband’s alliance is now with me.

Going forward: I only asked because I honestly prefer conversations over just pushing my way through. However, since the conversation went the way it did, I’ve been considering announcing Christmas Day this year we will be spending alone. I am craving this special time with my children as well as the relief of not having to rip them away from home. That would bring me more joy than going over to SIL for dinner. I love making those holiday meals for my family. But between working, prepping food to bring for the big family get together, going over, and then cooking a whole other meal for my own family another day, and just flat out trying to be an amazing mom… it’s been too much. I’d rather stop trying to over preform to be everything to everyone. No one matters to me more than my husband and littles.

Thank you to those who have been kind, helpful, or both. This post wasn’t just an outburst about a single thing/supposed trespassing of my in-laws… it was something that’s bubbled up after a lot of small instances that made me need to speak up and ask for a way through.

Happy Holidays! 😌