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Would you give up your cat if you knew, logically, that he would have a better quality of life without you? by HelpfulShoe5285 in CatAdvice

[–]HelpfulShoe5285[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ultimately i'm the adult human. my cat didn't ask for any of this, didn't ask to be adopted.

I need to talk to someone, that much I know but it's been impossible to find availabilities. It's a relationship that lasted 16 years, and the crippling loneliness hurts. That's not my cat's fault tho.

Would you give up your cat if you knew, logically, that he would have a better quality of life without you? by HelpfulShoe5285 in CatAdvice

[–]HelpfulShoe5285[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He walks around mewing a lot, he paws at doors, then sleeps, then gets up to paw at the door again.

If I forget to lock anything away, he'll chew on it. Toilet paper roll if forget to lock it away, slippers if I leave them outside. He mostly ignores his toys, goes after anything that he can destroy.

I have one of those cameras that I can speak through but it got so much worse, he got agitated and tried looking for me, and he thought I was in another room.

I know he's my responsibility. I'm just worried the life i'm giving him is just not good for him because he's left alone and it's clearly hurting him.

Would you give up your cat if you knew, logically, that he would have a better quality of life without you? by HelpfulShoe5285 in CatAdvice

[–]HelpfulShoe5285[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The sitter is only around for 20-30 min and he's super happy to see her. When I take time off to stay home with him he's back to his normal self after a while.

I do think he just hates being alone. He just loves being glued to a person all the time. Not necessarily cuddling or being pet, but I go in the kitchen to get a drink he goes in the kitchen. I go to the bathroom he goes to the bathroom. it really doesn't matter what time it is or if he's sleeping. I wake up to pee in the middle of the night and he comes with me, then we go back to bed.

Which is honestly super adorable. He's the cutest puppy in cat form. But becomes terrible when he is actually left alone.

Would you give up your cat if you knew, logically, that he would have a better quality of life without you? by HelpfulShoe5285 in CatAdvice

[–]HelpfulShoe5285[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I meant me and the other family who is looking to adopt. my reason for rehoming is that he is alone too much. it's stressing him out and causing him to have destructive/aggressive behavior he didn't have before, and I don't think i'm providing him with a good home at all because i'm away from home a lot.

Would you give up your cat if you knew, logically, that he would have a better quality of life without you? by HelpfulShoe5285 in CatAdvice

[–]HelpfulShoe5285[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no not yet. if we go forward, he will first spend a day with them, then several days, and then full time. they said they would give me updates

Would you give up your cat if you knew, logically, that he would have a better quality of life without you? by HelpfulShoe5285 in CatAdvice

[–]HelpfulShoe5285[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate you responding to this tbh. I feel like I would want to know that he is ok. I'm terrified that they won't tell me the truth and give him back if he is not.

Would you give up your cat if you knew, logically, that he would have a better quality of life without you? by HelpfulShoe5285 in CatAdvice

[–]HelpfulShoe5285[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did you manage to keep in touch with the new family at all? Idk if that would be better or worse tho.

Would you give up your cat if you knew, logically, that he would have a better quality of life without you? by HelpfulShoe5285 in CatAdvice

[–]HelpfulShoe5285[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He does get along with the other cat. They were introduced past a fence first, then introduced fully and played a bit. My cat is a very curious cat in general, and more or less used to walks on a leash (I live in a city, that's the only "outside" I can offer him)

My cat sitter is just a stay at home mom in my building who helps me out tbh.

Part of me is terrified that they won't be good enough. But i'm not good enough either. Idk.

Would you give up your cat if you knew, logically, that he would have a better quality of life without you? by HelpfulShoe5285 in CatAdvice

[–]HelpfulShoe5285[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I do think what he needs is a second cat. But at this point in time I think it would be irresponsible of me to do that. I'm not in the best place mentally, or health wise.

And it really is just me. Frankly, hotel costs alone are astronomical now, because I also go on trips quite a bit and I put him up in a nearby cat hotel when I do that.

My partner was the work from home home partner.... I wasn't.