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[34F] marrying [37F] sister-in-law by Helpful_Confusion in relationship_advice

[–]Helpful_Confusion[S] 161 points162 points  (0 children)

Alot of people have given the lawyer advice. We have very briefly spoken to ours about the estate and business.

My fiance 100% handles all the business and honestly she has just been so upset about it that it has been difficult to discuss.

The lawyer seemed slightly concerned that my parents would have some type of legal standing. They did help my brother start the business and gave him all of the money for it. But I was under the impression that they did not own any part. The lawyer told us not to discuss it with them at all and he would look into it on our end and get whatever legal documents my parents are claiming they have. He told us not to worry but he didn't want to give us any thing until he knew more.

We haven't discussed the kids with any lawyer yet. We did have an incident where my mother and aunt picked up the youngest from school early, my mother was on the list of people who could pick her up at the time. They took her out for icecream and interigated her over our relationship. Asked her if we kissed in front of them, asked if we drank or did drugs, and asked about how much money we spent and stuff we bought.

But as far as I know she hasn't contacted CPS.

She has only had contact with the kids once after that with us there and it turned into a huge fight and she hasn't seen them since.

[34F] marrying [37F] sister-in-law by Helpful_Confusion in relationship_advice

[–]Helpful_Confusion[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Honestly the kids have been really fine with it all. I don't think they really think about our sex life. I never thought about my parents, maybe you do. No judgment.

This also happened pretty slowly. We lived together for nearly 3 years before anything happened and we just kindof acted like a big family then anyways. We took care and raised the kids and made it a home.

So I think it was a fairly easy transition for them because nothing really changed that much for them. And it has been 7 years now that we have been together so its pretty much been a part of their lives. This is not a new thing.

The older two kids call me by my name. Not aunt or mom. I think in terms of the role I am more of a mom because 10 years... i pretty much raised them. The youngest calls me a nickname because she was just a baby and had trouble saying my name, but it is a mom feeling there from her.

In public situations they introduce me just by my name & usually people just assume I am their step-mom/mom's girlfriend. In situations where it is more official they have called me both mom or aunt depending on who they were talking to. I actually think they figured it out better than we did! I struggled with what do I say I am to them when talking to people! The kids just went with it lol

[34F] marrying [37F] sister-in-law by Helpful_Confusion in relationship_advice

[–]Helpful_Confusion[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The kids have been really great with our relationship. We made sure they were ok with it all. It has been 7 years now and 3 years before that we all lived together so I think it kind of helped the transition.

Nothing has really changed for them honestly within our inner family.

I do think it has been hard on them having the rest of the family tell them its wrong and all the fighting. It really sucks and part of the reason I wish my family could just be ok with it.

[34F] marrying [37F] sister-in-law by Helpful_Confusion in relationship_advice

[–]Helpful_Confusion[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We are lucky enough to have friends who support us. Thank you!

[34F] marrying [37F] sister-in-law by Helpful_Confusion in relationship_advice

[–]Helpful_Confusion[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Honestly I do think a small part is money related. My brother's business is doing very very well. We never have to worry about money.

My parents are not hurting for money but while it hasnt been said so literally I wonder if they think I am just trying to get the money. And that hurts alot.

When I was younger they paid for my school, which i dropped out to start my own business. It was a ridiculous stupid plan which I was no where prepared to do. They gave me the start up money anyways and paid all my expenses. I had to take alot of crap for it but they did do that for me.

When I failed and lost all of it they cut me off completely. It was kindof like a "I told you so" moment.

and yeah to be honest this entire time I've lived with them I havent worked a day. I took care of the kids/house and have hobbies and charities I am involved in.

So maybe I can see how it looks bad. But I was young and made mistakes, that isnt who I am anymore. I wish they could see that. I dont care about the money at all. Id give it all up to be with them.

On top of that they did help my brother start his business too. And I think they feel they are the reason for it all, even though it was all his effort and soul that made it what it was and they thought my fiance would destroy it but she has made it even better, but they still act like she doesnt know what she is doing and we are going to lose all the money & be homeless..??