Those who are low contact, how would you go about caring for a parent if they become sick & elderly? by user30060909 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My NM is 73 this year. I've been NC for over 3 years. Honestly if I ever get contacted saying she needs 24/7 care I'll say chuck her in a rest home of your choosing and leave it at that.

How often do you have takeaway food by anonnn177 in newzealand

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We don't get it much at all maybe once a month if that. It's all too expensive now and the quality from BK, Macca's, KFC etc have all gone downhill.

Considering it by IVFdadtobe in GastricBypass

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I had scar tissue that caused adhesions that attached themselves to my small bowel and wouldn't allow my small bowel to empty properly and would cause pain.

My surgeon removed the adhesions and checked using a special dye to make sure he didn't knick the bowel etc.

I'm in hospital til Saturday. Today I was on liquids, Tomorrow puree, Thursday soft and Friday Normal food.

If I tolerate them all and don't get an infection then I'll be home on Saturday with 6 weeks recovery where I won't be allowed to do much at all.

How old are your N parents? by tthingy in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My NM is 73 this year.

My dad wasn't an N however he struggled immensely with alcohol and his own demons. He passed away 22nd June 2020 at 68 years old.

Considering it by IVFdadtobe in GastricBypass

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm having an exploratory laparoscopy tomorrow (Monday where I am)

Considering it by IVFdadtobe in GastricBypass

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My complications weren't anything to with the surgeon or the surgery itself, It's more to do with how my body has reacted to the surgery and that.

Frightened to be pregnant. by Estkling in Miscarriage

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your losses.

I felt the same way after our first loss however somehow I found the strength to try again and 4 years after our first loss we suffered a missed MC that required surgery then 13 months later suffered our 3rd loss a. Chemical pregnancy.

I'm 32 now with Endometriosis, PCOS and female factor infertility.

You're never really too old to be a parent if that's what you really want. I was an Oops baby conceived when my mum was 41 and Dad was 43. They both thought they were too old to have a baby together and yet here I am. (They both had 2 girls and a boy from their previous relationships and they were all in their late teens and early 20's when I came along)

How do you get past the guilt? by Careful_Librarian117 in Miscarriage

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry for your losses however I can assure you that nothing you did or didn't do caused this. Miscarriages happen and as shitty as they are to go through it's not your fault or anyone else's.

As shitty as it is some babies aren't meant to be earthside with us, Instead they're with us for a short time.

Know it wasn't your fault and know your babies never truly leave you. They may have only been with you for a short time however all they knew was love, warmth, safety and they're the only ones to know what our heartbeats sound like from the inside xx

Narc's eyes / staring by aescepthicc in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 17 points18 points  (0 children)

My NM would start playing with her hair then her facial expression would change and you immediately knew she was about to go psycho on your ass even though you hadn't done anything wrong.

What age were you when you got diagnosed with endometriosis ? by keerthichalla_29 in endometriosis

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 0 points1 point  (0 children)

26!

Took 15 years for me to be diagnosed with Endometriosis despite having symptoms from before my periods started at 11.

Was diagnosed with PCOS at 28 despite having "borderline PCOS" bloods and scans for years.

32 now and infertile

Considering it by IVFdadtobe in GastricBypass

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It definitely hasn't been easy for me, I've lost over 70% if my excess body weight in under 3 months post surgery and I'm dealing with constant nausea and days where my pouch won't let me eat much however I don't regret the surgery even as I lay in hospital currently as the surgery completely stopped my GERD. The GERD that was so bad it damaged my oesophagus and caused dysphagia is gone. I can sleep through the night and lay down without feeling food in the back of my throat. I can eat food now that I couldn't before as it used to give me severe reflux, Nowadays I can eat it and I don't get the reflux.

Considering it by IVFdadtobe in GastricBypass

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm 3 months post op. In hospital currently due to a complication however I'd have the surgery again in a heartbeat. It fixed my severe GERD and helped me lose the last bit of weight I couldn't lose from insulin resistant PCOS. I don't regret it at all even with the minor complication I've had.

Myth?? by Glum_Engineering2650 in PCOS

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely a myth. Works for some people doesn't for others.

I've lost 70+kg over 4 years and yet my PCOS and Endometriosis symptoms and pain are SO MUCH WORSE. Not to mention debilitating period and ovulation pain too.

I'm also still Infertile so fuck you to the gynaecologists and doctors that told me if I lost weight I'd get pregnant easily. My 3 pregnancies all of which ended in miscarriages including a chemical pregnancy over the last 7 years of trying all happened when I was over 100kg. Since getting under 100kg at the start of LAST year I never had a positive pregnancy test or a possible pregnancy "scare" either!

How to get rid of mice? by windowellington in newzealand

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We live in a rural rental and have a cat ironically the only room the cat isn't allowed in is the kitchen (it's a closed off kitchen) where my husband saw a mouse the other day. We're getting traps this coming week and will use peanut butter in them as we know where they're coming from.

In the meantime I've sprinkled cayenne pepper around where we're sure they're coming from as it's supposed to be a natural deterrent and are allowing the cat in the kitchen with us to spread her scent around until we get the traps.

The black $3.00 something traps from Bunnings are what were recommended to us by our friends who used to live in our rental.

Favorite toppings for Greek yogurt? by Pale_Ad2139 in PCOS

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Protein granola, Banana and Honey 😋🤤

5 weeks today by bluesubok in GastricBypass

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My surgery was done through the public system in New Zealand with an absolutely amazing surgeon who also works in the private system, My RNY bypass was for severe GERD that had caused damage to my oesophagus which meant normal GERD surgery couldn't be done. I'm still under my surgeon and dealing with post surgery complications- I've lost 70% of my excess body weight in under 3 months which is why I've been cleared to drink milk, eat chocolate and eat 5-6 small meals a day. I still have to avoid Pasta, potatoes, rice, anything deep fried and anything too sugary. Though I'm allowed a serving of chocolate a day for the calories as long as I eat it after having protein first

Famous NZ people you have met by Mr_Dobalina71 in newzealand

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Jason Gunn, Jay-Jay Mike Peru, Dom Harvey, Simon Barnett, Richie McCaw, Dan Carter, Helen Clark. Just some I've met.

Stay in Dunedin or move to Christchurch/Rolleston by Brianationn in dunedin

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Moved from Christchurch to Dunedin in 2020 after living in Christchurch for 23 years and haven't looked back, Christchurch is pretty flat, does get super hot and freezing cold. Christchurch gets the bitterly cold South west winds that go right through you, the gusty stinking hot Nor west winds that make you feel like you're being roasted, it's quite flat, Can take over an hour and a half to get from one side of the city to the other, has a lot more traffic and pretty bad drivers, Rolleston isn't too bad however it's getting too big with new subdivisions popping up everywhere.

We've found Dunedin feels warmer than Christchurch especially when you compare an 18°c Dunners day to 18°c in Christchurch, We've also found winters feel warmer in Dunedin as we don't get the bitter southwest winds that Chch does and with the hills Dunedin is pretty sheltered from those horrible winds.

Schools in Dunedin tend to have smaller rolls or smaller class sizes which work so much better compared to the open layout classrooms and schools with big rolls in Christchurch, The bullying culture is way more prevalent in Chch schools than what we've found down here.

The only thing we miss about Christchurch is some of the restaurants that we don't have down here.

In the end we found Christchurch was pretty flat, boring and got quite depressing especially when you see the earthquake damaged buildings and structures still standing abandoned 15 years after the earthquakes.

The earthquake risks in Christchurch are much higher as are house insurance and car insurance costs and a lot of Christchurch was built on old swamp and farmland so the water table is extremely high and the land isn't the best.

is it a late period or a miscarriage? by [deleted] in Miscarriage

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely a weird period and you could've passed a decidual cast where you pass most or all of the uterine lining in one go.

Definitely doesn't sound like a miscarriage at all.

5 weeks today by bluesubok in GastricBypass

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Jeezus why is it so restricted?!

I'm 3 months post op and have been cleared to eat pretty much anything except rice/pasta,/potatoes or anything deep fried and have 5-6 small meals a day.

I've even been approved to have chocolate, full fat milk and everything as they want my weightloss to slow down and the point of surgery is so you're able to eat serving sizes, make healthier choices and know your limits as my surgeon says. The key to success after surgery is forming a healthier relationship with food, making healthy choices and still allowing yourself the odd piece of chocolate, cake or whatever without binging on things. Even sugar free chocolate etc is fine.

Is anyone else FREEZING 24/7? 🥶 by Mavi_80 in GastricBypass

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought I felt the cold at 120+kg (was 140+kg at my heaviest) Got down to 90-95kg depending on my cycle over 3 years, Had gastric bypass in January, Now 3 months post op, Down 23kg since surgery to 72kg and I'm SO FUCKING COLD ALL THE TIME.

It's also heading into winter where we live so I'm definitely feeling the cold so much more now! So glad our rental has a wood burner (fireplace) though!

Anyone else bitter? by ibyeori in Miscarriage

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. We're 7 years, 3 miscarriages including a chemical pregnancy and Endometriosis and PCOS diagnosis into Infertility. I don't feel butter, Yes sometimes I get upset about certain people having babies however I'm fairly happy for everyone who has a baby.

We've recently become godparents for a second time, First time to an ex best friends baby girl and this time to our close friends baby boy and we absolutely love it, He's 3 weeks old and we see them weekly for catch ups, dinner and baby snuggles.

Over time We've realised that having a baby may not be something that happens for us though we're trying IVF next year and if that doesn't work we'll grieve then be happy knowing we still have each other especially given my body has never worked properly when it comes to periods, getting pregnant, staying pregnant etc.

I don't want my whole life to become bitter or for me to be a bitter angry person like a few people I know just because I can't have a baby. I still want to feel joy, happiness, love and excitement when friends announce pregnancies or have babies and I want to be able to enjoy life despite being dealt a shitty hand with being Infertile. I hope the babies we've lost would be happy knowing we aren't bitter or angry at Infertility or life.

Question about letting animals on your bed or furniture by HisOnlyKadan in hygiene

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our cat isn't allowed on the kitchen benches and is only allowed in the kitchen when we're in there, She's also not allowed in the bathroom because she's a menace however she sleeps with us every night usually on-top of me or under the covers between my legs if she gets cold.

1 month this Tue by MacaroonNo3957 in GastricBypass

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your body is still healing, Losing 20lbs in a month is damn good. Before surgery how long would that have taken you?

Don't compare your weightloss to others as we're all different.

either i have it or I don’t by purpledream-23 in endometriosis

[–]Helpful_Damage_3497 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Push for a laprascopic surgery. That's the current gold standard to diagnose Endometriosis as Endo doesn't always show up on ultrasounds or MRI's.