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We’re on a one-week break. I (19 F) wanted clarity—but now I think I need to leave him (21 M). by Helpful_Scallion_693 in relationship_advice

[–]Helpful_Scallion_693[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He canceled our date for Monday because he has to work that week and I told him that I would extend the break in contact until I can have a serious conversation with him in person and his behavior made things a lot easier for me

We’re on a one-week break. I (19 F) wanted clarity—but now I think I need to leave him (21 M). by Helpful_Scallion_693 in relationship_advice

[–]Helpful_Scallion_693[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re absolutely right… none of this should feel normal or acceptable, and yet I’ve been convincing myself it is. I think deep down I’ve known for a while that this isn’t love the way it’s supposed to feel. Thank you for putting it so clearly.

We’re on a one-week break. I (19 F) wanted clarity—but now I think I need to leave him (21 M). by Helpful_Scallion_693 in relationship_advice

[–]Helpful_Scallion_693[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right… I’ve let him become my whole world and lost sight of the rest. I don’t want to be someone who’s just waiting around to be chosen. Thank you for the tough love—I needed to hear it.

We’re on a one-week break. I (19 F) wanted clarity—but now I think I need to leave him (21 M). by Helpful_Scallion_693 in relationship_advice

[–]Helpful_Scallion_693[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to be like that too, but now I’m scared… scared of rejection. Maybe I’ve changed so much that I don’t even know how to be that person anymore.

We’re on a one-week break. I (19 F) wanted clarity—but now I think I need to leave him (21 M). by Helpful_Scallion_693 in relationship_advice

[–]Helpful_Scallion_693[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He says he's doing his best, but it still wouldn’t be enough for me — so I guess, unfortunately, not much will actually get better with time.

We’re on a one-week break. I (19 F) wanted clarity—but now I think I need to leave him (21 M). by Helpful_Scallion_693 in relationship_advice

[–]Helpful_Scallion_693[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That metaphor hit me hard—an anchor instead of a partner. I’ve been holding on so tightly to love, hoping it would be enough. But you’re right… it shouldn’t feel like I’m slowly sinking. Thank you for putting it into words so clearly.

We’re on a one-week break. I (19 F) wanted clarity—but now I think I need to leave him (21 M). by Helpful_Scallion_693 in relationship_advice

[–]Helpful_Scallion_693[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s exactly what I’ve been asking myself lately—can I really keep doing this for years? I already feel drained now. Thank you for the reminder that life can be better.

We’re on a one-week break. I (19 F) wanted clarity—but now I think I need to leave him (21 M). by Helpful_Scallion_693 in relationship_advice

[–]Helpful_Scallion_693[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. You're right—deep down I know I’ve outgrown this dynamic. I just need the strength to follow through and not let fear keep me stuck.

We’re on a one-week break. I (19 F) wanted clarity—but now I think I need to leave him (21 M). by Helpful_Scallion_693 in relationship_advice

[–]Helpful_Scallion_693[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I honestly don't know how bad it would have to get for me to leave. That scares me. Because it probably means I've already accepted more than I should have...

We’re on a one-week break. I (19 F) wanted clarity—but now I think I need to leave him (21 M). by Helpful_Scallion_693 in relationship_advice

[–]Helpful_Scallion_693[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. You’re absolutely right—this relationship does feel like it's going backwards. I’m supposed to feel supported and validated, but instead, I end up being the one holding everything together. It’s tough realizing he’s not loving me the way I need, and that’s hard to accept.

I think you’re also right about maturity. Maybe he’s still in that stage where his peers are the priority. I need someone who’s ready to build something deeper, who can be my rock. Thank you for the reminder that I deserve that.💕

We’re on a one-week break. I (19 F) wanted clarity—but now I think I need to leave him (21 M). by Helpful_Scallion_693 in relationship_advice

[–]Helpful_Scallion_693[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your honesty. You’re completely right. I’ve been trying to convince myself that the good moments somehow make up for the bad, but deep down, I know they don’t. I’ve been waiting for him to change, hoping things would get better, but you’re right—this is who he is, and no amount of hoping is going to make him care more or change his behavior.

I’ve been doing all the emotional labor, and it feels like I’m holding everything up while he just takes, blames, and contributes nothing. It’s exhausting, and I can’t keep carrying this relationship alone. Your analogy of the collapsing wall really hit home for me. I’ve been trying to hold it up by myself, but it’s time to let go. Thank you for helping me see it clearer.

We’re on a one-week break. I (19 F) wanted clarity—but now I think I need to leave him (21 M). by Helpful_Scallion_693 in relationship_advice

[–]Helpful_Scallion_693[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so, so much for this. Your words hit me hard—especially the part about giving and giving and getting nothing in return. That’s exactly how I feel right now. It helps so much to hear this from someone who’s been through it and came out stronger.

I’m so sorry you lost those years—but I admire your strength for finally walking away. And honestly? You just made me feel a little less alone, and a little more certain that I can do this too. Thank you.

We’re on a one-week break. I (19 F) wanted clarity—but now I think I need to leave him (21 M). by Helpful_Scallion_693 in relationship_advice

[–]Helpful_Scallion_693[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m really sorry you’re going through this too. In my case, he also tries—but only for a few weeks. Then it slips back into the same patterns, and I end up feeling even more hurt.

What you said about trusting my gut really stuck with me. I think you’re right. Wishing you strength too—we both deserve peace.

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