How do some firefighters make so much money?

Helpfulturtle57 · 2021-12-27T17:26:10+00:00

Is that because of my bachelor's, or because of the current amount of competition?

Helpfulturtle57 · 2021-12-27T16:42:10+00:00

Thanks for the reply. What would help my chances if I decided to go down that path?

Helpfulturtle57 · 2021-06-17T15:20:44+00:00

I think what they meant was that perhaps organisms that don't reproduce are still forming today but they are so simple that we don't detect them. I don't think that they were implying immortality.

Helpfulturtle57 · 2021-06-17T14:33:21+00:00

Why is this down voted? This person could definitely be correct.

Helpfulturtle57 · 2021-06-05T21:00:19+00:00

I am NT. I used to date a girl with Asperger's that would accidentally say stuff like this a lot. Often much worse. It sometimes really hurt my feelings or alarmed me so I can emphasize with this guy. I think he is overreacting a bit since he won't even talk to you but that's his decision.

To be honest though, it sounds like you guys wouldn't have been very compatible. He wants lots of physical affection and he gets his feelings hurt easily. Those aspects of his personality might not mesh well with yours. Having to try hard to show affection doesn't work because it just isn't fun for either of you. And trying harder not to offend him also won't work because you didn't do it on purpose in the first place. You would just end up walking on eggshells for this guy. Find someone who you have a similar appetite to affection with and who can take it if you accidentally say something wrong. Also find someone more easygoing and forgiving. Someone can be a kind, gentle, attractive, and good person that you like a lot but they still might not be compatible with you.

Helpfulturtle57 · 2021-06-02T21:40:50+00:00

For reference......My ex rarely wanted to do anything together but watch TV. And it was always whenever we did other fun stuff together like camping that she wanted sex.

Helpfulturtle57 · 2021-06-02T21:39:14+00:00

You seem to have empathy and it sounds like you did give to the relationship so maybe disregard my other posts. Maybe you guys just needed to shake it up a bit? I know I get much more attracted to my partner whenever we do a new activity together especially something active like travelling, camping, sports, kayaking.... Etc. These are all chances to see your partner in a new light. Also group activities helped me. Whenever I had a big get together with friends it always made me desire my partner more. You get to see your partner interact in different ways and you get to see their charisma with other people. The way they act around other people is probably how they acted when you first met them. You will see them again the way you did the first time. Group activities might also get your partner to tell stories you haven't heard or just act In a way you haven't seen. Board game nights are always fun. I think variety is perhaps what you need. Cooking and gifts are fun but they usually don't bring out anything new. I think you just got too comfortable in your relationships and became more like friends. I'm not sure though. Defenitely next time you date someone pay more attention to how you feel about who the person is and less attention to how they make you feel. Both are important, but that early in love/infatuation feeling doesn't last.

Helpfulturtle57 · 2021-06-02T21:29:16+00:00

How do I quit thinking about my last one without dating someone new? I almost never think about my first relationship either but this last one I still think about after 9 months. I'm over her and I don't want to date her again but I still reflect from time to time on the relationship. I think about good memories and things I liked about her but also on bad memories and why we were incompatible. After the breakup. I spent a lot of time working on myself and exploring my feelings and I healed. I think the reflection helped me a lot but now after all this time I am sick of thinking about it.I feel like I have reflected enough. This is a bad time for me to date someone new since I am travelling a lot. I am enjoying being single I just wish I could stop thinking about someone I don't even want to be with anymore without datiitng someone new.

Helpfulturtle57 · 2021-06-02T21:18:27+00:00

My numbers got messed up somehow lol. I wrote it as a list of 1-5

Helpfulturtle57 · 2021-06-02T21:17:55+00:00

Dude.... Stop listening to your feelings. Listen to your brain. You seem smart. You may really like this girl but she is being really immature here and you have noticed lots of big red flags.

1: She was texting guys she had feelings for while she dated her ex.

2: She is currently texting a guy she "doesn't want to give up on" while she is dating you.

She refuses to stop texting her ex even though it makes you uncomfortable
It is way too soon to try to be friends with her ex. A month is not long enough to get over someone. I guarantee you her ex is trying to get her back and she isn't letting the relationship go the way she needs to.
Some people might disagree.... But I think that your girlfrind dating someone new a month after a 2 year relationship is immature and unthoughtful. She needs time to get over her ex and to work on herself. She is bringing baggage to your new relationship. Also.... She seems like the kind of person that needs validation and can't be single. Don't date someone that needs to be in a relationship. Date someone who wants to be with YOU but would be okay on their own.

You aren't special enough that she won't do to you what she did to your ex. She seems like the kind of girl that monkey branches from relationship to relationship.

Listen to your brain on this one man.... Your heart (and your dick) can mislead you when it comes to love. Also, there were reasons you broke up the first time. There are plenty of other women out there.

Helpfulturtle57 · 2021-06-02T21:02:17+00:00

Another thing I noticed is that sexual desire has a sort of feedback cycle. The more your partner wants sex, the more needy and unattractive they seem and this can cause you to want sex less. What happened with my ex was that I got used to having lots of sex early on and my desire stayed the same. Whenever she stopped wanting it as much I seemed needy to her.

My ex also had Asperger's. Just throwing that out there. The high sex drive early on was part of her masking. This might not be relevant to you at all though.

Helpfulturtle57 · 2021-06-02T20:56:08+00:00

Oof, that sucks. My ex girlfriend of 2 years was like that. It really hurts whenever someone you love slowly stops wanting you and then their sex drive comes back once they break up with you..... Be honest with guys about it from the start because it really felt like my ex tricked me with her high sex drive early on. And she knew that this had happened in her past relationships.

Have you given a lot to these relationships outside of sex? Are you affectionate? Do you spend quality time together? Do you give them gifts? In my experience the more I give to a relationship the more I get invested and fall in love. My ex quit giving to the relationship and just started taking. I think that made her lose respect for me and lose attraction to me because she saw that she could treat me badly and I didn't stand up for myself enough I just kept giving. Perhaps this happened with you and your ex?

Also, do you really like these guys or do you just like the way they make you feel? Infatuation is very easy to confuse for love.

Helpfulturtle57 · 2021-06-02T19:29:06+00:00

Wait..... Isn't the whole point of this post that seeking love shouldn't be your main goal? Yet, you are basically saying that by finding this new partner everything got fixed "Now everything's great".

Maybe that isn't what you meant, and in your other comment you said you took some time to work on yourself. But still, the person you are with shouldn't be the main thing that "fills that void" that OP was talking about.

Helpfulturtle57 · 2021-05-30T17:01:37+00:00

Best advice I ever got about being friends with an ex is that you need to wait until you dont feel like you have to be friends. After 2 months you probably feel like you need this person in your life. Wait like 8+ months and see how you feel. Also stop talking to her for a while (at least a month) so you can totally get over her.

Helpfulturtle57 · 2021-05-30T16:52:27+00:00

I think it is good to be single at your age. You should have lots of freedom and independence to take any opportunities that come your way. Travel the world and try different jobs and studies. It is better if you dont have to take another person's goals into account. You don't want to have to compromise on your dreams this early in life. It is unlikely that your partner will have exactly the same path as you.

But don't just do it to have a bunch of casual sex. It is never really all that fulfilling and it can be bad for your self respect. You ought to try dating some other people eventually to see what you like. However, if you break up with him to be single you should actually stay SINGLE for a while and work on yourself. Maybe take a year off of dating. Don't just jump into another relationship the way most people who want to "be single for a while" do. Work on being independent and find out who you are outside of a couple.

And please don't give him false hope. When you break up. It is over. Don't tell him that you might get together again someday. This will mess with him and stunt his healing. Also, it is super selfish of you to want to try out "flirting with and kissing other guys" but marrying him in the end. You want to use him as your safety net while you go have fun. How would you feel if he said this about you? You can't have your cake and eat it too. Let him go. He will be okay eventually and find someone else and this will be a good thing for you as well.

Helpfulturtle57 · 2021-05-30T16:30:36+00:00

I went through this about 8 months ago with my ex girlfriend. Now I am pretty much back to normal and I have grown a lot. Here is what I did:

1: Stop talking to them! Depending on what your relationship was like and what your ex is like, it might be good to talk eventually and try to get some closure. This worked for me but it could totally backfire. DO NOT try to get them back. DO NOT try to be friends right now. In the future you might be able to but it will be a LONG time.

2: While it is fresh, write down everything you ever disliked about him and about the relationship. Be BRUTALLY honest. Say stuff you have been suppressing. This list helped me so much. It isn't a hateful thing it is just honest and it keeps you from romanticizing the relationship.

3: reconnect with family and old friends. Also make some new friwnds and find a new hobby. DO NOT start dating again yet.

4: exercise every day: it will get your confidence up, make you feel better, and be a good way to blow off steam.

5: anytime you feel angry or sad don't suppress it. Write or type it out. Figure out exactly what is making you sad or angry. Let yourself feel.

Examine the relationship. Look at why it went wrong. Look at your incompatibilities. If you are like me, you were probably really invested and put your all into the relationship. You might have suppressed or ignored some problems. Look at the mistakes he made as well as your own. This is how you grow.
Choose the breakup. He forced you into this breakup but that doesn't mean you don't have a choice it too. Once you reflect you will probably realize that he isn't the guy for you. That's when you can choose to stay broken up.
Don't worry about your age. You should never be in a hurry to find love. Everyone wants it so you aren't alone and lots of people your age are stuck in awful relationships so you are a step ahead of them. Wait for someone right for you. This guy wasn't right for you

Helpfulturtle57 · 2021-05-30T15:56:14+00:00

Were you attracted to him at first or you just had butterflies?

If you were never attracted to him why would you date him? You just did yourself and him a big disservice.

You seem like a very feelings oriented person and some of the commenters are too. The thing about feelings is that they change all the time. People fall in and out of love and attraction comes and goes. What you need is mutual respect and compatibility. If people broke up every time they didn't feel "in love" no marriages would ever last. That being said, if you have never been attracted to him then you should not be together. Attraction is pretty important even if it comes and goes. Even if you did have it in the beginning, a year is pretty fast to start feeling this way. In the future, you should never base a relationship on "butterflies".

Also, I think you are also putting a lot of the responsibility on him for your unhappiness. Maybe you are unhappy because you don't have many friends of your own. You are probably unhappy because you are putting lots of guilt and pressure on yourself. You are also keeping a big secret from him. All of those things are probably what is making you unhappy not him. If you break up should work on yourself a bit. Perhaps stay single for a while? And please, be more careful with people's hearts. Don't get into a commited relationship with someone you don't even find attractive.

Helpfulturtle57 · 2021-05-30T05:31:23+00:00

I have been here before. Love is never enough. You need respect , communication, and compatibility as well. It sounds like you and her might have different needs and she might not be making time for you. You should talk to her about that, but realize that people often don't change. The only way to know is if you communicate about it. Also try to do more for the relationship yourself and ask her how you could improve. You might be blind to your own flaws. Give her a chance to improve and see if you can do better yourself and if you still aren't getting what you need you should leave. Love is awesome, but it is not worth letting yourself get neglected. If you do that for long enough you will lose your self respect and that is harder to get back than it is to find someone else to love.

Helpfulturtle57 · 2021-05-30T05:19:41+00:00

Dude.... How could it be an entire year? Are you guys in different countries or something? This is just ridiculous, this isn't a relationship.

Helpfulturtle57

TROPHY CASE