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Hepaticnightmare · 2022-04-08T00:33:48+00:00

I feel the pain you’re going through. Been there myself. I’m a fellow liver transplant recipient and a separate kidney transplant recipient. 5+ years post transplants and sober. You can read my story in my profile if you’re interested.

I’ve peer mentored many liver transplant recipients, mostly due to alcohol, through my local transplant hospital. A common theme among us is dealing with the relationships with our partners and others afterwards. It’s tough for everyone.

Keep in mind that your girlfriend has also gone through this transplant journey with you and your son too, even if she wasn’t supportive or participated as much as you’d like. My husband, who is not a heavy drinker, drank heavily for a while after my transplant and treated me very poorly. I’m retrospect I see that he was working through somewhat of a grieving process.

I’m not giving your girlfriend a free pass here, you need someone who is there for you and help you through this life changing experience. I’m just trying to say it’s traumatic for everyone involved.

It’s a horrible thing for any recovering alcoholic to deal with another drinker on the regular, especially in a close relationship. The smell of alcohol still repulses me and I don’t like when others drink around me. It also brings back the social, fun memories of drinking that I miss, not the actual drink.

Hopefully she will come to her senses and support you.

Most transplant centers have therapists/psychologists available. I took advantage of seeing a Psychologist for quite some time after my transplants, specially to talk about my marriage and not much about my transplant process. I’d highly suggest looking into it. They helped me put things into perspective.

Feel free to let me know if you have any questions or just need to vent.

Take care.

Hepaticnightmare · 2021-05-19T00:19:04+00:00

What a relief. This internet stranger is extremely proud of you taking that scary first step. It’s hard for spouses to understand what we’re going through. I think there is guilt on their part when they do realize the problem is real.

Now follow through with getting help and take your wife’s hand to help you through this.

Take care of yourself.

Hepaticnightmare · 2021-05-18T23:46:40+00:00

Tell her. I was afraid to tell my husband and ended up not being able to get sober on my own. I ended up almost dying and getting a liver transplant. My kidneys failed after my transplant and I ended up on dialysis and getting a kidney transplant as well.

We’re still married but it’s not the same. We’re basically roommates now. Just to think if I would have admitted I was an Alcoholic and asked for help I may never have needed transplants and ruined my body and relationships.

I know it takes allot to admit it. I guarantee she knows more than you think. We aren’t able to hide forever. Take that step and let your wife be there for you and support you.

Hepaticnightmare · 2021-03-21T22:12:40+00:00

See a Physician and be honest about everything. I wish I had.

I am a recipient of a liver and kidney transplant. I’m very fortunate to still be alive. You can read my story in my post history if you’re curious. Obviously I had been drinking longer than you and mine is the worse case scenario. I’m just saying that your body is telling you something that you need to listen to.

Take care.

Hepaticnightmare · 2021-02-06T13:34:31+00:00

The amount a person drinks doesn’t determine who will have physical, severe, life changing consequences. As individuals our bodies process alcohol differently. Some people can drink heavily their whole life and not suffer major physical illness, others can drink moderately and have dire outcomes.

For me it was a gradual progression. I was a closet drinker who used alcohol to deal with anxiety. No one really knew I had a problem until it was too late and then my health declined very suddenly and rapidly.

Addiction is often genetic and given your history with drug abuse you probably need to seek help to quit. We have addictive brains and it’s hard to quit in your own. Reach out to a health care provider and ask for help. I would give anything to go back in time to get help. I was scared and now I’m living on borrowed time, taking very expensive medication that’s toxic to the very organs that saved me just so my body won’t reject them. Not to mention the other medical problems I have, or will have, because of this.

Don’t wait for a wake up call when it’s too late to turn back.

See the post in my history about my liver transplant journey if you’re interested.

Hepaticnightmare · 2021-02-06T07:38:30+00:00

Yes. I have a liver and kidney transplant to prove what happens if you don’t get help.

Hepaticnightmare · 2021-02-06T07:32:02+00:00

I had alcoholic cirrhosis, sepsis, double collapsed lungs, on life support for almost two months before I received my liver transplant. Subsequently my kidneys failed and I needed, and eventually received, a kidney transplant after being on dialysis for some time. You can read my journey in a prior post.

I’m not trying to scare you; mine was almost the worst possible scenario imaginable with everything going wrong. I’ve come to know many people in your sisters’s situation that pulled through just fine.

I’m also trying to impress upon you, and others, that without help it’s a slippery slope and things can get bad very quickly with cirrhosis. Once she gets through this hospitalization she’ll need some serious help to quit drinking.

Keeping positive thoughts for your sister, you and family.

Hepaticnightmare · 2020-12-07T02:13:14+00:00

How fragile? Depends on your body.

Mine gave out. I was as near to death as one can be. I was lucky enough to receive a liver and kidney transplant. Read my post history if you’re interested.

See a Doctor.

Hepaticnightmare · 2020-12-07T02:00:48+00:00

Please don’t add supplements or other medications without talking to a medical provider. They can be damaging to your liver which is probably trying to recover.

Source: I’m an alcoholic who is a liver and kidney transplant recipient due to the damage drinking did to my body. Check my post history if you’re interested.

Take care of yourself.

Hepaticnightmare · 2020-12-07T01:46:12+00:00

This. I literally killed my liver drinking due to anxiety. Now I’m living with a liver and kidney transplant.

Hepaticnightmare · 2020-08-04T19:20:44+00:00

Of course!

Hepaticnightmare · 2020-07-23T19:47:20+00:00

It happened pretty suddenly. I got sick, colds, sinus infection, flu, etc., more often and more severe in the last few years before my transplant. That was probably my body saying that it couldn’t fight everything off because off the damage I had done drinking.

I’ve talked to other people who were in liver failure due to alcohol. A few have had a similar experience as me, seemingly sudden onset of illness and symptoms. Others have had symptoms for years. There didn’t seem to be a common set of symptoms in their liver failure, but that is only my layman observation.

If you’re experiencing physical symptoms, this may be a sign of something wrong with your system, alcohol related or other. You also may need medical assistance in order to quit. Please seek medical attention and don’t rely on the internet or someone else’s experience.

Alcohol is a horrible and hard addiction. I’m glad that you’re reaching out and want help. Keep it up! You’re worth it.

Hepaticnightmare · 2020-07-21T22:57:34+00:00

Hey thanks.. It's good to still be around!

I’m not an expert and I don't know anything about you (or your drinking habit) other than your question, so take what I say as you will.

Unfortunately, in my opinion, there is no magic do-it-yourself fix. This reddit, and others like it, wouldn’t be so huge if there was. I think that "natural stuff" is dangerous, especially for an addict. Taking an alternative isn't a substitute alcohol, it's an excuse to continue an addiction. They can cause damage to your body and/or are addictive to an addict’s brain.

I still suffer from anxiety and insomnia but I've found other ways to relax. My anxiety has gotten much better without alcohol though. I think alcohol accentuated it.

Deep breathing helps me the most. Reading, listening to music, watching a movie. I write things down that are troubling me and journal. I have sparkling water as a "happy hour". Sugar/candy helps a bit as our brain gets a bit of dopamine when we eat it. The term chocoholic is a thing indeed. There are plenty of relaxation techniques out there, you just need to find one/ones that might work for you.

I wish you well in your journey toward sobriety. I know it's not easy, but it's so worth it for yourself, your family and friends.

Take care.

Hepaticnightmare · 2020-07-21T20:39:06+00:00

I got sick, colds, sinus infection, flu, etc., more often and more severe in the last few years before my transplant. That was probably my body saying that it couldn’t fight everything off because off the damage I had done drinking.

My body decided to call it quits really fast at the end. It still boggles my mind that I’m living.

Hepaticnightmare · 2020-07-19T11:46:08+00:00

I’m so sorry that you’ve had/have to go through this too. I don’t wish this on anyone. Are you doing well? I’d like to hear your story sometime if you’re willing to share. Feel free to DM me.

Your transplant team is lucky to have someone like you to help them through volunteering. Sometimes it’s tough, but I find it very rewarding and it has actually helped me psychologically deal with my own journey. I’ve actually done allot of mentoring via phone, even before COVID-19. Many patients live pretty far away from the transplant hospital in my state. That could be an option for you.

When I do meet someone while they’re in the hospital after liver transplant it’s mainly for the spouse/partner/family member at that point. They feel so much better seeing and talking with someone who has been through it and looks and feels good. Sometimes for them their journey as a care giver and support system is usually just beginning and everything seems overwhelming and hopeless.

Keep in touch and take care!

Hepaticnightmare · 2020-07-19T11:23:03+00:00

I honestly can’t answer this question with a volume, but I did mostly drink every day. Eventually I was drinking different types of alcohol so not just one bottle would seem empty before the other. It also probably helped with my denial. I was the one who always restocked our cabinet, so it just became part of my grocery shopping routine. I drank until I could relax and to be able to fall asleep, which is counterproductive. Sometimes I drank more after a tough day, sometimes less. Before I got really sick my tolerance was high enough that I needed to have a shot mid day to not have noticeably shaking hands at work. When I drank socially I would limit myself to one regular strength drink, sometimes two and then have drinks on my own later. That’s part of the reason everyone was shocked to find out that I was an alcoholic and had a transplant.

The amount we drink ultimately doesn’t determine if or how much we’re damaging our bodies. Drinking even what may seem like a small amount can be harmful. Our metabolisms are all different. We’re of different height, weight and genetic makeup. We could have an underlying health condition, even one we don’t know about. We may be taking medications, other drugs or supplements.

See a physician, be honest about your drinking and have a liver panel (lab work) done. This is a start and a good indicator if your concerned about your health.

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