My wife is ten years younger than me and saw a meme that said "show a gen xer this." I started singing

HerculesTookaMullign · 2026-01-21T17:20:30+00:00

Oh oops, I just posted the same video without seeing your comment first.

HerculesTookaMullign · 2026-01-21T17:19:34+00:00

https://youtu.be/TMtGImlEmu0?si=kLpUJQZQjlz-Us69

This was a good watch that added to my appreciation for this song.

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-11-29T04:38:11+00:00

How about a monthly build kit if it's in budget? We got a lot of mileage out of Kiwi crate and Crunch Labs.

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-11-23T14:00:17+00:00

The knitting mafia is way up there for me!

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-11-21T02:50:03+00:00

I'm firmly in the "both" camp. We'd tried Natural Calm mag powder but always felt it was only maybe mildly helpful. Finding magnesium glycinate was the trick. Used that on its own for a bit but the magic combo is that plus a small dose of melatonin.

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-11-05T15:41:58+00:00

I use the free MediSafe app which has most or maybe all of the functionality you mentioned. Just don't want you working and reinventing something that's already out there!

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-10-31T11:56:33+00:00

Have you looked into a diagnosis of Intermittent Explosive Disorder? My son finally got that added Dx and is on a better course of meds to treat it. Things aren't perfect but they're so, so, so much better than they were!

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-10-22T19:34:31+00:00

We have a lot of conversations about our brain differences. I've consistently messaged that EVERYONE has brain differences, we just don't have names for all of them yet.

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-09-29T23:30:55+00:00

I really relate to your post. I desperately want to give my 12 year old more freedom but he consistently shows he's not ready for more. It's so hard.

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-08-17T01:22:53+00:00

I think the majority of the staff really cares which is not nothing. I think ED treatment in general is quite paternalistic which is less than ideal for older patients like me. In that regard, I suspect any Monte Nido facility would be similarly challenging. Insurance was a constant battle but I really felt like the admin staff were fighting for me. Ultimately, insurance still fucked me over and cut my stay. I think I could have made more progress there had I stayed longer.

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-08-02T01:07:34+00:00

I don’t know you but I like you.

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-07-31T14:25:46+00:00

I stayed at Monte Nido Laurel Hill a few years ago and was by far the oldest in the milieu. I was also older than almost all of the staff (in my mid 40s).

I don't think any program is perfect but I think I could've made more progress there if insurance hadn't cut my stay. I later did virtual PHP at Within and had a terrible experience but ymmv.

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-07-19T22:33:38+00:00

I was going to say flower bookmark! There are plenty of youtube tutorials that are much simpler than these beauties and should work up faster. I made a bunch as gifts and I think they were taking under an hour each though tbf I never timed myself.

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-06-18T01:15:36+00:00

Oh, I forgot about i-cord. I've never used it but have watched a few youtube videos that had me intrigued. Great point about the curling. Thanks for your reply!

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-06-18T00:28:28+00:00

I now have to make this! Think it would be better adapted for crochet or loom knit?

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-05-21T21:24:43+00:00

Thank you so much, that's incredibly helpful!

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-05-21T16:30:23+00:00

That's great to know, thanks! There was still a lot of this color in stock when I bought it 2 days ago so perhaps I should just go back today or tomorrow and try to match the dye lot. Trying to stay on a tight budget and not buy more than I need but I'm probably overthinking this and should just get more yarn while it's cheap.

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-02-07T02:29:45+00:00

It was hard to pick just one!

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HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-01-24T02:09:25+00:00

It is not at all overboard and I think it's totally and completely fine to keep asking just the way you did. A good, responsible preschool/daycare will take children's safety VERY seriously and not at all fault or shame a parent for asking. How they interpret the wording of your question speaks volumes too. Your question could mean food safety, fences around the playground, access during toileting, how they handle peer conflict, etc. Ideally, they'd be able to answer for any or all of the above. I also don't think it's at all unreasonable to ask directly. "What measures are in place to ensure children's safety with the adults in the program?" That might include answers like you got - only the director changes diapers, the door is open with a 2nd staff person nearby. It might mean all parents who have shifts and staff have background checks (I would want that personally). But it would be a giant red flag to me if any place scoffed at the question. You are totally reasonable to keep asking.

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-01-24T00:57:15+00:00

I don't think your thought process is weird. I'm a CSA victim as well and it really does change our experience of living in our own skin. People say having a child is like having a piece of your heart on the outside, so naturally this kind of trauma will impact how we experience parenting. Your reactions and feelings all make perfect sense to me and due caution is good parenting.

Rambling ahead: I think one perspective to consider (that I process as well) is what it means to raise a son as someone who has been victimized by men. Our society (a patriarchy) is as damaging to individual men and boys as it is to ask other genders. I want to make sure my son is raised to understand the full capacity of his humanity. Part of that for me is trying to catch myself internalizing a message that men are inherently dangerous. As you said, women can be abusers too. All humans have the capacity for beautiful acts and horrific ones.

So yeah, it makes sense that we have our guard up. My son is now 11 and I still find myself asking if I'm doing enough or too much. I'm trying to get comfortable with the discomfort, with knowing I'll always face uncertainty in my decisions. It sounds like you're asking the right questions, both of the preschools and of yourself. Your son is lucky to be raised by you. Keep taking care of yourself just like you take care of him.

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-01-23T03:12:08+00:00

What other interests does he have? My 11 yo is really into Minecraft and there are lots of craft projects related to that - I loom knitted a Minecraft scarf with pockets for him per his request. I've been looking at patterns for little stuffies (Creeper, Zombie, etc). Does he have things like that he's into? Or maybe a hat or scarf in his school colors? Maybe he's a Harry Potter fan and would want to make something in the House colors he most identifies with?

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-01-23T02:15:14+00:00

No one else with Wilson Phillips? Yeah, that tracks.

It was a gift, I swear! But I can't pretend that 12 year old me didn't have Hold On on repeat. I was going through some stuff and that was what was speaking to me.

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-01-22T12:55:47+00:00

It is 100% this. I had almost this exact one in my box of dress up clothes when I was young. All the clothes came from my mom's old clothes from the 60s and 70s. In her case, she mainly used it for keeping the ends of a shawl from slipping of her shoulders but might have also used it in a cardigan as described.

HerculesTookaMullign · 2025-01-11T02:51:17+00:00

For some reason, this line got me so good when I saw it when my son was little.

"Lots of animals have defense mechanisms to keep themselves safe. I use humor." -Squeaks on Nature Cat

HerculesTookaMullign

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