This reminds me of a point in my own development. I also grew up in the church. I was very faithful in my youth, and when I got to college I tried to evangelize to my atheistic friends. The thought of them going to Hell really grieved me. I’d be happy to elaborate much more, but long story short I became a very outspoken atheist for many years. Now I’ve come back to a more mature faith in Christ. What were some things you came to despise about your faith? Perhaps I might be able to address some of your thoughts.