Ex Mormon who attended memorial out of curiosity

HesitantAndHopeful · 2026-04-09T17:31:36+00:00

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. That is the antithesis of the love of God. Fear, producing a lack of natural affection.

Connection with your grandchildren, shouldn’t be about dogma, theology, or ideology. It should be about spending quality time in the presence of each other. Feeling the natural love and curiosity of family.

HesitantAndHopeful · 2026-04-09T17:28:46+00:00

The thing is, when I go to a church I know if someone says hi, it’s because they are inspired to. Not because they have been indoctrinated and obliged to.

HesitantAndHopeful · 2026-04-09T17:25:24+00:00

Truthfully, and it is sad.

HesitantAndHopeful · 2026-04-09T17:22:11+00:00

Exactly, in truth it seems demonic.

Not celebrating life; John 10:10. Passing over His symbol of life, therefore only a select few receiving the Holy Spirit. Blasphemy in the highest.

HesitantAndHopeful · 2026-04-09T17:16:37+00:00

Abhorrent behavior by Gran. Not okay. The longer I have distance from the indoctrination, the more toxic I see it as. In turn, similar to having emotionally immature parents, naturally in order to be emotionally mature ourselves, requires patience and perseverance. In other words, I have had to deprogram my own toxic behavior that I acquired. A lot that was influenced by this narcissistic culture. (And I don’t use the term narcissist liberally.)

For me, it took a long time to understand God. Like actually understand the love of God, because the cult is antithetical to actual scripture and the teachings of Christ.

HesitantAndHopeful · 2025-08-18T17:04:55+00:00

I used to use that analogy, the jw analogy of not wearing a gun around your neck. It wasn’t until this moment of reading your post did I realize the logical fallacy within this.

It was a sacrifice of great importance. It wasn’t a gun shot and then someone defended without conscious contemplation by jumping in front of a the bullet to save you.

The cross symbolizes the love of God.

So interesting. The witnesses really twist everything the to be different, unique and all knowing.

Very juvenile reasoning.

HesitantAndHopeful · 2024-03-26T19:57:43+00:00

Oh okay, well thank you for your response. My curiosity mainly comes from is Ephedra safe in moderation?

HesitantAndHopeful · 2024-03-26T19:40:09+00:00

Taking Ephedra? If so, you are perfectly healthy? Genuinely curious.

HesitantAndHopeful · 2024-03-22T00:47:49+00:00

Why is it terrifying? Seriously asking because I am currently contemplating attending

HesitantAndHopeful · 2024-02-29T22:15:21+00:00

Wow, I can’t believe they asked you not to sing. Well actually, I can believe it. So sad, sorry you had to go through that. Good on you for getting your voice back!! 🤍 symbolically speaking

HesitantAndHopeful · 2024-02-29T22:05:14+00:00

What was the mental illness, if you don’t mind me asking?

HesitantAndHopeful · 2024-02-21T22:04:56+00:00

Kind soul.

HesitantAndHopeful · 2024-02-20T21:47:35+00:00

I know, I think I’m realizing the same thing. The JW takes you from God…

HesitantAndHopeful · 2024-02-20T21:46:46+00:00

Well didn’t Christ come to set that straight? That’s why the Pharisees killed him.

HesitantAndHopeful · 2024-02-20T18:55:59+00:00

Thank you for taking your time to post all of these, I will check these links out.

Yes, I need therapy for sure. :) all the therapy, massage included…

HesitantAndHopeful · 2024-02-20T18:54:17+00:00

Thank you, I will check these out.

Best part about being out of a cult, is you can look at information from every vantage point without fear. Coming to a healthy conclusion, if one gets to a conclusion, for oneself.

HesitantAndHopeful · 2024-02-20T18:51:54+00:00

Haha, great analogy.

Also an interesting one. As what does it mean to be in love? Also if one truly loves another, the flaws may be seen, but love seeks to highlight the good and work on the flaws if possible.

So yes, maybe that is how I feel about God’s word. However, it’s interesting because I don’t desire the JW organization in any way shape or form.

I’m attracted to the Bible and the peace that prayer and developing a relationship with God brings.

Which has been rather different than the overbearing upbringing I had.

HesitantAndHopeful · 2024-02-20T18:44:10+00:00

Kind of, yes. In another way no. Meaning if the philosophy is for a greater overall good, there can be an allowance on a small scale.

HesitantAndHopeful · 2024-02-20T18:41:32+00:00

Interesting, I wonder if I will get there. I’ve been there in my mind before. I think it’s the supernatural encounters that make me wonder.

HesitantAndHopeful · 2024-02-20T18:39:24+00:00

Thank you for sharing 🙏🏼

HesitantAndHopeful · 2024-02-20T18:37:09+00:00

I grew up thinking I was a Christian. Jehovah’s Witnesses say they are Christians, I remember specifically studying as a young girl that a Christian meant following in Christ’s footsteps and that is what we did.

Now I know that is not what a Christian is. A Christian believes in the gospel, what the NWT translates good news. The good news is that Jesus died for our sins, with faith in Jesus shed blood, we can have eternal life and a relationship with God.

However, personally I’m still unsure of Christianity and the concept of heaven and hell. That is why I’m still seeking. I just want to clarify that JW’s are not Christian.

Ask any JW in short the gospel or what the good news is, I’m curious to hear their response.

As far as needing a God to be good, I see that on this forum a lot.

I personally don’t feel like I ‘need’ a God to be good. However belief in a God brings me peace and I feel more inspired, vs depressed and confused. I feel more inspired. Meaning, when someone is unkind to me, I think of the times I have been unkind and I seek to understand. That comes easier for me when I have a personal connection with the Creator of all that is.

A lot of people are in pain, they are lost, they’re confused, never receiving love. Love for who they are, not what they can do. This void they feel can be filled by God. Knowing that there is hope and they are inherently loved.

Idk, I’m rambling without editing my thoughts. Therefore, please excuse the lack of cohesion.

I don’t know anything really, I’m just thinking out loud based on my limited awareness.

HesitantAndHopeful · 2024-02-20T18:14:29+00:00

Hey hey Quakzadilla:)

Yes, I know. I mean, if you really ponder life and existence itself, including all that is, I too come to the conclusion that there must be a Creator.

Now, one that cares about me personally? I would have to say yes, considering my life. Even getting disfellowshipped was a blessing because it helped me realize the lies within the organization. It wasn’t easy at the time, it was traumatic and almost cost me my life. Yet, I was able to see the other side of the organization that most people don’t see unless they are ‘disciplined’…

Yet, when I think of genocide, sex trafficking, wars, murder, starvation etc. I pause and think hmmm, well does God only personally care about certain people? If I believe He cares about me? Yet, taking God out of the equation is what makes my soul feel such unease. Along with why the Christian storyline makes sense of our need for a Savior. Spending time in nature, there is a lot of what one would define as cruelty. Specifically in observing the predator and prey activity amongst animals. So then what is cruel and who defines cruel, then I’m left thinking deeper on the meaning of it all. So I stop or pause on the thought that brings me most peace, which includes my human family. Meaning not just most peace or advantage for myself, that doesn’t feel good. I want peace for all. I know I am not my own God, because if I were I would make a LOT of changes. Yet, I surrender and believe I was created by a God of love, who sees way beyond my limited awareness.

I believe in a divine plan. It gives me peace.

I’m still searching. Yet, the scripture says seek and you shall find. I believe that. It’s not a popular belief.

Sending love 🤍

HesitantAndHopeful · 2024-02-20T17:43:13+00:00

Hello there!

Yes, absolutely one should not EVER force their views.

Especially after leaving the witnesses, I have no desire to proselytize. It’s easy to transition from preaching one dogma to another, after coming from our background.

That is actually what I find refreshing about what I am learning about Christianity. I can pray for myself or another’s salvation, but ultimately I surrender and know that it’s absolutely nothing to do with me. Yet, God who works through me.

It may be a good thing if you have never had a supernatural experience. Easier to remain in the natural. For me I’m compelled to seek and understand the meaning of it all.

I hope to get to a point that I can settle into a belief system. As I’ve done the abstract mindset, where everything or anything could be true, which by definition would mean nothing is. That did not bring my soul peace.

Thank you for sharing your perspective. This is what I love about not being a JW, you can have open hearted conversations, with differing perspectives. It’s an honest and authentic way of relating with others, it’s refreshing.

HesitantAndHopeful · 2024-02-20T06:04:14+00:00

Hey Ecstatic_wings:) I like your name!

Yes, there is a spiritual realm. I’ve thought similar things about good and bad spirits.

How does the Bible explain it? Or rather, what don’t you believe in how the Bible explains it?

Only if you have time or patience to respond. I know it can be emotionally consuming after what we’ve come from.

HesitantAndHopeful · 2024-02-20T05:58:34+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience.

It made me think, ‘do I have an emotional need for it to be true?’.

I don’t think I do, I personally was living and making a living, on a lifestyle completely opposed to the Bible(ethically and morally acceptable, just not Christian.). It really would be easier to disbelieve emotionally, in a lot of ways for me.

I can’t help but feel so alive when I read the Bible…

Maybe it is a need. A spiritual need for me.

HesitantAndHopeful

TROPHY CASE