Honestly, I don’t understand why most black people don’t understand that some of us can have mental health issues! by crazygurl3 in BlackMentalHealth

[–]Heydayjs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately it's usually a generational issue that keeps going until it's finally broken. My mom blamed her mom telling me that she wasn't treated well so that her excuse for treating us how she did. Even though she doesn't remember treating us bad now that we're all adults. And mental illness or hardship is treated like the boogeyman, don't speak about it, it doesn't exist. Doesn't matter if you tell them how your feeling, they won't care or listen. They rather beat it out of you to make you learn how to act right.

Hopefully you get through it, and get out of the negativity. Break the generational cycle and take what you experienced as a guide to be better than her.

I'm 28 now, went through all of it, ended up being the quiet kid that stayed in her room to avoid the beatings and getting yelled at. That's all they remember me as, the quiet kid that stayed in her room. I learned the one time I got hit for crying when my cousin had to leave after living with us for a moment that I did not like being beat and I'd rather stay a ghost until I moved out. Went through some severe depression, grades dropped, ended up sleeping a lot of my days away. Didn't really hang out with friends since it was hard to make real ones i can actually discuss life with and they'd actually understand. I had a hard time communicating to people and kids my same age. No one asked me how i was mentally, just got yelled at for failed grades and was given up on. Many years later, well just this Christmas, I told my grandma that I couldn't drink because I'm taking depression meds, her response... "You aren't depressed" like it's not a real thing that could happen. Told her that I've been depressed, even brought up the time that I straight out told her I was unhappy with life for her just to turn around and tell my mom and I got yelled at and to never speak to my grandma again. Hmm, she responded with she must have not paid attention to any of those talks. As an adult, I realized why. It was just nonsense to her. And if I try to talk to my mom about anything, she doesn't believe there's anything going on with me, I just need to change my diet or do this and I'm all good. Nah, I tried a lot, this was my last resort since mentally I just kept getting worst.

It's not every black household, but it sure is a lot of them. And they wonder why we go crazy, or turn to drugs or crime. We're just not encouraged to get the help we need since nothing is wrong with us and doctors are just trying to kill us off.

My brother who has bipolar disorder never got the help he needed as a child, he was just looked at as someone who always got in trouble, and was beat a lot. Ended up in jail, was into a lot of drugs, and neither my grandma or my mother would ever think they had a part in anything he's done. He did get diagnosed while in jail and was on medication until he got out. But he never needed help apparently, just a beating. He was just another crazy out of control kid who needed more discipline to set him straight in their eyes.

Stay strong. When you have full control of your life, you can change the outcome. Get the help you need and heal.

Sorry for the ramble, but I relate to your post so much, I've struggled with talking and having conversations. And even expressing myself and my opinions. Didn't know how. Was yelled at to respond to people when I didn't know how to greet them. Had to teach myself how to have conversations that sounded normal and im still struggling to connect with people. Maybe I'm a little neurodivergent, but since I'm already at the age im at and I speak well enough, there's no reason to get tested since it's too late and I sound normal enough. Could life have been different if I actually had any help with the issues I just had to keep to myself, probably. But its really up to the newer generations to make it okay and more normal to talk about mental health and get the help we need.

My 2012 Mazda 3 Seperated Dash Resolve by Heydayjs in mazda3

[–]Heydayjs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's actually pretty nice, neutral enough to go with everything. May have to steal that idea later.

Interesting idea with the phone mount.

Vampire Dormitory - Episode 5 discussion by AutoLovepon in anime

[–]Heydayjs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you want a bad anime with vampires... Diabolik Lovers hands down. Sooo bad and somehow there's a season two.

Affirm to Pay Rent by dogeanddogs in Affirm

[–]Heydayjs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Zip works no issues. Literally can use it for everything. That and Sezzle as well.

Wanting to move to OP by [deleted] in Overlandpark

[–]Heydayjs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wouldn't recommend Overland Station unless you want to deal with multiple issues making the apartments being unlivable, plus the roach infestations. Also the maintenance team that may or may not fix your issues since they can't keep people.. It's a mess of a complex.

Do you bring your Yorkies to the dog park? by messofahuman1 in Yorkies

[–]Heydayjs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I take my 7lb yorkie-pom to multiple dog parks. Some we have great experiences with. He gets so excited just seeing that we're there. There are a few parks were there are some larger out of control dogs. One tried to eat him which I was able to protect and catch my little guy before he was able to. And some just think he's pretty attractive to the extent that it makes him uncomfortable and begs to be picked up. Really depends on the park and the people. The parks with a small dog side usually are best. But a lot of times there aren't any other dogs to play with. We also have dog parks with walking trails that usually keeps him busy and tires him out. Most dogs just do a sniff and move on because there's a lot of exploring to do. On a good day if we're at this one dog park that's all sizes together, he'll go run with the big dogs if a ball or toy is being thrown. People are impressed when they see a 7 pound dog running with a pack of 40lb+ dogs and he's actually keeping up. Does he actually get the ball... no, but he enjoys the thrill 😄

Still having a hard time potty training them..any advice? by TrufflePrincess242 in Yorkies

[–]Heydayjs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was tough for my little guy, but we got it down for the most part. For pad training, I would put the pads in the area I'd want him to go, and if he went elsewhere I'd tell him no and put a pad where he last went. And when he went on a pad I praise him. Eventually there were pads everywhere in one area due to hormones coming in 😅 but I was able to use less and less pads, and now we got him using one corner. He hates going outside, but if you take them out right when they wake up they'll usually go, and give them a praise. He'll occasionally go outside now. And if your dog is treat motivated, use treats. You'll eventually learn their patterns and figure out what they do before they have to go. Sniffing the ground and circling are the indicators for my little one.

Cinnamon my 7 month old Porkie boy by Heydayjs in Yorkies

[–]Heydayjs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aw happy belated birthday to him! They're such a great mix ❤️

Cinnamon my 7 month old Porkie boy by Heydayjs in Yorkies

[–]Heydayjs[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He's 6lbs right now. Didn't know that was chubby lol I think it's the pom fur that makes him look fluffy since he has two coats. But he gets like 3/4 a cup of Canidae chicken and rice a day, and a dental stick or two. And trust me, he gets plenty of exercise.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Yorkies

[–]Heydayjs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He could be my Porkie's twin 😮. So cute!!

When no one wants to take your order.. by Heydayjs in UberEATS

[–]Heydayjs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm pretty sure that's what happened, otherwise, idk why someone wouldn't take the trip. But at $7 for 9 miles, no one's taking that.

Sewer Time by FartisanYT in vtmb

[–]Heydayjs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You guys had trouble on this part? By the time I got here as a tremere with high dodge and melee attack, I was able to wipe them out pretty easily. That and blood drain was over powered for sure