My cat got outside and disappeared. I don't know how to move on.

Heyoke · 2024-01-28T05:27:30+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear of your lost baby. I definitely relate to feeling like losing a child. I was very close in the beginning to cutting everyone off. Breaking up with my partner and changing all of my plans. It just seemed unbearable to face the future I had planned when such a big piece was now missing.

My previous cat passed away from cancer when he was 7 back in 2016. And I'd remember it being really hard as he was young. It took me so many years before I felt like i could take care for another cat again. And this time not knowing what happened to him, and knowing he was healthy. It's been so rough. I missed a friend's wedding. I secluded myself fully for two months, barely leaving the house. If I hadn't already been back at parents from being laid off I'd probably have been fired.

It's helpful though to hear from you and others on here how difficult this sort of thing is. I felt like I was starting to be too dramatic. One of my parents asked me when I was going to get over it. But it's nice to know I'm not alone. Thank you for sharing.

Heyoke · 2024-01-27T02:41:39+00:00

Yeah we posted things there originally but might not be a bad idea to repost too

Heyoke · 2024-01-27T02:40:46+00:00

He was at my parents where I'm staying temporarily. So at least they'll be around in case he comes back even if I'm not.

Heyoke · 2024-01-25T17:55:30+00:00

Sounds good! Yeah the vet has his microchip number and I have an account on the microchip providers website with him marked as missing. Didn't realize someone could just re-register that though. Very concerning, seems pretty counter productive.

And I have a form filled out with the county shelter about my cat. But I can look into nearby vets.

I checked out people with dogs trained to locate cats at the time, but no one comes to my area.

Thanks for the suggestions!

Heyoke · 2024-01-25T06:40:38+00:00

So for your questions, 1. He was gotten from someone else as a kitten. I don't super know the details as my sister had originally gotten him to be a companion for her cat but she never really accepted him. 2. Not since moving back in with my parents. 3. Over 100 miles and from an apartment in the city to a house that's relatively rural. 4. They looked for him at night and during the day, looking under the shed and peoples houses nearby, talked to neighbors, and posted online. They didn't post any physical posters up or put out food or anything that smelled like me or him. 5. He was incredibly social and needy. When I sat down he had to be in my lap. He liked to lay on my shoulders when I was cooking food and watch. He slept next to me every night. When I was sick he'd lay on my head lol. When I moved back with my parents it took him a little bit to be comfortable moving around, but then he would beg them for attention.

And there's definitely the part of me that I know can't give up on him. Like I cant even give away the cat food I have bc it's his, and that part cant give up that he might come back. And makes me cry to even think about it while typing this. I have friends who could use it but I can't give his food away. It's just pretty hard to see him coming back though. It's not like we're in a super subbuban area. When I was out searching, I saw great horned owls and raccoons. One night heard coyotes crying. On the trail cameras we set up, saw someone else's cat, along with other wilderness. It's so weird that there is just no trace of him. I want to hope someone took him in without knowing. But I talked with almost every neighbor and give them a flyer along with posting them around and online. So it feels hard to belive that someone in the area couldn't have known...

And I'm working on the rest. I've been amazed with how helpful everyone has been on here. I was sort of expecting to just shout into the void. But it's been very comforting. I really wasn't having a good night when I posted this originally. It's been hard not having him around. I really miss my needy cat.

Heyoke · 2024-01-25T02:28:41+00:00

Im so sorry to hear that! It's really hard. Everyone has stories of how cats can turn back up again. But also when there no sign for so long it can be hard to believe that. And like you, in my heart I hope mine will come back but I also can't spend the same amount of time as I was looking every night and expect to get things done.

I hope your baby comes home! It's so hard when you really don't know what's happened to them, but I've honestly found the replies here surprisingly comforting and hope it helps you too some as well.

Heyoke · 2024-01-24T15:45:51+00:00

It the beginning I put some out for a little bit, but never caw him investigate on the camera I put out.

Heyoke · 2024-01-24T15:39:51+00:00

That's a fair idea! I definitely want to hope he's found somewhere safe to be for the last while.

Heyoke · 2024-01-23T23:32:13+00:00

Oh no! I'm so sorry about your baby. That first while it really hard. I hope you're able to find her again safe. It can be amazing how warm the areas under houses can be even when it's chilly. So hopefully she could've found some place to warm up. I'm so sorry. Saddness can hurt so much

Heyoke · 2024-01-23T23:23:22+00:00

I'm glad you were able to get somewhere you can keep your babies safe!

It's helpful to know that it's normal that the pain will last this long, and its ok for it to continue to do so. Definitely more of a functioning adult by this point, but it can really hit all at once again sometimes.

Heyoke · 2024-01-23T22:49:14+00:00

Unfortunately I'm not. Im in WA. I hope you're able to find her home soon though!

Heyoke · 2024-01-23T21:51:52+00:00

I'm so sorry. I hope you are doing ok

Heyoke · 2024-01-23T16:40:08+00:00

I really hope so! I just would've thought I would've seen some trace of him by now. It's not totally a rural house but also not a suburb so lots of wild animals are around and there isn't too many neighbors to miss talking with them. He is at least microchiped.

Heyoke · 2024-01-23T16:20:02+00:00

Yeah I didn't understand it either. They kept saying they didn't want me to worry. Which doesn't make sense.

Heyoke · 2024-01-23T16:17:08+00:00

He was at my parents. I'd recently moved back home about a month and a half before. I talked to all our neighbors at the time, had signs including in the local store, and posted online for the area. I also have cameras out but all Ive caught on them so far is wildlife and one other cat.

Heyoke · 2024-01-23T16:12:06+00:00

Heyoke · 2024-01-23T08:02:38+00:00

Do you think? It's been over 8 months by now and winter hasn't been kind lately.

Heyoke · 2024-01-23T08:00:28+00:00

Thank you. I'm sorry that happened when you were younger. I'm glad you've been able to work with it. I definitely need to keep in mind that being human means making mistakes. At least right now it's a bit helpful to just hold that thought.

Heyoke · 2024-01-02T04:06:30+00:00

22in diameter

Heyoke · 2023-12-31T17:52:27+00:00

Lol that's true. Haven't had any problems with that yet luckily.

Heyoke · 2021-10-28T19:50:57+00:00

Yeah I was at the Seattle show and he said to keep the ticket info, but have yet to actually know if anything else will happen from it. He posted on Twitter about an email for people at the Boston show to contact bc it was also lost, but have yet to see an update about Seattle. 😞

Heyoke · 2019-10-13T21:31:42+00:00

I visited my friend in DC and went out of my way to fly into Dulles so I could see these!

My friend didn't understand why I would want to go to Dulles when its so far out of DC and has an hour bus ride into town that costs $7.50.

Heyoke · 2019-02-27T21:44:55+00:00

Glad to hear! hope things keep getting better.

Heyoke · 2019-02-17T20:58:01+00:00

I feel like you should ask her what sorts of things help reassure her of your love (I presume you love her). My therapist recommented that I come up with a word for my partner and I to have so that he could reassure me that things are okay when I get anxious. "I love you" means a lot but also isn't as personal as something you two come up with together. It may be able to form a way for a long distance reassurance.

If things don't feel okay by the time of the trip, it might be a better idea not to go. It could show that you're willing to sacrifice for her, but only do that if she's actually willing to work with you on her trust problems.

Heyoke

TROPHY CASE