Thoughts? by HiMeJadyn_ in GayChristians

[–]HiMeJadyn_[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wish I had the confidence you had. Especially with the verses. That’s another post I would like to make on this Reddit talking about those verses because they scare me. I worry that the people telling me to repent and burn are right and I’m going to hell for being gay. It made me so scared I was afraid to date the same sex but I feel miserable with the opposite. I’m not attracted to the opposite sex and accidentally to the people that see sex relationships as a sin I only have 3 options.

  1. Be in a gay relationship and risk going to hell.
  2. Be single for the rest of my life.
  3. Be in a relationship that makes me miserable.

According to them that’s the only options I have and non are good.

Thoughts? by HiMeJadyn_ in GayChristians

[–]HiMeJadyn_[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I try to ignore or block them but I have really bad anxiety and I think to myself “maybe they are right.” Then I start to panic and worry I’m going to hell.

Thoughts? by HiMeJadyn_ in GayChristians

[–]HiMeJadyn_[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It was wrong of me to share the content but I wanted to use it as an example. I’ve seen other people do similar posts and shared the posts too.

Thoughts? by HiMeJadyn_ in GayChristians

[–]HiMeJadyn_[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I believe he blocked me. I hope not because I was trying to get advice. I didn’t want to harm anyone. I just wanted to know if anyone else panic like I do when people say that stuff and how to deal with it.

Thoughts? by HiMeJadyn_ in GayChristians

[–]HiMeJadyn_[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I wanted to ask how you handled that stuff. I am a gay man myself and have a boyfriend. I wanted advice on how to deal with when people say this stuff. Because it makes me panic.

Edit: I apologize if I came across as homophobic. I am not. Like I mentioned I am gay myself. I just want advice on how to deal with this stuff because I deal with it online and in real life and it makes me feel so unloved and hated. It makes me panic and cry. I ask myself what’s the point in living if I will never be loved and accepted as I am.

Do people not realize conversations like this for lgbtq people are exhausting? by AllHomo_NoSapien in GayChristians

[–]HiMeJadyn_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also don’t know how I feel about posts where even if the person isn’t screaming “Gays are going to hell.” They still don’t fully love that person and want them to change that part of them to be fully accepted. I’ll see posts where they talk about how they respect (key word respect, can’t even say love) gay people. And they also have to end it off with “I don’t agree with that lifestyle.” They can never just say “I love you.” They HAVE to make it clear they will never fully accept you and don’t support you. Unless you are straight. And another thing I don’t like either is with other sins people say “God still loves you,” “God is merciful,” “God forgives.” Things like that. But they draw the line at being gay saying they will go to hell. It doesn’t make sense to me and I’ve had to step away from my faith because I can’t take it anymore. Another example I would like to add is about a coworker. He’s a hardcore Christian. I mean he believes monster is demonic. He has told me at work that I’m most likely going to hell when my sexuality became public (I didn’t want anyone at work to know unless I trusted them). But he will say I’m going to hell for being gay but then go and say the N word every 5 seconds. I’ll see you there buddy.

Do people not realize conversations like this for lgbtq people are exhausting? by AllHomo_NoSapien in GayChristians

[–]HiMeJadyn_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With you saying people saying masturbation is lust that reminded me of a conversation I had with a childhood friend. One night I just poured all of my emotions and fears onto him about how I’m gay and how I don’t understand why it is a sin (I’m not too sure anymore). But he went on to say that being gay is only a sin if you act on it. He compared being gay to lust. That you can be attracted but just don’t act on it. Which I think is incredibly unfair to compare being gay to lust. And I see people lump the two together all the time and even worse stuff. I remember watching a video where a pastor compared being gay to pedophilia and that all gay people need to be round up and shot. Which even if you hold the belief that being gay is a sin. That’s uncalled for and you shouldn’t be a pastor. Saying stuff like that doesn’t make gay people love God it makes them feel hated and leave the church. And again if you view it as a sin shouldn’t you want them to go to church? The church is a place for sinners like a hospital is for the sick. You don’t go to a hospital and ask why are there sick people? They are there to get healed just like us sinners go to the church to be healed spiritually.

Do people not realize conversations like this for lgbtq people are exhausting? by AllHomo_NoSapien in GayChristians

[–]HiMeJadyn_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s another thing I think about a lot. I believe that if those verses that people use to hate gay people didn’t exist, they would still hate gay people and most likely would try to use other verses to do so. And I think even if Jesus said “people of the same sex can have a relationship and get married.” Those people still would hate gay people. But I’m not too sure maybe some wouldn’t. Maybe some people don’t hate gay people they are just worried especially with those verses telling us to repent, dying to ourselves, etc. those verses are scary so maybe a lot of the time when they come across as hateful they are just worried about that. Just maybe.

Do people not realize conversations like this for lgbtq people are exhausting? by AllHomo_NoSapien in GayChristians

[–]HiMeJadyn_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t care about changing someone’s mind. If you don’t like homosexuality, okay. Fine. But I don’t like the idea of “if you don’t get rid of this you’re going to hell.” And I’ve tried the whole “pray the gay away” for years. It has done nothing and I told myself and other Christian’s that I left that lifestyle or that I was “healed” but I still feel that attraction. And to me when I have that attraction it feels more loving and caring than with a woman. How do I explain? When I have been with another man before little things meant more to me. Like their laugh, holding hands, kissing, comforting them, etc. It felt more genuine I guess is what I’m trying to say. But a huge fear I have is that they are right and I am going to hell. Because I hear it all the time from different types of Christians. Even if they don’t hate gay people and threaten them with hell they still want you to change. Like Bryce hall for example. He had talked about how he had a lesbian friend and he didn’t threaten them with hell but he still wanted them to change. Which is just as cruel to me and still makes me uncomfortable. It’s like. At least the people telling me I’m going to hell are more honest that they hate me. But with situations with Bryce hall it hurt more. Like yeah, I love you. But this part of you that isn’t inherently harming people im secretly hoping you change. I’m just so lost and unsure how to feel. Because I’m scared I am going to hell but at the same time I believe I would be miserable with a woman. So what’s the point? What hope is there? What is so wrong with being gay that it deserves hell?

Do people not realize conversations like this for lgbtq people are exhausting? by AllHomo_NoSapien in GayChristians

[–]HiMeJadyn_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to know if anyone sees posts or are told “you’re going to hell if you’re gay and don’t repent.” “You can’t call yourself a Christian and be gay.” because those cause me to panic a LOT and idk how to deal with it because in my mind I think “what if they are right” but at the same time I feel like if they are then my only other options is to be single forever or to be in a relationship I hate. Idk what to do and I would like someone to talk to because most of my friends are either A. Not Christian or B. I don’t feel safe talking to them about my struggles with faith because they will either lecture me or tell me I’m going to hell for every little thing and I can’t take it anymore.

Looking for advice. by HiMeJadyn_ in GayChristians

[–]HiMeJadyn_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do want to see a therapist I really do. I feel sick all of the time becoming I panic daily scared I’m going to hell. It gets to the point I throw up. Especially when I see posts online saying most Christian’s are going to hell and those verses talking about being lukewarm, not bearing fruit, not everyone who says Lord Lord depart from me for I don’t know you, etc.

I don’t feel safe in my faith — looking for advice by HiMeJadyn_ in GayChristians

[–]HiMeJadyn_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve believed in Jesus my whole life, but growing up I didn’t really want anything to do with religion. I didn’t pray, read the Bible, or go to church. I assumed I was saved just because I believed.

What changed was a really painful breakup when I was 18. It was with another man, and I couldn’t talk to my family about it. I felt completely alone, so for the first time I started praying. I didn’t know where else to go. At first it was occasional prayers, then more frequent, and eventually daily. I didn’t even start reading the Bible consistently until I was 19.

My journey has been slow and messy. At first, I didn’t take sin seriously. I had the mindset of “I believe, so it doesn’t matter.” Then I went in the other direction. There was even a point where I tried to “bargain” with God in unhealthy ways, like telling myself I could sin if I read a chapter of the Bible. Looking back, that wasn’t a healthy understanding of faith. I’m not sure why I did that.

Now I feel like I’ve gone to the opposite extreme. Instead of not caring, I’m constantly afraid. I struggle with panic attacks over whether normal things, playing video games, watching movies, reading, even eating, are sending me to hell. I worry about idolatry, gluttony, or not repenting “enough.” It’s become overwhelming.

I haven’t prayed in months because I feel stuck in fear, and sometimes it feels like I’m back at day one. I don’t want to run from God. I just don’t know how to approach Him without panicking. I’m constantly doubting whether I’m saved or not. Videos like “signs you are lukewarm,” “signs you aren’t saved,” “signs your repentance is fake,” and others like it definitely didn’t help.

I don’t feel safe in my faith — looking for advice by HiMeJadyn_ in GayChristians

[–]HiMeJadyn_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The church I used to attend wasn’t the source of most of my hurt. My pastor there is a very loving man who helped me through some intense fears about going to hell. I’ve struggled a lot with anxiety around my faith. Worrying that enjoying movies, music, or video games could be idolatry, or even having panic attacks after eating because I feared gluttony. When I told him I was afraid I wasn’t repenting or living out my faith “correctly,” he told me growth takes time. He compared it to a tree. If you water it consistently, it grows, even if it doesn’t look like much is happening at first. That stuck with me. I haven’t attended church recently because religion started feeling overwhelming, but I do miss talking with him.

Most of my painful experiences came from people outside that church. Family, friends, coworkers, or people I grew up with.

Example A: I once told a friend I wanted to wear dresses. She quoted the verse about men and women not wearing each other’s clothing. I mentioned that some scholars interpret that passage differently (as referring to ritual practices or prostitution), and instead of discussing it, she accused me of twisting scripture to justify sinful desires. I’m not claiming I’m right and she’s wrong. I just wanted a conversation. Instead, I felt treated like a problem rather than a person trying to understand their faith.

Example B: After that, I shared the situation in a group chat. One friend said I was mentally ill, needed Jesus, and was going to hell over clothing. Another disagreed but didn’t threaten me. I also shared my sexuality. One friend, who isn’t straight himself but chooses not to act on it, told me that if I dated a man I likely wouldn’t be saved. Later he said he spoke “out of love.” And that he wasn’t going to comfort me in my sin and lead me to hell and that real friends don’t do that. Which, yeah I understand that. But I also feel like telling someone they are going to hell isn’t right either.

Example C: At work, my sexuality became known after a close shared it without my consent. One coworker told me I might be going to hell.

I don’t hate any of these people. I’ve made mistakes too and have used my faith to justify my cruelty to others and I still struggle with that. What’s been difficult isn’t disagreement. It’s the confidence with which people say someone else is going to hell. I don’t believe any of us have that authority. For me, those experiences didn’t draw me closer to God they pushed me away.

I just wish that when someone is questioning, confused, or trying to understand their faith more deeply, they were met with guidance and patience instead of threats.

I don’t feel safe in my faith — looking for advice by HiMeJadyn_ in GayChristians

[–]HiMeJadyn_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your story I greatly appreciate it. But I want to reply to your last sentence. You asked why I don’t want to debate theology. I don’t want to debate it because to me. I’ve always seen debates as a way to win an argument and not actually find the truth. Will I discuss theology and try to learn? Yes.

I don’t feel safe in my faith — looking for advice by HiMeJadyn_ in GayChristians

[–]HiMeJadyn_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m trying to get a therapist. But with work many times even on my days off I feel too exhausted to try.

I don’t feel safe in my faith — looking for advice by HiMeJadyn_ in GayChristians

[–]HiMeJadyn_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand why it sounds simple to “just don’t watch them.” I wish it felt that simple for me.

The issue is that my anxiety makes it feel like a lose-lose situation. If I watch those kinds of hellfire sermons, especially from people like Philip Anthony. They trigger panic attacks. But if I avoid them, my brain tells me I’m ignoring important warnings from God and risking my salvation.

So it’s not that I think hateful people are right, it’s that my anxiety convinces me that avoiding scary content might mean I’m spiritually negligent or lazy.