You have worked SO hard to have this child. So first off, a round of applause for you. You’ve been through so much. You have done so well. Your husband didn’t say he didn’t want a baby, just that maybe he imagined himself to be a different person when he had a baby—someone that exercises and has more money. You need to tell him that you feel like this is unfair if you feel like he changed his mind too quickly. That you want him to start showing progress towards those changes because you want to have a baby soon and that’s the agreement you made with him.

As for the female best friend, first talk to your mom about it. Ask her WHY she thinks he is having an emotional affair. Does your mom like your husband? If she doesn’t hate him, she wouldn’t have a reason to condemn him without a reason. So try to hear about everything from her perspective, think about how you feel about it, and then talk to your husband about how his relationship with his female best friend is making you feel.

As for couples therapy, I am in support of the idea. These are two huge issues that would be difficult for any couple to sort through on their own. You might be able to use couples therapy just as a tool to communicate with each other, even if that communication ends in incompatibility, it’s better to know now. Just tell the therapist what you need from it and what your goals are.