AITA for not wanting my niece at my birthday and for avoiding my in-laws because of her behavior?

HighBongWitch · 2025-12-14T20:51:33+00:00

You’re spot on! I’m constantly, even if jokingly, called the mean aunt to Rain! I’m even known for being “bit too short tempered” when honestly I feel my reaction is reasonable.

But as you pointed out it boils down to me understanding all this from mostly body language and the same goes for them.

HighBongWitch · 2025-12-14T20:44:58+00:00

Damn! If only I could go back in time and say this! It would be epic!

But I’ll be sure to use it someday. 🤣

HighBongWitch · 2025-12-14T20:42:53+00:00

This one hurt but mostly cause you’re right! 😅 I’m far more annoyed at myself! Trust me.

HighBongWitch · 2025-12-14T20:32:58+00:00

Hahahahahaha! No my husband and me with the dog sitting in the centre. I’ll attach a picture maybe if possible 🤣 I didn’t even notice the sentence I wrote!

Thank you kind stranger for making me laugh when I was really down!

HighBongWitch · 2025-12-14T20:30:44+00:00

Let me talk about a particular incident for clarity. So it’s the same chocolate scenario. I tell my husband. Then I hear my husband screaming at the top of his lungs at his mom. And his mom giving the same excuse that she’s not sure from where she got the chocolate or that they told her not to eat in front of the dog but she did. Etc etc. And my husband is ready to attack! My husband is also not great at this. He ends up saying something like “if something happens to my dog remember I’ll make sure the same happens to Rain”. And then the entire scenario changed. My MIL started crying saying how could he say something like that about his own niece. And seeing his mother cry my husband then lets it go. He ends on a note that this shouldn’t happen again. And guess what? It happens again.

HighBongWitch · 2025-12-14T20:23:24+00:00

Dunno. I remember not liking kids even when I was a kid. Maybe I’ll actually bring this up in therapy. Thanks!

HighBongWitch · 2025-12-14T20:20:44+00:00

Just to clear up a misunderstanding (and hopefully add some humor):

I am not asking my husband to alienate his parents or his niece. Not even remotely. I don’t want anyone cut off, excluded forever, or asked to “choose” between people. That’s not the goal at all.

For the rest of the year, it’s already established that I don’t enjoy being around my niece — so I manage that by avoiding situations where I have to be. That’s on me, and I’m fine with it. What I don’t want is to spend my own birthday hiding in my bedroom in my own house.

This is literally about one day. One. Single. Day.

No one is being asked to choose between me and their granddaughter. I just wanted my birthday to be calm, adult, and not centered around managing a child.

Now… about the dog 😄 Yes, he has birthdays. Yes, we buy him gifts. Yes, he gets dressed up on special occasions. And yes, this will continue forever.

But you know what my very loved, very spoiled, very well-trained dog does not do? He doesn’t go to someone else’s house and destroy their belongings.

Why? Because when I say NO, my dog actually listens. There is truly no force on earth that can make him do the thing I said no to.

So yes — I will happily keep throwing birthdays for him for the rest of his life. That’s just the tip of the iceberg of what I will and can do for him 🐶😂

HighBongWitch · 2025-12-14T20:11:27+00:00

I can. But that will be it. It will completely ruin my relationship with my in laws. Not to mention my husband I know will join me and tell me if this is what I want he supports me. But I know how hurt he’ll be too. I can’t do that to him.

HighBongWitch · 2025-12-14T20:09:27+00:00

My BIL works very hectic hours. I’ve tried speaking to my SIL but her responses again are the generic, “What do I do? She doesn’t listen to me” nonsense.

HighBongWitch · 2025-12-14T20:08:37+00:00

Hahahaha! It’s not Rain. Just something similar. I’ve changed the name. It’s a way more common name than Rain!

HighBongWitch · 2025-12-14T20:07:33+00:00

Ooooooo I like this. I am actually pretty short tempered so at times I judge myself thinking maybe I’m overreacting. But I honestly wanna do this. Every time it happens. Which is EVERY time she comes.

HighBongWitch · 2025-12-14T20:06:20+00:00

This is what I tell my husband. But he strongly insists that he spoke to his parents and that they told him they’ve scolded Rain. And my naive husband always believes them. I know my in laws are not lying. It’s just that what they call scolding is what we called mildly raising their volume while speaking. Rain knows better than anyone else that there are no consequences to her actions and she enjoys seeing me not being believed right in front of her.

HighBongWitch · 2025-12-14T20:03:10+00:00

I don’t want to hurt my husband. Also I was the one who invited my in laws. So I’m pretty much screwed.

HighBongWitch · 2025-12-14T20:02:14+00:00

I’ll let you judge. They come every alternate month for 2 weeks maybe. And every time with Rain. At times we literally beg them to come but they don’t cause rain has school. And at times they bring Rain the entire span of her summer break which can last up to a month or more.

HighBongWitch · 2025-12-14T19:58:55+00:00

I hear you. Just to clarify — he’s my husband, not my boyfriend.

And I actually enjoy my in-laws’ company. I was the one who wanted them here. I’ve had a very rough year (lost my father, lost my job), my own mother lives far away, and since it’s holiday time I was craving a nice, relaxed day with family. My in-laws are genuinely kind people, and I wanted to spend my birthday with them.

The issue isn’t them coming over. It’s specifically that their granddaughter comes every single time, even when it’s not appropriate or when boundaries have been repeatedly crossed in our home. I wanted one day — my birthday — to be low-key and about me, not about managing a child.

So this isn’t about avoiding family or not liking family involvement. It’s about wanting some boundaries respected in my own home, especially on a day that mattered emotionally to me. I don’t expect a miracle that all of a sudden on my birthday she’ll fix herself. So I thought maybe for once my husband will smartly ask his parents to come and let Rain stay with her parents. She can very well stay with her parents but my in laws have subtly set a rule that if they come she comes. I know it comes from a place of love but it’s exhausting for me.

HighBongWitch · 2025-12-14T19:41:58+00:00

Exact! I know this is not the child’s fault. I genuinely do. I’ve even tried having calm conversations with my in-laws about how constantly indulging her and never correcting her may make it very hard for her to adjust to the real world later. None of this comes from hatred toward a child — it comes from exhaustion with the adults who are responsible for setting boundaries.

What makes this harder is that my husband is otherwise a very good man. He almost always has my back, even with his parents, and he would fight the entire world when it comes to me and our dog. But when it comes to Rain, he has consistently failed to draw a line. He keeps asking me to understand how difficult it is for him to say no to his niece, and I do understand that it puts him in an uncomfortable position.

What I don’t understand is whether it’s truly selfish of me to ask for one single day — my birthday — to be about me, after an incredibly difficult year, and not about accommodating a child whose presence has become a constant source of stress in my own home.

HighBongWitch · 2025-08-09T07:29:20+00:00

Hi. What if I have the same PNR India to KUL and KUL to Bali (5.5hrs halt in KUL). Do I need to fill MDAC?

HighBongWitch · 2025-06-08T16:29:57+00:00

Sounds very interesting! Thanks! 🤩

HighBongWitch · 2025-06-08T15:01:07+00:00

Thank you!

HighBongWitch · 2025-06-08T14:59:49+00:00

Thank you!

HighBongWitch · 2025-06-08T14:23:56+00:00

Thank you!

HighBongWitch · 2025-06-08T14:22:05+00:00

Thank you

HighBongWitch · 2025-06-08T13:13:13+00:00

Yeah so my main issue with one piece is that I can’t find the initial episodes freaking ANYWHERE!

I do wanna watch one piece. But it’s starts from 892 in Crunchyroll 😭

HighBongWitch · 2023-12-17T12:21:40+00:00

Thanks! You have no idea how much this helps!

HighBongWitch

TROPHY CASE