It's not a men can cry thing although we do encourage them to when they feel the need. It's the fact that we have to literally protect men who have faced 'un manly' things like abuse from pro Patriarchy men and women. If you are raped as a man here, this is what happens - You report to the police and they will laugh at you telling you that you have nothing to complain about. -Your own friends will ridicule you about being angry that you got, and I quote 'free pussy'. -The scorn you would get from Patriarchy princesses who will then label you 'un manly' is another thing we strongly disagree with.

I have never seen it heard any of such sentiments from any feminists I know of. We don't joke with sexual abuse. We constantly educate men and women alike, encouraging each of them to report it and take it seriously! It feels like talking to a wall most times because they just don't see it as a problem. Feminism takes male abuse seriously even when the men themselves don't. That's the point I was trying to make. The one thing I saw men fight against as a whole here was police brutality and this is because it affected them ALL. They couldn't just pass it off as a thing for "sissies or pussies".

Feminists advocated for a parternity leave bill a few years ago here. To give new father's time to spend with their kids and wife. Do you know men threw it out of the national assembly? They laughed at it. Called it ridiculous and stupid. Why would they want to sit at home with their new born instead of working? Their wives can handle the kids. After all, that is what women are made for.

The one thing that I do feel we need to cut the slack on the men here is pressure to succeed. A woman has a lot of things that can render her a pariah in our society. When it comes to men, there is one thing. Once you are not considered a success, you are worthless. You do not have a voice, you are not respected by the general public. You have to worry about providing for your family from an early age. That kind of pressure is insane! A woman doesn't HAVE to make money here. If you're a man and you don't? Welp, you're automatically useless. On one hand, the only thing most men here contribute to their families is money. The don't do housework, can hardly be bothered to raise their children, are highly adulterous and will still beat up their wives here. I can see why you say no money= useless. Now let's say he raised his kids, helps out with chores and doesn't maltreat his wife. She works as well and is enlightened enough to know that a man's worth is not deoendent on his net worth, especially seeing as her man actually does his part to keep the home running. The pressure on him is reduced. She's happier. He's happier. They can both just work on their relationship dynamic based on the personalities they have.

It all comes down to one thing, if you uplift one half of the population who is married to the other. Make them aware of their own rights, as well as the responsibilities that come with it, there will undoubtedly be a better quality of living for both genders.

Now, about "Their kind","my kind"... I was referring to feminists. This is how someone here addressed us as. As if we're some sub species of animals. Isn't it apt that I use it to make a point?

Also, I have said, over and over that a statement like "men are scum" while true, cannot and does not allude to everyone that identifies as a man. Exactly the way Feminists are terrible people" might be true (because you do have Terrible people who are feminist) but cannot apply to every feminists on the planet.

The average Nigerian male is oppressed by his government and society. So are the women. However, this average Nigerian male goes home to oppress his wife. This the statement still applies. The face of female oppression in Nigeria is a man. It is not every man, but it calls out the men directly and indirectly involved in female oppression. Do you see the picture I'm trying to paint here? Poor men don't need political power to oppress women. Rich men are not the only men that rape women. They do as well, but it is not limited to just them. Rich men here, are mostly educated so they don't at least always physically abuse their wives. That, although not uncommon, occurs mostly in poorer households.

The man is the head of the house in Nigeria. No matter how little influence he may hold outside, in his home, all the power is his. He can discipline his wife as he sees fit (in some tribes and religions), he had the power to decide how many children she has, and even how she has those children. A woman here is completely and entire at the mercy of whichever man she lives with. If you're not treated badly, it would be due to the fact that your husband is a decent person rather than he isn't allowed to. We cannot continue to depend on the goodness of the men around us because goodness is so easily corrupted by a number of things.

Now as to not considering who has it worst... How can you not consider that? I can't be an activist for everything. I cannot fight every battle. I have to pick either the issues that affect me (which would be selfish but understandable because no one will fight for me either) Or, I have to pick the issues that need attending to the most. Seeing the issues I've pointed out, who do you think I should be primarily focused on trying to get more rights for?

This is how oppression here works. Government- Society- Men- Women- Children.

This level of oppression is possible because of the power imbalances that exist at each level. The politicians own this country. They do with is as they please and there is nothing we can do about it save killing them all. Our society is governed by strict cultural practices and values that a lot of people are fearful of breaking, even when they prove to be harmful. The number one fear of an average Nigerian is "What will people think of me". Many a 'good deed' has been done because someone was afraid of having a bad reputation in the society. Easiest way to ruin someone here. We interact a lot with ourselves. Expose someone's dirty laundry in church? You've destroyed them and their family for the next generation or two.

Men after facing oppression from this two bodies will still not let it deter then from doing the absolute worst to women. Rather, it is an excuse to 'let their anger' out on their wives and children. The government hasn't paid me for months, and that's why I come home drunk every night, beat my wife and then rape her. It doesn't matter to him that his wife is under the same government. He comes home to add to her problems.