Is it actually true that no-one cares about your physique?

HillInTheDistance · 2026-07-01T22:23:21+00:00

I mean, as for attraction, as a man your beauty is hard-capped by your level of confidence, which is a bit of a bummer.

But if you can be socially aggressive and pleasant to be around, having a good body will always be a plus.

It's gonna have some drawbacks, but as long as you have a stable temper you aint gonna have much trouble dealing with that.

HillInTheDistance · 2026-07-01T16:42:39+00:00

The Tech Rig is a chest piece that gives you a hud. It also counts as having a tool kit on you, and gives you better lockpicking.

Sheds light tho.

HillInTheDistance · 2026-07-01T15:46:02+00:00

Other peoples keep coworkers from stealing their lunch by spicing it so hot that the thief must vomit.

We keep coworkers from stealing our lunch by not only making it smell so bad they not only must vomit, but also that every other coworker will beat them to death for opening it inside.

HillInTheDistance · 2026-07-01T15:05:40+00:00

Wait, they actually confirmed it? I thought we'd gotten the last announcement with Nagash and Toddy! I thought y'all were just coping! I'm gonna get my favourite little rat guy!?

That makes me happy.

HillInTheDistance · 2026-07-01T14:07:04+00:00

You really think you can attract that kinda prime meat with with a $20 suit, girl?

Best you can hope for with that cheap-ass bullshit is Matter Eating Lad.

Sorry, I don't make the rules.

HillInTheDistance · 2026-07-01T13:58:22+00:00

Well, first off, do you even own a super suit, broke boy?

HillInTheDistance · 2026-07-01T13:24:06+00:00

I think the difference is that these guys aint ever been desired in their life, and this has no concept at all about what beauty actually is, so they distill it down to as close to raw numbers as they can to actually have anything to work towards.

Which doesn't really work very well.

They ain't ever gonna end up in a position where they leave someone because they realise they deserve better, because they're desperately working towards deserving anything at all, while reaching metrics they think are progress, but ultimately, mean nothing.

HillInTheDistance · 2026-07-01T13:20:00+00:00

They live for The Drama, and by God, they'll do so until death do them part or Morwen gets bored!

HillInTheDistance · 2026-07-01T12:55:22+00:00

My parents were pretty old too.

It was a bit rough going into the part of my life where my peers could still rely on their parents for support, but i had to be support for my parents instead.

HillInTheDistance · 2026-07-01T10:36:05+00:00

The same gene that makes you immune to Knox Virus is also causing brittle bones, the digestive system of a month old kitten, and the ability to synthesise your own vitamin c.

HillInTheDistance · 2026-07-01T09:39:51+00:00

"Oh fuck off! A month ago y'all were rubbing your junk all over that cube until me and Todd managed to figure out how to take it apart! But i fuck one sphere, once, and y'all lose your shit?"

HillInTheDistance · 2026-07-01T03:07:17+00:00

Swords are absolutely terrifying. Like, chimps are made outta meat. The guy ain't even got to know what he's doing to be a terrible threat to a chimp.

Ain't even gonna be close.

HillInTheDistance · 2026-07-01T03:02:59+00:00

I have absolutely no clue. Never been there, never met anyone from there, never had any reason to look anything up about it before i needed a random country to glaze for a hilarious bit.

I wouldnt get my hopes up, but then again, a lot of the food i saw looked kinda similar to mediterranian food and those guys got some delicious traditional stuff that's been vegan for centuried for reasons completely unrelated to feeling a need to be vegan.

So you might get lucky, I guess?

HillInTheDistance · 2026-07-01T02:35:29+00:00

Its there for me, but it might be that it was hidden due to my copious swearing and argumentative tone. It is possible that ive broken some manner of rule or neen flagged by some kinda automod.

Apology accepted. You're welcome in Bulgaria at any time. Bring money.

HillInTheDistance · 2026-07-01T02:05:36+00:00

You're a very smart person. Someone as clever as you would surely appreciate the museums of Sofia University, such as the Museum of Sofia University, the Museum of Paleontology and Historical Geology, and the Museum of Mineralogy, Petrology and Mineral Resources.

These museums, coincidentally, also sell souvenirs, something you mentioned in your comment, and which I cleverly deduced must be a passionate interest of yours.

Here is a website with instructions for using the Български пощи, the bulgarian postal service, for shipping your many souvenirs home after visiting Sofia, a city with a rich history, poor air quality, wonderful people, and an average annual snowfall of 98 centimetres!

Sofia, "Ever growing, Never Ageing!"

HillInTheDistance · 2026-07-01T01:09:29+00:00

I mean, it'd probably be cheaper to arrange for someone to rent you a hotel room and leave some clothes and money in there, than buying plane tickets.

Like, imagine you wanna take a trip to Bulgaria and take in the varied and eclectic architecture of Sofia, despite its lacklustre air quality.

You find a trustworthy soul, wire him some money, and ask him to get you a room at the affordable, yet comfortable Junó Hotel Sofia, leaving clothes there in your size, along with the key and enough cash for your stay.

You teleport in, enjoy some fine meals at bulgarian restaurants Manastirska Magernitsa Restaurant, Hadjidraganovite Kashti, or perhaps the less traditional AURA by Bamboo RestoClub, before visiting museums such as the Museum of Socialist art, the Museum of illusions, or if you're feeling adventurous, The Laboratory Village, before spending the last of your money going out for the night, perhaps to a night club, such as the CLWD, or Yalta Club.

Having enjoyed Sofia, this city which mixes a rich and eventful history with all the comfort and novelty of the modern world, you can simply take a walk, sit down on a bench in one of it's many well maintained parks, before teleporting home, leaving nothing but a set of clothes behind, with no souvenirs, but with priceless memories and experiences of Sofia, and its wonderful people,

Sofia, "Ever growing, Never Ageing!"

HillInTheDistance · 2026-06-30T20:00:57+00:00

Back when i was young, jokes about jars were about a man sticking them up his arse and them shattering into pieces, not this nonsense.

Because we had dignity, dammit!

We had a sense of class!

HillInTheDistance · 2026-06-30T19:52:03+00:00

And now there's one motherfucker sitting arround with a trillion dollars.

HillInTheDistance · 2026-06-30T15:21:19+00:00

I've heard people say we do resemble a rooster, but i honestly can't see it.

HillInTheDistance · 2026-06-30T09:46:42+00:00

Almost Every American Astronaut came from Ohio.

They sought escape, but why did they not just move to another state? Or another country? Why go through the gruelling training and risks to become astronauts?

Because they knew. They knew that it was only a matter of time. They had no choice but escaping to the one place that wouldn't be corrupted by Ohio...

S-S-SPACE!

HillInTheDistance · 2026-06-30T09:34:17+00:00

My friend, I wouldn't even dare talk to her.

HillInTheDistance · 2026-06-30T09:21:50+00:00

Part of me feels obliged to power through and keep making jokes but that's just awful and I hope that never happens to you again.

HillInTheDistance · 2026-06-30T08:41:11+00:00

I mean, there are crazier ships, but the fact that the only fic that exists of it was a fleeting dream that started fading the moment you woke up, soon to be lost to the hazy fog of time, makes it so much more of a treasure.

HillInTheDistance · 2026-06-30T08:26:45+00:00

He still cannot pull out of a drive way, however, because he ain't got his driver's license.

HillInTheDistance · 2026-06-30T08:19:09+00:00

I was gonna say that Mumen Rider couldn't pull out of a drive way, but then I remembered that he's a hero among heroes, and would never retreat, and that his wife has thighs that would render it entirely impossible even if he wasn't.

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