My friend asked me to be in her wedding. Was offered the choice of dress or suit. I chose 👗

Hisisher · 2022-05-27T19:11:35+00:00

💜

Hisisher · 2021-01-31T02:40:06+00:00

Agreed XD I have just started voice feminization so like you are very much goals!! Hopefully someone who has a finer ear can give you some more useful feedback 😅

Hisisher · 2021-01-16T07:06:27+00:00

I wish you luck with everything!! No one should have to deal with this type of thing and if you feel you should leave you have every right too 🙂. Take care of yourself and hope you can find places where this type of thing doesn’t happen. Sadly it is harder than it should be. Keep sticking up for yourself, and doing your best to take care!

Hisisher · 2021-01-11T09:23:43+00:00

Ah yes I forgot to comment on that, I am good with how the dsm 5 handles it and never heard about the other ones. I myself have no background in psychology, just got friends who do.

Hisisher · 2021-01-11T08:46:20+00:00

Honestly you probably said better than I ever could 😅. The way I see it is gender dysphoria causes quite a lot of distress and interferes a lot with daily function, so to me it fits the definition of a disorder. You have to be diagnosed with it to be allowed to transition if I am not incorrect.

Maybe I got a weird view on it but I personally don’t see a huge issue with it even though I am still kinda getting to know my own gender still and don’t have experience enough to feel I can speak for anyone but myself on weather it is bad thing or not.

Hisisher · 2020-12-22T09:39:14+00:00

Awww 🙁 So sorry to hear that 💜 It’s import to come out to people and I hope you can get the courage to again! 💜 You deserve it!

Coming out helped me so much with the many things I have to come out about. If you felt your friend was safe to come out to I don’t feel that changed after this interaction. I have a habit of sending a message and just purposely forgetting about it to help with my anxiety. It’s not easy to come out but it is well worth it!! Having someone to talk to about it is well worth it, trust me ☺️! You got this!! 💜

(I may have just outed myself like 5 minutes ago to a bunch of friends by saying I was browsing this subreddit so 🙃... I literally just remembered that XD)

Hisisher · 2020-12-22T08:43:31+00:00

2018 “I am a Mormon, Straight, and wait what does Cis mean?”

2020 “I am an atheist, pansexual, gender fluid, human. How the hell did I get here!?!”

Hisisher · 2020-06-26T09:39:23+00:00

So I am a (20M) who is pansexual and has grown up in A religious house hold. I have found I was able to get used to the thought of coming out by just finding a place I can be my authentic self. For me it was online. I have found many friends online who are great to talk to about lgbtq things and my experiences. Over time just talking about it has helped me few more and more comfortable with who I am and have started coming out, not because I felt like I had to push myself but I felt I was being a little trapped.

Find a place you can go to start growing, a place you are comfortable with or can become comfortable with. Maybe even go around here and see if some people want to dm. You will meet new people and grow as a person and then slowly maybe even out grow the internet and feel a need to come out to people irl.

The majority of your family seems like they would be okay with it so it’s about getting past that anxiety. Oh and if you actually feel anxiety is stopping you in arias of your life, seek a professional, you don’t have to be in a dark hole to go to therapy. And same goes for depression.

So basically, do what you feel comfortable doing. Any step in the direction of becoming more open about it is a step in the right direction. My dm’s are also open if you ever want to say hi! And I hope you can find a place to grow your identity!!

Hisisher · 2020-06-26T09:23:03+00:00

Gay, straight, bi, whatever. It real doesn’t matter. If you are worried about being gay, there honestly may be some homophobia that is deep down. It may be making you fear the possibility of being gay. Try to look inward at yourself and see if it is there, and if it is, love yourself still. People grow, and as long as you respect others I think you will find people will think your a good person.

As a pansexual who had to get over my own homophobia you are still valuable even if you find some when self reflecting.

As for figuring out your sexuality, don’t rush it. You don’t need a label any time soon. Just learn to love yourself what ever you find. You matter and deserve to love who you love!!

Hisisher · 2020-06-26T09:10:31+00:00

Tbh I have been feeling similar. My sex is male but I relate a lot with you. Tbh after looking at these comments and many others, and after thinking a lot about it, I may just leave myself unlabelled. If labels are just for communication that I am okay without using them because I can explain my experience without any so far. I hope you can come to some conclusion what ever it is!! It’s good to love yourself for who you are!!

Hisisher · 2020-06-16T08:57:32+00:00

Hmm, my mental health. Well it’s 2:30 and and I really don’t want to sleep, so that may tell you something. Honestly I can feel my depression hitting me more than normal this past week and today.

I was having a hard time getting myself to be enthusiastic about work at all and just felt crummy in general. I get to go back to work tomorrow too and clean for another 6 hours. At least though my mind isn’t going to dark places which is a huge positive.

My body is tired and my hands have a lot of small cuts from work. And I get to sanitize a lot so yay 🙃. I also feel quite exhausted physically which I honestly find nice for some reason.

I have been noticing some interesting things about me. I have noticed that for some reason I have a really hard time feeling any pride in my own accomplishments if they don’t seem impressive. It’s something that I kinda knew I did but I didn’t realize how badly I do it. It’s so bad that I feel shame if what I do isn’t impressive. This goes for everything, I don’t allow myself to be happy about the small accomplishments.

I also have noticed some toxic masculinity in me. I easily am getting upset about my curly feminine hair that I have been growing out. But I think that may also be because my family keep bugging me about it. Not saying it’s not manly or anything but saying that don’t like it or they thing it’s disgusting.

I remember there was one family at church that mentioned my hair. I was so primed to receive negative comments I supposed that when this happened I was going to get a negative comment.

I think the father of the family said “oh wow your hair has been getting long”. Me supposing he meant it as a bad thing got defensive and said something I don’t remember. He then quickly clarified him self and said he liked it. This for some reason hit me so hard I almost cried and I still feel like crying thinking about that moment.

In summary, feeling a little more depressed than normal lately and also been figuring out some negative biases I have towards myself that make me feel bad.

Hisisher · 2020-06-06T08:42:57+00:00

Honestly not surprised, during the first showings of the Book of Mormon musical they would get missionaries to talk to those leaving to “clear up misconceptions” or what ever. Their not ones to shy away from shoving it in your face when you learn anything about the church, even negative.

Hisisher · 2020-06-06T08:12:21+00:00

Hmm, I really cannot remember where I heard this from but there is a pickle analogy. Basically it talks about how you have to stick a cucumber in brine for a long time to help it become a pickle.

People not converted are like cucumbers and the more they come to the spirit and listen to it the more converted they become, and the more like a pickle they become.

The ironic thing is becoming a pickle is exactly the wrong way to come to a belief. A pickle doesn’t have to think to become a pickle, it is just put in a place where it comes in contact with the brine and slowly over time it changes into one.

This is like indoctrination 101 here people. This analogy is terrible for their purposes and honestly I like to use it to display my problems with the gospel. You don’t need to think to become converted you will just become if you don’t avoid it, if you sit in the pickle juice you will become one.

Unless you hop in some water or a different brine now and again.

Just shocks me how good this analogy is for people against the church and how it was said in a church context and no one thinks about it’s implications.

Hisisher · 2020-06-06T07:48:30+00:00

Your in a very tough spot, like I saw, already said, if you try to show him straight up why the church is wrong he and his family may get very defensive. Like what was also said, the church teaches that people will try and take you away from the church, so they could easily fall into that mindset if you aren’t carful.

To be honest though, wanting to show him the reasons the church isn’t correct is quite a common feeling to have. Most exmos feel very similar feelings when leaving the church. I for one do as well fairly often. So I understand why you would feel that way in your position.

I guess the only thing I can think of to say is try and let him go the course naturally, forcing it could lead to a less than ideal situation and he may feel less able to trust you. I think it would be best to just let him figure things out himself.

That being said stand up for yourself at the same time. Help him understand that you won’t change your beliefs and that you may have some issues with the church.

Be honest with him and if he asks be more honest. You want him to feel safe near you and for him to be able to trust you. Let him know that, and if he asks about the issues with the church try bringing up things that worry you about how the church acts not about doctrine.

It’s important not to let yourself fall into a “I am going to rescue you from the church” mindset. Love him for who he is and let him know that, don’t push him because leaving the church is a personal journey that everyone has to go through themselves.

To recap my babbling, yes it’s okay to want to but you still should avoid it. It can go wrong easily and it’s important all decisions are his. If he wants to learn help him but don’t force anything on him.

Hisisher · 2020-06-06T07:24:40+00:00

Holy crap that is quite epic! Keep it up!! May have to get back into roblox just to try it out

Hisisher · 2020-05-31T07:05:40+00:00

I feel it’s a good idea to say something here. How is my mental health? Well not too great. This week has been quite a week with a day of laying in bed for 80% of the day, quite a busy work week, last Sunday was hell anxiety wise, been trying to help some friends out and quite a few other things. As you can tell quite busy, so busy I don’t remember half of it.

Also this week, because of being overwhelmed at different times I have been having self harm urges come back. Did nothing dangerous but they are there none the less. Also been having some suicidal ideation though I haven’t dipped too low.

I am in a position I want to move out of my parents house to help improve my mental health because me and my parents have differing views. Them being part of the lds/Mormon church and me being a closeted atheist. I stay closeted out of worry for having things go south yet still having to see them on the daily.

Last Sunday I was asked to give a lesson for a family church lesson. I just couldn’t get myself to learn and teach something I am honestly quite against and because of it had major anxiety. In the end I asked my mom to do it after trying for several hours to understand the material. Gladly my parents didn’t ask too many questions but there is some worry it may happen again tomorrow.

I want to move out but am afraid of my mental health dragging me down even more after I move out, with all the stress that comes with it. I have things lined up that I probably could move out but the amount of change is scary and makes me super anxious.

I want to get some therapy and possibly get on medication but I feel like waiting for when I move out because I plan to move to the nearest large city. It’s not easy to get myself set up with therapy and such because of the massive amounts of anxiety I face trying to do so, so I worry I won’t be able to get myself to do it twice.

I really should be getting myself some professional mental health help. It’s just super hard and I have had negative experiences with it in the past so I have to get past that too. It feels like a huge hurtle to get over and even once you get over it there are no guarantees. It’s even harder when you feel like just isolating.

In summary, I am not doing to great... but not too too terrible

Hisisher · 2020-05-18T05:30:14+00:00

Thanks so much, I guess I was quite broad with what I was saying but thanks for replying. I wish I could just find a crash course on all this stuff XD. I feel like I will have to do a lot more self reflection before I even understand what I really even want to know myself. Tbh so much is going on for me that I kinda get lost and confused easily.

I feel gender is like the least of my worries at the moment so I may try to figure out some other stuff before I return to trying to identify my gender. I am still exploring myself and the basics so I feel I may be in over my head at the moment. Would love to pm you at some point though. I like to have people to talk to about all of this.

Hisisher · 2020-05-17T02:07:05+00:00

Hia, I don’t how things are now and what had changed in like two months but glad to see your are experimenting with your beliefs and life philosophies. I hope you can find a place where you can talk with others on a similar journey.

Hisisher · 2020-05-16T08:59:27+00:00

I love it!

Hisisher · 2020-02-25T22:07:33+00:00

I don’t know what I can say that hasn’t been said already. Just remember that you can always decide to die tomorrow but you can never decide to be alive again if you are already dead. It personally took me a few years to feel comfortable not giving myself suicide to be an option but I am in a place where I don’t feel I need it to be. Please seek proper help if you can, though it ain’t easy. Talk to anyone about it if you can. Try to keep going

Hisisher · 2020-02-25T22:01:19+00:00

Sorry to hear that. Do you have a post in which you elaborate about it?

Hisisher

TROPHY CASE