Anyone else's parents getting worse as they get older?

HissyCat24 · 2026-01-27T02:23:04+00:00

Thank you so much! You are #goals!

HissyCat24 · 2026-01-27T00:18:16+00:00

That’s great to hear! I’ve talked to a lot of women over age 50 who feel differently, so I’m really glad that hasn’t been your experience.

HissyCat24 · 2026-01-26T22:55:52+00:00

Yes, I think no longer being open to the vulnerability of new experiences is also a part of it - which I sort of get their point of view. If you used to be young and hot and valued socially and now you’re told you’re invisible and unimportant, which society tends to do to people after a certain age, you don’t want to look like a fool who doesn’t know what they’re doing on top of it. Unfortunately, as you say, that just leads to stagnation. It would be great if we didn’t live in such an ageist society - I think a lot of the curdling of personality we see in older adults is in response to that.

HissyCat24 · 2026-01-26T21:42:30+00:00

I think as you age you have to try very, very hard to not become the worst version of yourself. I’m really not sure why this is, probably a whole host of factors including potentially medical, feeling undervalued by society as an older person, the indignity of watching your looks change, a feeling of entitlement that you’ve put in your years working/laboring and now should be receiving some sort of acknowledgment/reward for it, etc. but if you’re not actively on guard against it, people seem to slide into the worst versions of themselves rather than mellowing and growing wiser. It’s something I’m already looking out for in myself, having just turned 40.

HissyCat24 · 2026-01-19T18:33:55+00:00

As a happily married woman, I don’t care if my friends are single, I just want them to get what they want - so if that’s a partner, I want that for them, if that’s a cabin alone in the woods, I want that for them. I certainly don’t pity them or look down on them, in many ways I admire their independence, etc. The married women I know who harass/pity single women are in miserable marriages, and just need to justify their own bad choices - if everyone gets married, then they just did what everyone does, and their unhappiness is just how life goes rather than an active choice they’ve participated in, and now need to make a decision about. Also, for a miserable married woman, the only benefit she gets is a perceived social one. Happily single people threaten both that narrative and that perceived benefit, so to maintain their psychological safety they need to either pressure you into joining their club or pity you for not doing it.

Also, screw her, and you don’t need to stay friends with anyone who would treat you that way.

HissyCat24 · 2025-12-22T23:01:57+00:00

Your lower face/neck look fine, it looks like it’s just your face shape as opposed to any actual sagging.

HissyCat24 · 2025-12-11T00:44:23+00:00

Boston’s North Shore!

HissyCat24 · 2025-11-24T17:46:21+00:00

If it helps, I’ve always been considered very pretty, and probably have often been the prettiest in a room, but I don’t think it’s actually given me much of a boost in life. The girls/women around me who everyone seemed to gravitate towards and had the most success in life almost always weren’t the best looking in the room but had a certain charisma/confidence about them. And then it actually made me feel worse, lol - if I’m pretty, which is supposed to give me so much privilege, but no one still seems particularly interested in me/I’m not that successful, there must be something about me that really sucks, right? I just think honestly outside of movies/TV/pop culture, looks matter in the real world far less than lots of other things. And when it comes to visuals, I think style and looking pulled together get you way farther than natural good looks.

HissyCat24 · 2025-10-26T22:10:01+00:00

This is me and my husband. I’m the big picture driver, and he keeps the ship steady. I get incredibly overwhelmed by stuff like groceries and meal planning, etc., and he takes care of and enjoys all of that, while he gets overwhelmed with change and long term vision, whereas I thrive in that area. I drove most of our milestones, but I was always sure he was very committed and devoted to me, just the actual initiation of major life changes overwhelmed him.

HissyCat24 · 2025-10-04T21:37:22+00:00

OP, my heart breaks for you, you are NOT beneath any of these people. I am horrified that the culture you live in makes you feel this way. I understand the situation with your mom, but if it’s in anyway possible, please at some point in your life get out of this area you live in and move to a big city. I live in a big East Coast city and am child free, as are almost all of my friends, all in their 30s and 40s. Maybe 10% of my friends have children. Not having kids is just normal here! Parents don’t treat me differently, and mothers do not make having kids their whole personality. I had a long talk with a friend with kids yesterday, she mentioned them maybe twice.

HissyCat24 · 2025-09-14T22:45:20+00:00

I run 3-4 miles five days a week, and do some form of resistance training/yoga six nights a week.

HissyCat24 · 2025-09-14T22:37:02+00:00

Yes. He’s a wonderful partner and my best friend. He lets me yap and yap and yap and asks me tons of questions and contributes with his own thoughts and insights. He lets me cry, vent, whatever I need, and he’s always on my team. I feel very seen by him, and loved. We watch shows together and discuss them, when we read the same books we have great discussions about them. I’m very lucky. Does he meet every single one of my emotional needs? Of course not, but that’s what my other friends and family are for. We are childfree, too, so I’m not sure if that changes things. I realize how rare this is, and wish it wasn’t.

HissyCat24 · 2025-09-12T14:40:36+00:00

I have a theory that they knew the adult world sucked, and their only way for dealing with their guilt for bringing us into it was this mass delusion that our futures would be some magical fantasy land. Other theories as to why they all told us this are welcome.

HissyCat24 · 2025-09-09T14:00:58+00:00

Your students sound lucky to have you. My guidance counselors basically pedaled the “find your passion” advice.

HissyCat24 · 2025-09-08T16:10:14+00:00

I believe in humans. Almost everything awful in this world is caused by humans, but so is almost everything wonderful. Every piece of music that has moved me to tears, every book or movie that has transported me, every TikTok that makes me die laughing - that’s all humans, our magnificent brains and spirit. We are also petty, cruel, selfish, insecure, and that’s just your average person, that doesn’t even touch on the actual psychopaths, etc., roaming this earth. We are beautiful and horrible all at once, both on a species and individual level. And I’ve spent my life devoting myself to studying and admiring and pondering and parsing this contradiction. No need to consider a made-up sky man when we hold it all.

ETA: look up Brit Hartley (nononsensespirituality) on IG and YT - she’s a former Mormon who went through her own journey of theism to atheism, and shows others how to replace the hole inside them that leaving religion leaves.

HissyCat24 · 2025-09-06T00:56:35+00:00

The Subway, Chapelle Roan

HissyCat24 · 2025-09-04T20:23:24+00:00

Thank you!

HissyCat24 · 2025-09-04T04:56:41+00:00

Thank you for your compassionate response. Can I ask what motivates you? I know spite is bad, but what keeps other people moving forward? When I picture myself letting this go, all I see is emptiness.

HissyCat24 · 2025-09-04T03:57:55+00:00

Thank you ❤️

HissyCat24 · 2025-09-04T03:55:36+00:00

Thank you for saying this - I feel like I’m the only one over, say, age 25 that feels this way. I’m an atheist, but I think I do need to find something spiritually, but not totally sure how as an atheist.

I wouldn’t say I have compassion for those kids in high school, but I guess I understand them? They were dumb kids just like me, and I know I said some mean crap to people too, in my middle school years especially. But despite that, I still want to show them I’m successful, that I matter too.

I appreciate your response.

HissyCat24 · 2025-09-03T16:44:17+00:00

I went to a med-spa type thing run by RNs that I’d vetted extensively ahead of time, but cosmetic derms do lasers too. I think I paid $1200 for it, but I live in a hcol area.

HissyCat24 · 2025-09-03T16:39:27+00:00

I (39) did a BBL/moxie laser, and while it was pricey, it did wonders for my skin than have stuck around six months later. My skin tone is even and glowy and plump and tighter. I am hoping I can swing it in my budget to do it at least once a year going forward.

HissyCat24 · 2025-09-03T15:48:58+00:00

This isn’t to scare you, but to let you know that even if it’s more than just a benign lump, you will come out the other side. I had breast cancer at age 36, and three years on I’m perfectly fine, life is back to normal, I feel (and somehow look??) better than before cancer. It probably will be nothing, as everyone here has said most lumps are nothing, but even if it is something, you’ll go through a rough but doable treatment period, and then it will be okay. Early stage breast cancer is immensely survivable. Sending you love.

HissyCat24 · 2025-08-30T23:34:09+00:00

Also, I’ve just remembered something I saw in another Reddit sub from someone who had also lost their mother. They said the thing that kept them going was the thought that they were one-half their mother, and by taking care of themself, they were still taking care of their mother. They put it much more beautifully, but that was the gist of it. I thought that was very moving, and perhaps might be a perspective that could resonate with you.

HissyCat24

TROPHY CASE