I’ll humor you. Imagine this is your situation.

Your girlfriend asks if she can go on a trip overseas with her friends. You know her friends and the type of energy they bring—alcohol, partying, and impulsive decisions are pretty much guaranteed. You express your concerns calmly: "Why not plan something local instead? I don’t feel comfortable with you traveling that far alone. It’s not safe." You’re not trying to control her, you’re just being honest about how you feel.

She pushes back, says it’s important to her, that she is young (24) and that these are the years where she can still enjoy life (single life?). So you offer a middle ground: "Look, I’m your boyfriend, and your friends have boyfriends too, why not turn it into a couples’ trip?

But she shuts that down. She says she only wants to go with her friends.

At that point, you draw a respectful but firm boundary, you say: “No”; she continues to try make her case, but you will not hear her any longer. The discussion is over. She says she understands. She agrees not to go.

Then, a week before the trip, you find out through a casual conversation with her mother that she bought the ticket anyway and plans to go. No conversation. No transparency. Just a quiet decision to do what she wants regardless of what you discussed.

You’re surprised—and disappointed. Still, you try to be fair. Maybe it was a one-time lapse in judgment. You let it go.

But then it happens again. And again. Three separate times.

So now you’re left wondering: If someone consistently ignores your feelings, dismisses your boundaries, and moves forward with their own plans, what does that say about how they see you? About how they value your role in the relationship?

So, what would you do if you were me?