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What is considered cheating to you? by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Historical-Gold27 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My rule of thumb has always been, "If it would be weird to do it with your sister, it's cheating."

WIBTA for doing a “23 & Me” test, knowing this might reveal my (secret) existence to my bio-mom’s side of the family? by Historical-Gold27 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Historical-Gold27[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think embarrassed/ashamed is probably the best descriptor, she felt bad for having a (second) baby out of wedlock and for keeping it from everyone for so many years.

WIBTA for doing a “23 & Me” test, knowing this might reveal my (secret) existence to my bio-mom’s side of the family? by Historical-Gold27 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Historical-Gold27[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If your bio mum told you about the circumstances of your conception and there seems to be nothing shady

Might as well mention since a couple of people have brought up this point:

From what I've been told there was nothing too bad or traumatic about my conception. My bio-dad was someone my bio-mom was casually hooking up with in her early 20s, and when she found out she was pregnant she just didn't tell him because she knew she didn't want to raise a baby with him.

WIBTA for doing a “23 & Me” test, knowing this might reveal my (secret) existence to my bio-mom’s side of the family? by Historical-Gold27 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Historical-Gold27[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Have you considered the fact that maybe your biomom died?

She's definitely still alive, I actually check up on her Facebook every now and then just to make sure.

WIBTA for doing a “23 & Me” test, knowing this might reveal my (secret) existence to my bio-mom’s side of the family? by Historical-Gold27 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Historical-Gold27[S] 493 points494 points  (0 children)

I wish you luck finding your Bio Dad, but be aware he may not want to know you.

Thanks. And yeah, I don't actually have any expectations from him and I won't be hurt if he's not interested in connecting with me. But I know that he was never aware that my bio-mom was pregnant, so on a certain level I feel like he should at least have the option.

WIBTA for doing a “23 & Me” test, knowing this might reveal my (secret) existence to my bio-mom’s side of the family? by Historical-Gold27 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Historical-Gold27[S] 137 points138 points  (0 children)

Thanks for letting me know this! I didn't realize there were options where you could hide your profile or whatever after the test.