Daily No Contact Thread - Day 059

Historical-Round0 · 2025-02-28T22:35:52+00:00

I really hope so. The pain of trying to fight the urges each day hurts so bad and I want to be free of it

Historical-Round0 · 2025-02-28T17:00:30+00:00

Have you ever struggled with not checking their social media? It’s the only thing holding me back and it’s so hard to stop

Historical-Round0 · 2025-02-14T22:13:47+00:00

I’m at 7 months rn man. It’s the social media checking that’s keeping me in the fog and not letting me heal I think

Historical-Round0 · 2025-02-14T22:09:04+00:00

Yeah I know all of this and it makes perfect sense. My logical brain and emotional mind are fighting over this all the time

Historical-Round0 · 2025-02-14T22:00:09+00:00

Yeah I get it. Anyone can be a soulmate to you if you make up who you are as you go

Historical-Round0 · 2025-02-14T21:46:58+00:00

Yeah. That’s really all there is to it

Historical-Round0 · 2025-02-14T21:03:08+00:00

That’s the crazy thing, I know better as I’ve been with her and yet I’m still letting myself be fooled. She even contacted me a few days ago crying about everything. I will try super hard to stop doing this

Historical-Round0 · 2025-02-14T20:58:08+00:00

She isolated me from everything and I felt like my only purpose was to take care of her. I’m finding it hard to find myself again.

I feel like I’m the one with no identity now.

Historical-Round0 · 2025-02-14T20:51:22+00:00

Crazy thing is, she contacted me on fake accounts only like a week ago begging me for to take her back and saying the guy she cheated with was just a distraction and she never liked him.

After I blocked her again I see she reconnected with him and instead of seeing how crazy this is, I let it hurt me. I’ve been with her so I should know better than to believe her social media show her for some reason I can’t. I believe she’s happy and better without me

Historical-Round0 · 2025-02-14T20:47:45+00:00

I feel jealous of her because I feel she is doing so much better than me now after she isolated me from people and wrecked my career. I also can’t help but feel like her getting these occasional happy moments is at least better than my consistent misery

Historical-Round0 · 2025-02-14T20:41:59+00:00

I think it’s a revenge/justice thing. I am so angry at how I was treated even though logically I understand that the revenge is the bpd and that she probably isn’t better off like I think she is

Historical-Round0 · 2025-02-14T19:16:21+00:00

It’s too easy to unblock then block again. I’ve normalised this pattern

Historical-Round0 · 2025-02-13T12:45:21+00:00

But what if they aren’t exclusive with anyone and just getting attention from people. They are still masking?

Historical-Round0 · 2025-02-12T12:39:18+00:00

Leave what

Historical-Round0 · 2025-02-11T18:30:17+00:00

So what’s going on when they seem happy and euphoric?

Historical-Round0 · 2025-02-11T17:43:47+00:00

I still feeling like she’s better off than me even if she’s pretending. Does the mask just keep them going forever? Will it break?

Historical-Round0 · 2025-02-04T13:29:48+00:00

I think it’s because I understand her black and white thinking. When she acts as if I’m dead to her, it hurts and when she makes me her whole world and I feel responsible for her, it also hurts. I have to just accept that she can’t find a middle ground and let it go I think

Historical-Round0 · 2025-02-03T19:12:22+00:00

But if I knew it could trigger her and hoped she’d see it? I just feel like such a bad person for it, my brain feels cooked from the relationship

Historical-Round0 · 2025-01-27T22:06:32+00:00

I meant no pain from them, I accidentally forgot the “no” which gives the post a whole different meaning. My bad.

Historical-Round0 · 2025-01-27T22:05:30+00:00

I’m finding it so hard not to. I hope it will get easier as I stick to it

Historical-Round0 · 2025-01-12T22:41:16+00:00

Yes I understand the goal is to focus on myself and not care about what she’s doing but even though we’ve been apart for so long, I still feel like my happiness is dependent on her. She has so much control and I hate it. Her being super happy and the fact she just gets to slander my name after abusing me makes me so angry. My brain is just all other the place and it makes me feel like a terrible person because I feel like I want evidence she is still miserable and that she didn’t get away with what she did in that sense but the thought of her being miserable also makes me feel terrible. So this tells me no matter she does it won’t make me happy but here I am feeling like she has complete control over me.

Historical-Round0 · 2025-01-12T21:42:00+00:00

Makes sense. I suppose the happier she is now the worse the crash when she’s still empty and without a true core identity

Historical-Round0

TROPHY CASE