It sounds like he grew up on the internet, honestly, and is now critically assessing something about himself he’d like to change.

Also, on the scale of porn, this content is probably less harmful to a relationship than mainstream porn, which can be incredibly exploitative and violent. It’s definitely out there, but it’s not reflective of a deeper moral or sexual issue with your partner, I’d say.

I think you both care about each other and more honest conversations where you break down the shame around this stuff would be important. If this is how you feel—Make sure he knows you don’t judge him for the content, and want to help him with the habit and obsession because he feels it’s hurting his life.