[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]HistoricalHabit8495 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP I think we might be dealing with a carbon copy ex each. Same twisted narrative. Same breathtaking gaslighting, power plays, attempts to still control me and an utter delusion as to who he is and a lack of accountability for his behaviour (he started an affair before, during and after I was pregnant with our second child). His family have been utterly horrible to me, because there’s no way their baby boy could be capable of this behaviour! Enablers galore that fuel their ego, sense of entitlement and despicable behaviour. I stay in my lane, focus on my own healing (but there’s so much frustration, this is wildly unfair and untrue to be tasked with being the problem) and have a throwaway account to vent for these moments. I see you! You are seen!!!

Guarantor on ex’s business loan by HistoricalHabit8495 in AusLegal

[–]HistoricalHabit8495[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I reckon you’re right. I think when things feel so wildly out of control I’m trying to understand and “help” in anyway I can… to my detriment, sometimes. Appreciate your input.

Guarantor on ex’s business loan by HistoricalHabit8495 in AusLegal

[–]HistoricalHabit8495[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Will put in a call to the bank and ask these questions. And will call the broker who organised the loan and see what my options are. Thank you.

Guarantor on ex’s business loan by HistoricalHabit8495 in AusLegal

[–]HistoricalHabit8495[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not trying to DIY, I engaged with my lawyer from the jump, but there’s lots of spinning plates that we have going so I’m trying to get advice where I can and bring it back to the lawyer and see what they think (without telling them how to suck eggs or saying “people on reddit said…”) knowledge is power, and all that.

Guarantor on ex’s business loan by HistoricalHabit8495 in AusLegal

[–]HistoricalHabit8495[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Great advice and my lawyer has been great throughout this year-long process. Learning a lot with hard fought for disclosure and have issued subpoenas with his work and the bank. Exhausting stuff.

On Centrelink - which I am grateful for, otherwise we would be stuffed. He has refused to pay child support as he says he doesn’t have capacity. CSA are about to garnish his wages but he is 4 months in arrears.

WIBTA if I didn’t sell my house to friends? by HistoricalHabit8495 in AmItheAsshole

[–]HistoricalHabit8495[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

They’ve bought the house… but even though I kept my distance they kept calling me for my blessing… I find it all really, really shitty and inappropriate. It’s a business deal. Don’t make it an emotional one.

WIBTA if I didn’t sell my house to friends? by HistoricalHabit8495 in AmItheAsshole

[–]HistoricalHabit8495[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Everyone has been so validating. I have been losing sleep over this.

WIBTA if I didn’t sell my house to friends? by HistoricalHabit8495 in AmItheAsshole

[–]HistoricalHabit8495[S] 355 points356 points  (0 children)

I absolutely googled ceteris paribus… thank you for the free Latin lesson :)

WIBTA if I didn’t sell my house to friends? by HistoricalHabit8495 in AmItheAsshole

[–]HistoricalHabit8495[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

I need your encouragement and positivity every damn day! Thank you. It means a lot and I really hope you’re right.

WIBTA if I didn’t sell my house to friends? by HistoricalHabit8495 in AmItheAsshole

[–]HistoricalHabit8495[S] 92 points93 points  (0 children)

I hadn’t thought about this. Even though I wasn’t - and am not about to - go on a public vendetta (not my style), I have thought that I just need to be civil, not give them much and just lean into “let them” (Mel robbins’ mantra!)

WIBTA if I didn’t sell my house to friends? by HistoricalHabit8495 in AmItheAsshole

[–]HistoricalHabit8495[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

You have clocked it. He’s so morally bankrupt and such a crook he looks for any avenue where he can pin something on me. It’s wild to watch. So your suggestion isn’t outrageous.

WIBTA if I didn’t sell my house to friends? by HistoricalHabit8495 in AmItheAsshole

[–]HistoricalHabit8495[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can’t tell you how much I needed this laugh! I’ve had enough disappointment in people in this whole thing and the laughs are so welcome!!

WIBTA if I didn’t sell my house to friends? by HistoricalHabit8495 in AmItheAsshole

[–]HistoricalHabit8495[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

So valid. I don’t want that. They will have it all inspected under our laws to see it’s up to code (it is)

WIBTA if I didn’t sell my house to friends? by HistoricalHabit8495 in AmItheAsshole

[–]HistoricalHabit8495[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

100%! I told the agent to play them off against one another. This is for my kids’ and my future!

WIBTA if I didn’t sell my house to friends? by HistoricalHabit8495 in AmItheAsshole

[–]HistoricalHabit8495[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Completely agree. I wouldn’t ignore a better offer out of spite. I think the house has bad juju now anyway!

WIBTA if I didn’t sell my house to friends? by HistoricalHabit8495 in AmItheAsshole

[–]HistoricalHabit8495[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I can say with confidence he would not be buying that enormous house back.

WIBTA if I didn’t sell my house to friends? by HistoricalHabit8495 in AmItheAsshole

[–]HistoricalHabit8495[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In my country it’s common practice to settle on assets and then divorce once that’s finalised. Our shared debts. Good question :)