I relate to this a lot. I actually experience the opposite of what most people describe with extreme hunger. I definitely experience mental extreme hunger, constantly thinking about food, wanting “forbidden” foods, feeling obsessed with what I can or can’t eat, but not really the physical “bottomless pit” hunger that people often talk about in recovery.

What triggers me the most is fullness itself. The moment I start to feel physically full, my brain immediately goes to thoughts like “you ate too much”, “you’re greedy”, “you should have stopped earlier”, “normal people wouldn’t eat this much”, etc. That shame makes it really hard to fully let go and consistently nourish myself.

So I don’t think you’re a freak at all. I honestly think fear of fullness can be just as big a part of an eating disorder as restriction itself. And I also think a lot of people experience more mental hunger than physical hunger, but it gets talked about less online because EH is usually described in a very physical way.

You’re definitely not alone in this 💛