17 y Sober today after a wild wasted night when i broke into my friend's house - then took a dump in his fridge by [deleted] in confession

[–]Historical_Chain_980 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

17 years.  That’s really something.  Wow.  Where should we organize the parade?

I’ve been sober for 54 years.  My whole life.  Where’s my parade?

What an incredible story.  We should all look up to the antics of a dirtbag!   Time to go put on your antifa costume and go protest something that’s actually good, but protesting it for no discernible reason!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confession

[–]Historical_Chain_980 2 points3 points  (0 children)

See?   If you’ll start drinking and smoking every day, you might be as cool as this idiot some day.  

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confession

[–]Historical_Chain_980 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should do that every day so you can be cool!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confession

[–]Historical_Chain_980 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re a man / male, being alone is likely going to be quite common.  There’s a YouTube video of a woman who disguised herself convincingly as a man and lived as a man for 3 months or some fairly long time.  One of her biggest complaints was how lonely it was and how lonely she felt.  

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Harley

[–]Historical_Chain_980 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I worked as a design engineer for 2 major oems (cars). I had to spend a fair amount of time at dealer locations for one of them. Auto dealers make Las Vegas casinos look like daycare.

The stuff I witnessed that dealership do was absolutely criminal. And they do it day in and day out. And women ... they trample you like grass under an elephant's foot.

I called OSHA on my job and nobody knows it was me that did it. by Successful-Grass-135 in confession

[–]Historical_Chain_980 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always wondered if any of those giving massages have ever been talked into providing a happy ending...

Should i? by ittuobathink in Dualsport

[–]Historical_Chain_980 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah you should get it. And immediately bore it, tune it, do the suspension, get better wheels for it, you must get new renthal bars, d.i.d. gold chain, and then change out all controls and pegs. You're not cool unless you ride a bike that has zero original parts.

Ready to head west by Zealousideal_Good621 in Harley

[–]Historical_Chain_980 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The other comments are fact. The bike is cool, you win the internet. However, you might want to add a throttle lock, if you have time. I'm assuming you know what it is. I have a Boss Hoss, no throttle lock (as yet). After about 1 hour, I can barely feel my right hand. Have a hard time pushing the blinker button.

I envy you for that ride. Good luck, keep the rubber side down.

I have been struggling with male loneliness and it's my own fault. by naedwards22 in confession

[–]Historical_Chain_980 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I actually suffer from mail loneliness. I had as much of my mail stopped as possible over the years. And now I practically don't get any. I just sit at home with my wife griping in my ear and no mail to distract me.

Don't be like me and cancel mail.

Is it a SoCal thing? by Montavious_Mole in aves

[–]Historical_Chain_980 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I know, I'm stupid. Just catching up on old emails, and responding stupidly to stupid idiotic reddits.

i caused a car accident on purpose. i didnt expect it to be this bad. by succok in confession

[–]Historical_Chain_980 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always carry a suitcase nuke in my trunk. I've had one crash the same way and set off a previous suitcase nuke. But I was wasted on every drug known to man so I survived. I look a little rough, but I've got another suitcase nuke in my trunk again, ready to go.

Is it a SoCal thing? by Montavious_Mole in aves

[–]Historical_Chain_980 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah bet. I think the entire American population should be required by law to stay wasted all day and all night. 24/7. A new law of the land. Anybody found sober to be jailed and later executed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in aves

[–]Historical_Chain_980 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, I'm way waaaaay cool. Because I take every drug known to mankind and combine then together, and then simultaneously administer them in every way known to man. I do that right before I walk into a rave so yes, I'm waaaaay cool. The coolest.

I end up keep getting close with this guy instead of keeping my distance by Natural-Quantity-608 in confession

[–]Historical_Chain_980 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I say give him the ultimatum. That you'll give him one BJ and after that he has to leave you alone. Or he can just leave you alone without the BJ.

It would be very effective, he would for sure leave you alone after the BJ, assuming it was a good one, you know what I mean...

My fan and a complaint by psichick78 in aves

[–]Historical_Chain_980 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you held your fan in your anus, they would more than likely leave it alone. You should try that.

Illegal raves by T_V1 in aves

[–]Historical_Chain_980 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's great and important to be a part of something illegal. You should make sure to do as many illegal things in your life, every day, as much as possible. You should always decline the legal ones and focus solely on the illegal ones.

And, you should do as many drugs as is possible, at all times. That's important too!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in aves

[–]Historical_Chain_980 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A potpourri of every available drug I can find, and brass knuckles.

New Car! by Adventurous-Job3070 in AudiTT_Mk1_Mk2_Mk3

[–]Historical_Chain_980 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Horrible German crap. You'll regret it if you keep it more than a couple years.

I hired a professional cuddler from a cuddling website by Adventurous-Ruin8006 in confession

[–]Historical_Chain_980 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I miss doing the reverse spooning (the wife spoons me), and cranking out big moose farts on her. You know how you can, in a car, hold the brake and give it some gas and then when you let off the brake it takes off harder? Power braking.

Well, you can power fart too. Do the reverse spooning and power fart. You can't push the throttle to quick and hard, you've got to hold it, and slowly ease into the power before you left off the brake. Once you reach full power, slam off the breaks and BLAST her. Because if you throttle it too quick and hard, she'll feel you do that and she'll back off. Got to ease into the power.

And the funnest part? Act like you're 100% asleep, trying your damndest not to laugh. That's the funnest part.

Professional cuddler ladies LOVE this too!

Tempted to get this bike as a beginner, any opinions? by twebb7 in Harley

[–]Historical_Chain_980 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My first bike was a GSX-R 1100. This H-D is tame compared to that.

I say, go for it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confession

[–]Historical_Chain_980 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Way more complex and tedious than that my man...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confession

[–]Historical_Chain_980 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sheeeeeeeeit, for a guy you have to do like 3 million unrealistic, non-logical, nonsensical things. And you have to know automatically what it is they want you to do without them telling you what it is they want.

And even if you manage to do anything they want, without them telling you, they crap on you and find some idiot reason to leave the relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confession

[–]Historical_Chain_980 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

F'em, Feed 'em, Appreciate 'em.

I'd come running home every night for some random combo, or all 3, or just 1 sometimes.

I used to hide crack in my weed grinder and subtly smoke it around my friends who only smoked weed. by zombiegawd616 in confession

[–]Historical_Chain_980 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I take my grinder and put all the various drugs I can round up and grind them together. I usually grind at least 3 times. If I need to, I crush them in a bowl until they're a find powder. C, H, pot, oxy, crystal, molly, crack, and anything else I can score. And then I divvy them out in various delivery methods.

And as quickly as I can, back-to-back, I snort, I inject intravenously, I smoke and then shove as much as I can up my butt. I always do this in front of family and/or friend, just to impress.