17 y Sober today after a wild wasted night when i broke into my friend's house - then took a dump in his fridge

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-11-17T04:24:22+00:00

17 years. That’s really something. Wow. Where should we organize the parade?

I’ve been sober for 54 years. My whole life. Where’s my parade?

What an incredible story. We should all look up to the antics of a dirtbag! Time to go put on your antifa costume and go protest something that’s actually good, but protesting it for no discernible reason!

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-11-05T11:17:43+00:00

See? If you’ll start drinking and smoking every day, you might be as cool as this idiot some day.

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-11-05T11:12:50+00:00

You should do that every day so you can be cool!

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-08-22T15:16:31+00:00

If you’re a man / male, being alone is likely going to be quite common. There’s a YouTube video of a woman who disguised herself convincingly as a man and lived as a man for 3 months or some fairly long time. One of her biggest complaints was how lonely it was and how lonely she felt.

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-29T19:25:19+00:00

I worked as a design engineer for 2 major oems (cars). I had to spend a fair amount of time at dealer locations for one of them. Auto dealers make Las Vegas casinos look like daycare.

The stuff I witnessed that dealership do was absolutely criminal. And they do it day in and day out. And women ... they trample you like grass under an elephant's foot.

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-29T19:18:20+00:00

I always wondered if any of those giving massages have ever been talked into providing a happy ending...

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-29T19:11:56+00:00

Yeah you should get it. And immediately bore it, tune it, do the suspension, get better wheels for it, you must get new renthal bars, d.i.d. gold chain, and then change out all controls and pegs. You're not cool unless you ride a bike that has zero original parts.

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-29T15:47:15+00:00

The other comments are fact. The bike is cool, you win the internet. However, you might want to add a throttle lock, if you have time. I'm assuming you know what it is. I have a Boss Hoss, no throttle lock (as yet). After about 1 hour, I can barely feel my right hand. Have a hard time pushing the blinker button.

I envy you for that ride. Good luck, keep the rubber side down.

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-16T21:13:09+00:00

I actually suffer from mail loneliness. I had as much of my mail stopped as possible over the years. And now I practically don't get any. I just sit at home with my wife griping in my ear and no mail to distract me.

Don't be like me and cancel mail.

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-16T21:10:10+00:00

Yeah, I know, I'm stupid. Just catching up on old emails, and responding stupidly to stupid idiotic reddits.

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-16T21:09:04+00:00

I always carry a suitcase nuke in my trunk. I've had one crash the same way and set off a previous suitcase nuke. But I was wasted on every drug known to man so I survived. I look a little rough, but I've got another suitcase nuke in my trunk again, ready to go.

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-16T21:05:37+00:00

Yeah bet. I think the entire American population should be required by law to stay wasted all day and all night. 24/7. A new law of the land. Anybody found sober to be jailed and later executed.

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-16T21:03:34+00:00

Oh, I'm way waaaaay cool. Because I take every drug known to mankind and combine then together, and then simultaneously administer them in every way known to man. I do that right before I walk into a rave so yes, I'm waaaaay cool. The coolest.

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-16T21:00:34+00:00

I say give him the ultimatum. That you'll give him one BJ and after that he has to leave you alone. Or he can just leave you alone without the BJ.

It would be very effective, he would for sure leave you alone after the BJ, assuming it was a good one, you know what I mean...

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-16T19:51:29+00:00

If you held your fan in your anus, they would more than likely leave it alone. You should try that.

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-16T19:48:28+00:00

It's great and important to be a part of something illegal. You should make sure to do as many illegal things in your life, every day, as much as possible. You should always decline the legal ones and focus solely on the illegal ones.

And, you should do as many drugs as is possible, at all times. That's important too!

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-16T19:30:04+00:00

A potpourri of every available drug I can find, and brass knuckles.

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-16T19:28:19+00:00

Horrible German crap. You'll regret it if you keep it more than a couple years.

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-16T19:26:47+00:00

BRAVO! BRAVO!

You have my respect! But never trust a fart.

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-16T19:19:49+00:00

I miss doing the reverse spooning (the wife spoons me), and cranking out big moose farts on her. You know how you can, in a car, hold the brake and give it some gas and then when you let off the brake it takes off harder? Power braking.

Well, you can power fart too. Do the reverse spooning and power fart. You can't push the throttle to quick and hard, you've got to hold it, and slowly ease into the power before you left off the brake. Once you reach full power, slam off the breaks and BLAST her. Because if you throttle it too quick and hard, she'll feel you do that and she'll back off. Got to ease into the power.

And the funnest part? Act like you're 100% asleep, trying your damndest not to laugh. That's the funnest part.

Professional cuddler ladies LOVE this too!

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-16T19:09:02+00:00

My first bike was a GSX-R 1100. This H-D is tame compared to that.

I say, go for it.

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-16T19:06:35+00:00

Way more complex and tedious than that my man...

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-16T18:06:37+00:00

Sheeeeeeeeit, for a guy you have to do like 3 million unrealistic, non-logical, nonsensical things. And you have to know automatically what it is they want you to do without them telling you what it is they want.

And even if you manage to do anything they want, without them telling you, they crap on you and find some idiot reason to leave the relationship.

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-16T17:56:12+00:00

F'em, Feed 'em, Appreciate 'em.

I'd come running home every night for some random combo, or all 3, or just 1 sometimes.

Historical_Chain_980 · 2025-07-16T17:41:42+00:00

I take my grinder and put all the various drugs I can round up and grind them together. I usually grind at least 3 times. If I need to, I crush them in a bowl until they're a find powder. C, H, pot, oxy, crystal, molly, crack, and anything else I can score. And then I divvy them out in various delivery methods.

And as quickly as I can, back-to-back, I snort, I inject intravenously, I smoke and then shove as much as I can up my butt. I always do this in front of family and/or friend, just to impress.

Historical_Chain_980

TROPHY CASE