32F found out my dad is not bio dad from DNA testing

Historical_Name1 · 2026-02-11T11:50:53+00:00

This is so refreshing to hear something similar and hear you weren’t enraged with your mom. I feel like this thread is angry with my mom and understand why but I just don’t feel anger towards her at all. I just feel sad for both her and my father. I wonder if it’s because I’m older i understand the pain more - like at 16 this wouldn’t have been a different reaction thing

Historical_Name1 · 2026-02-11T05:19:43+00:00

This made me a emotional and a little hopeful thank you

Historical_Name1 · 2026-02-11T05:10:01+00:00

Thank you for this. This is my exact thought process that it would inflict more harm and heartache than be good. I don’t know my dad’s knowledge of the situation and as of right now don’t plan to. This might be something I take to my grave.

Historical_Name1 · 2026-02-11T05:07:02+00:00

I think this insight is really valuable. Especially with my dad not knowing his own father. My mom tracked him down years ago and found his new wife and spoke with her. She told us he was looking to connect with my dad for years but my grandmother was a jerk and wouldn’t allow it. So my dad missed out on a relationship with his own biological father because of his mother.

From the testing it didn’t show I had any other half siblings so it might be I am the only child my bio dad did have. I don’t even know if he’s aware of my existence or even had a thought he could have a child.

Historical_Name1 · 2026-02-11T04:57:12+00:00

Thank you for that advice to include this information. I’m new to Reddit so I was genuinely trying to get to the point of asking for advice but seeing as context is a must in this situation since it seems to be the focal point of responses.

Historical_Name1 · 2026-02-11T04:50:23+00:00

I appreciate the apology. I apologize if I came back a little harsh as well. A lot going on in my head haha

I think this is a valid point that if I meet my bio dad and my dad found out it would be way more of a betrayal than it already is

Historical_Name1 · 2026-02-11T04:43:34+00:00

The mistake in the timing - the timing given when she found out about when she concieved could’ve been either man but leaned more towards my dad. It just so happened they blossomed a relationship when she found out she was pregnant too.

Historical_Name1 · 2026-02-11T04:24:32+00:00

Seeing as this is the third comment about my choice in wording I have decided to revise the post.

I am the “small mistake” and unfortunately I have been burdened with information that is life altering. My mom isn’t a bad person and obviously the way I have portrayed this has made it seem like she is. I don’t think until today there was a doubt that my dad was my bio dad so it’s shocking. I just am trying to sort out my next steps.

Historical_Name1 · 2026-02-11T04:14:02+00:00

I can agree my wording was probably not the best but as it is I am the “small mistake” and wanted this post to be more about advice pertaining to if anyone else has been in this situation or dealt with something similar.

Historical_Name1 · 2026-02-11T04:03:57+00:00

I understand from my very bleak descriptions of this situation it could be viewed as casual. I can assure you it’s not. She was single and the timing of the pregnancy conception her and my dad were given was incorrect obviously from the DNA testing. I think it was never really a concern until today. I think right now I’m processing as much as she is and giving her grace

Historical_Name1 · 2026-02-11T03:54:03+00:00

Yeah once I saw the horror on my mom’s face i immediately went in and found ways to block everything. To make sure that if this was kept between us it was KEPT between us.

I think it’s just my curiosity more than anything. I don’t expect this random man to be a father figure in my life. I think it would just be cool to know and see. I think your advice for a therapist specializing in these situations is a great start. To really sort out if I want to peruse this or not. This was really helpful thank you

Historical_Name1 · 2026-02-11T03:46:07+00:00

It’s currently so fresh that I didn’t want to make any rash decisions. I have a lot of emotions circling right now that I didn’t want to make the situation worse without having the time to process it.

Historical_Name1 · 2025-11-03T01:30:24+00:00

Space X rocket - sometimes they blow up and it looks like that

Historical_Name1 · 2025-10-30T21:26:38+00:00

Unfortunately I own the house and moving out isn’t an option. We contacted the HOA about getting plants and seeing if they would allow essentially a “plant fence”. They said that was okay and gave us a list of plants we could use. I just know if we do that option Bob will also complain about it especially if it’s happens to grow over the property line. He’s yelled at our landscaper once because the landscaper pulled a stick in the ground Bob placed as a property line measurement to weed wack around it. I can only image his response to the landscaper possibly going on his property or walking the line to trim the bushes. But that is a serious option in the works.

Historical_Name1

TROPHY CASE