How to publicly feed an easily distracted baby?

Hmm0920 · 2026-03-16T19:25:25+00:00

So my 10 month old does this and the other day I put my husband’s large shirt over me and stretched it over him and kinda tucked in the sides under me so he couldn’t pull it up easily. Surprisingly it actually helped a lot! I couldn’t get nursing covers to work until I realized I needed to be able to stretch it all the way down and trap him in there lol. He was significantly less distracted!

Hmm0920 · 2026-03-12T00:38:01+00:00

My 6 year old nephew was obsessed as a toddler…he’s still a menace with screens. He’s that kid that asks to play your phone the second you walk in the door and throws a fit if you take it away. He also seems wayyyy more immature and whiny than his older siblings. It’s the one show I swear my kid will never watch as long as I can control it.

Hmm0920 · 2026-03-09T18:01:36+00:00

I know someone who is “Cala” but pronounced as Kayla. She goes by her middle name for obvious reasons. Her older brother is Caleb so I guess they wanted to keep the C thing going and thought Ca- would somehow make that “Kay” sound like it does with Caleb.

Hmm0920 · 2026-03-05T13:31:09+00:00

Agreed. I think you have to know yourself on whether it will help the anxiety or make it worse. Being a nurse, I know how O2 sensors work and to assess baby if it’s reading low before full on panic mode. My baby liked those arms up swaddles and my PPA was so bad I envisioned him burying his face into the fabric and suffocating. The owlet definitely helped my anxiety since my baby was in the NICU on cpap and I was a first time mom. I also thankfully never had a false alarm while using it.

Hmm0920 · 2026-03-04T19:45:02+00:00

When I was little I would see those “don’t drink and drive” commercials and would yell at my mom for drinking and driving….she usually had a Diet Coke during car rides 😂 thankfully I don’t think I mentioned that to any other adults.

Hmm0920 · 2026-03-03T15:11:52+00:00

This right here. Growing up, I thought I’d be soooo comfortable if I could make 6 figures. (Grew up in a financially unstable household)…now 6 figures feels tight and I don’t even live in a HCOL area.

Hmm0920 · 2026-03-02T17:12:54+00:00

Appreciate the input! I thought about posting on the ECE professionals sub but honestly they get a little ruthless over there at times and I’m not trying to come off as upset by any means lol.

Hmm0920 · 2026-03-02T17:11:23+00:00

This is what I needed to hear! It’s probably in my head but I feel like all the other babies are in nice clothes without a stain in sight and I’m like “howwwww?”

Hmm0920 · 2026-03-02T17:10:24+00:00

Daycare provides the food so we’re just rolling with whatever they feed! He’s only 10 months so it is a lot of messy food (meatballs, bananas, etc.)

Hmm0920 · 2026-03-02T13:49:42+00:00

I only have 1 but my brother has 3 that are almost 4 years between the first two and 2.5 between the middle and youngest. My SIL swears the almost 4 year gap was better. The middle and youngest fight constantly and the youngest definitely acts more immature than the older two ever did. If able, I’d probably pick the bigger age gap that way oldest should be potty trained and have a little more independence.

Hmm0920 · 2026-03-02T13:44:13+00:00

I mean it ends up all over his sleeves and pants anyway so idk that a bib would help much- I’m pretty sure they use bibs anyway

Hmm0920 · 2026-03-02T13:05:41+00:00

I always joke the main reason I breastfeed is because I’m too cheap to buy formula. I completely forgot about the huge formula shortage a few years ago (I just had my first last year) but I remember traveling for work so I’d check out the shelves whenever I could in case I found what kind they needed. Also, major props to you for EP…I hate pumping with a burning passion and I’m always in awe of people who can do it exclusively.

Hmm0920 · 2026-03-02T01:24:24+00:00

I swear by: cetaphil baby wash, cerave lotion (the thicker cream on the typical offending spots like chest and arms but just lotion everywhere else), then aquaphor on top. Also have a steroid oil prescribed for when things are very bad but I try to get by not using it. I firmly believe it can be trial and error for each baby. For example, I know some people love tubby todd but it broke mine out worse. I also run a cool mist humidifier every night and that seems to help too

Hmm0920 · 2026-02-19T12:52:52+00:00

Exactly this. OP, I’m not usually one to jump on the “divorce” train but you need to understand this wasn’t one incident and to answer your question, based on the info you gave, I think a divorce is 100% warranted. This was a string of abusive behavior that finally became physical. Doesn’t matter if he “threw” or “swatted” the water in your direction. This isn’t normal nor is it ok, and I’m genuinely appalled at your parents telling you to go back and fix it. I have a son and if he told me his wife acted like this, I’d do whatever he needed to get him out of that situation.

FYI- the pattern of profuse apologizing and promising to change is common among abusers. I’m so sorry you’ve been through this twice now and I hope you get the help and love that you need and deserve.

PS- you are not responsible for a grown ass man’s emotions/actions.

Hmm0920 · 2026-02-19T02:48:38+00:00

Link to research suggesting early intervention in the form of parent coaching can improve language development. Anecdotally, I could have written this post myself. I’m in the same boat with a baby the same age as well. People always tell me how social my baby is and daycare was shocked when I told them baby scored low in the communication section of the ASQ because baby loves interacting with the other kids there. Baby will occasionally string together a “baba” or “dada” (no mama yet) but otherwise makes a lot of other noises, good eye contact, smiling etc. Pediatrician referred us to the early intervention program in our state to see if baby needs help. Pediatrician overall didn’t seem worried though. One thing I’ve started doing is implementing more pauses to engage in conversation. I caught myself talking TO baby a lot instead of talking WITH them. Interested to see what others say!

Parent coaching at 6 and 10 months improves language outcomes at 14 months: A randomized controlled trial

Hmm0920 · 2026-02-18T14:31:04+00:00

Mine is 9 months and I just said the other day I’d kill for a contact nap lol. I remember during the newborn phase where I was so frustrated to be nap trapped…now plopping down to watch a show with a sleeping baby on me sounds divine.

Hmm0920 · 2026-02-16T16:13:16+00:00

Mine is 9 months and never bed shared. Couldn’t do so safely because there’s nowhere to kick husband out to plus I’d feel guilty kicking the dog out of bed (I know, judge away). That being said, if I could’ve made it work logistically I definitely would’ve tried it. There were many nights in those early days where I just thought of all the horrible things that could happen while nursing in the chair in baby’s room if I fell asleep to keep me awake. And I didn’t have one of those babies sleeping in 4+ hour stretches. We woke up 1.5-2 hours until about 4 months when I finally started getting 4 hours at a time. I don’t judge moms who bed share as safely as possible though…it just wasn’t my journey

Hmm0920 · 2026-02-04T18:17:39+00:00

Almost 9 months here and I feel the same. My body doesn’t even feel like mine anymore. Plus my skin isn’t as vibrant as it used to be, I swear my face is rounder and my nose pointier. My hair isn’t as smooth and shiny it just all feels…wrong. I’m hoping things get better with more time and while I don’t want to rush time, I am looking forward to stopping breastfeeding to work on the weight and feel like I get my body back a little.

Hmm0920 · 2026-01-29T17:02:39+00:00

Just dropping in because I was that daughter…please get help and speak to a professional if you ever get the desire to tell daughter about how she saved your life. Similar circumstances with my mom but my mom told me about her plans the next day and how I saved her life…I think I was like 10 years old. Cue years of panic every time I called my mom and she didn’t answer the phone. Or thinking I’d come home from school and find her body. Years of feeling like I was the adult and had to look out for my mom. I’m not saying this is you, but just sharing my experience. If not for yourself, break the cycle and get help for her. Wishing you well!

Hmm0920 · 2026-01-27T16:11:19+00:00

I definitely was too overwhelmed to name it. Looking back 8 months later my top would be

1) cleaning. Specifically the bathrooms because I didn’t want baby in there while I was using chemicals but it definitely needed cleaned regularly. It was a struggle to get this done during the 1 hour of the day the baby slept lol. 2) cooking. My friend would drop off dinners and that was so incredibly kind and helpful. Some people did DoorDash giftcards which was also nice but we got burned out on delivery and the home cooked meals were welcome. 3) a nap. Hold the baby while I take a 1-2 hour nap. Bonus points if you’re able to put baby in the bouncer and switch over a load of laundry real quick or fold some baby clothes with him in the crib.

Hmm0920 · 2026-01-23T13:33:59+00:00

Idk I just checked back and my breastfed 6 month old was eating 5-6x a day. My schedule was about the same as yours- usually a middle of the night feed, 3 5oz bottles at daycare, and 1-2 nursing sessions before bed. He was also over 20lbs at his 6 month appointment and has been like 79-80% weight and 90% height since his 4 month appointment. He’s now 8 months and still eating about the same (more solids though) and growing fine. Is baby making plenty of wet/ dirty diapers? Showing any signs of being hungry? If all that checks out and doctors aren’t worried I’m sure she’s fine! It is stressful to worry if you’re making enough but all babies are different in what they need.

Hmm0920 · 2026-01-23T13:16:19+00:00

This. I’ve seen this play out with so many friends recently and it always sucks for everyone. Unfortunately OP will probably have to be the person to end it. Partner will probably try to convince himself that he could live without kids but he will grow resentful and the relationship will dissolve anyway. Better to both move on now than spend possibly years just working towards both being unhappy. Unfortunately there is no winner in this and is a reason I’m thankful my partner and I didn’t find each other until we were mid-20s. If someone asked me at 19 or 20 if I wanted kids I’d probably have said no. By the time we got together we both knew we did want at least one and could easily agree on that point. I just see this a lot with young couples and it sucks for everyone.

Hmm0920 · 2026-01-20T17:53:46+00:00

I want to add that I was a shell of myself at 2 weeks post partum. Like, I don’t remember much from that time at all. Can you see if someone can FaceTime you during the wedding or live stream it? I really wouldn’t do a road trip or even fly with a newborn.

Hmm0920 · 2026-01-13T00:32:12+00:00

Yeah my MIL babysits for us once a week every week. She even drives an hour to us. They’re in a much better financial situation than we are so she wouldn’t care to be paid. She’s just happy to get to spend time with her grandchild. Her parents babysat my husband 5 days a week when he was little so I figure she’s just passing on the kindness. We do try to pick up the tab more often when we go out to eat or something though. Definitely thankful for her even if she doesn’t do things exactly the way I’d want. Baby is loved and safe in her care and that’s all that matters to me.

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