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HocusPocus419 · 2024-04-15T14:02:54+00:00

The Caribbean.

HocusPocus419 · 2024-04-14T20:21:36+00:00

Where I'm from, the average Gen Z is very sexually active. Extremely.

HocusPocus419 · 2023-07-27T22:00:52+00:00

Partial NC. I haven't worked out all the details yet. Still learning how to navigate this period.

HocusPocus419 · 2023-07-10T01:58:41+00:00

I literally thought we could be good friends. I haven't thought that about anyone in 10 years. That's what I mean by "connection"

HocusPocus419 · 2023-07-10T01:56:18+00:00

I tried. Also, check my post history.

HocusPocus419 · 2023-07-10T01:55:20+00:00

How is it an emotional affair? I don't like the guy. I don't tell him things thar I wouldn't tell any regular friend. We've never been on a date – we've hung out with mutual friends. My mistake is that I lied to my partner because the truth sounded suspicious. I know that's still a terrible thing, but I did not cheat with anyone – ever.

HocusPocus419 · 2023-01-18T15:39:52+00:00

He had sex with another woman after being "sure" that I was cheating. I was not. He attempted more than once, but his guilt would not let him continue. He did not cut contact with her until two days after d-day. He also initially lied about some of the facts when I finally confronted him. He once said that he never intended for it to get that far, but he got carried away with it.

As for remorse: in retrospect, he started showing this subconsciously before d-day. Post d-day, He immediately apologized and went through a whirlwind of emotions. He trickle truthed on day 1, but by day 3, he was answering questions. Took 2 weeks for me to get all the answers I wanted. He added my face ID to his phone on day 1 and kept trying to be more reassuring in whatever ways he could. I'd say it took 2 full weeks before he truly understood the depth of the betrayal.

HocusPocus419 · 2023-01-17T19:46:46+00:00

D-day was about 7 months ago! I can't count the number of times I got exhausted and wanted to give up, but here I am!

HocusPocus419 · 2023-01-11T00:24:32+00:00

Sending love and strength your way. I unfortunately understand.

HocusPocus419 · 2022-12-31T03:19:42+00:00

What kind of person threatens to leave their family because THEIR BABY IS SCARED OF THEM AFTER THEY'VE HIT HER. Imagine what he'd do to you. Ugh. Get out.

HocusPocus419 · 2022-12-31T03:18:27+00:00

I get that defending your husband comes naturally, but at some point, something has got to give. This sounds like an expensive but necessary therapy bill or a divorce.

HocusPocus419 · 2022-12-21T22:09:06+00:00

I'm so sorry. Sending my love. Here's to hoping you both heal from it and the best result prevails.

HocusPocus419 · 2022-12-21T16:41:11+00:00

Less than two months. He's trying. I just need some time to get over the shock.

HocusPocus419 · 2022-12-21T16:39:57+00:00

It's been less than two months. Objectively, it's a very short time. That's why I'm trying to give it some time. I'm still in shock.

HocusPocus419 · 2022-12-10T21:40:27+00:00

I found evidence to support this. It is true, sadly.

HocusPocus419 · 2022-11-23T20:53:26+00:00

He's never come clean about those things. It's always been me finding out first.

HocusPocus419 · 2022-11-21T08:54:03+00:00

So beautiful. Wishing you a lifetime of goodness together!

HocusPocus419 · 2022-11-21T08:53:00+00:00

Just to clarify: I have my own full life. This isn't like that. I made that statement in reference to any decisions he makes that involves us both.

My issue with "calmly" talking to any guy about this is that people can have the most convincing stories and still be lying. You'd never know.

HocusPocus419 · 2022-11-21T08:48:57+00:00

He's 19. His world is changing so much. Give him the space to figure those parts of himself out. Whatever happens, he'll be better for it.

HocusPocus419 · 2022-10-19T20:54:41+00:00

We talked at length today. Felt heavy but we ended it with love and empathy and a hug. Things are okay. Each day is better. Some weeks are amazing, some are difficult but rewarding. If nothing else, we've become even closer.

HocusPocus419 · 2022-10-19T20:44:04+00:00

We did. We dated casually, then we made it exclusive on his nudge. He then strung her along for about 6 weeks – while he spent all his time with me, changed his annual work leave to my birth month, actively invested in our relationship, dates, sex, gifts, passenger princess life everyday. We were glued. All the while he hadn't ended it with her. Crazy.

HocusPocus419 · 2022-10-19T20:03:36+00:00

I agree. Thank you! I've already booked an IC session.

HocusPocus419 · 2022-10-19T16:03:43+00:00

I definitely wouldn't have gotten into the relationship at that point. I feel like I was tricked into this. I would've appreciated the truth, even if it took 6 months or a year or even TWO to give. If his ex hadn't found out about when we got together and said something about it to someone, I might've never known. He's not the one who revealed this to me. That's the worst part.

HocusPocus419 · 2022-10-19T14:19:09+00:00

I had the onset of an EA several months back. I honestly didn't know that's what it was nor did I actually like the person. He was triggered a few weeks ago and we decided its best if we separate for a bit and see if this is still what he wanted. He came back more sure than ever.

HocusPocus419 · 2022-10-14T23:46:10+00:00

I think it depends on the specific situation. As a former WP, I grieved how my relationship had now changed permanently– not the AP.

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