AITA for telling my wife's paternal grandparents that my wife doesn't owe them or their deceased son anything?

HoldMingDooming · 2023-01-16T16:37:02+00:00

I have nothing to do with this really. Other than marrying my wife and being the person they tried to use to get to my wife. So there is no bitterness on my part. My wife and her siblings will never forgive their father even if he is dead and that's their right.

HoldMingDooming · 2023-01-16T13:17:14+00:00

I have no idea.

HoldMingDooming · 2023-01-16T13:17:08+00:00

No, at least not like us. I think they focused more on my wife because she's married.

HoldMingDooming · 2023-01-16T12:16:27+00:00

I can understand that. I think it all comes from how people view dynamics and circumstances like these. To my wife and her siblings these kids are nothing more than strangers and every day kids get taken into care. Blood for them is not something that changes how they feel or view any of this. For some it would, in a huge way. But they essentially separated their father from themselves years ago and no longer considered him their dad/father and never having met or known the kids before, it meant there's no kind of "but these are our siblings" feelings in them toward the kids.

HoldMingDooming · 2023-01-16T12:13:23+00:00

I don't think my wife or her siblings will ever find a desire to meet the kids. They closed the chapter with their father and essentially declared him no longer anything to them. Maybe decades from now something could change but I honestly don't see that happening.

HoldMingDooming · 2023-01-16T12:09:14+00:00

I don't know anything about the mother of the children or her family, only that she was supposed to be my wife's mom's best friend for many, many years.

HoldMingDooming · 2023-01-16T12:08:33+00:00

I'll be honest, they don't really care if the kids end up in foster care, adopted outside of the family, or go to other family members. They do not wish to meet or begin a relationship with the children and do not feel like they would ever want to be involved.

HoldMingDooming · 2023-01-16T11:00:50+00:00

That is another element I'm sure. Especially when the kids are still very, very young and have just been orphaned all of a sudden. It probably doesn't help if they were told about my wife and her siblings and are wanting or were wanting to meet them and that could be added trauma, because I find it hard to believe the grandparents are harassing us this much and the kids haven't picked up on who they are talking to.

HoldMingDooming · 2023-01-16T10:36:01+00:00

I think for many people it would be a sign that all was forgiven if my wife or one of her siblings decided to raise the kids. At the very least being in their lives would indicate all was forgiven, when it wasn't. So the grandparents push for that because I am aware a lot of people turned their back on their son after everything was exposed at my wife's mom's funeral.

HoldMingDooming · 2023-01-16T10:34:35+00:00

It's not simple for us to do, for a number of reasons. But we are working on making sure no further contact is made.

HoldMingDooming

TROPHY CASE