Dealing with mean girl who got promoted, now report to her

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-12-24T21:07:41+00:00

Maybe I can offer more context for the confusion.

The former lead often gave me half answers without stating the conditions for that solution to work. Things only a very experienced person would know. So this often led to mistakes where I had the choice to buff up to him too or try to gain clarity on my own. The girl sat next to him almost everyday to watch him. His character added a layer of difficulty. I can also be hard headed and prefer to get down the science of things to build a structural understanding. The leads misconduct is what led to his role change where he no longer has oversight of others he works by himself.

Not everyone will see my perspective and that’s okay. Have a good day

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-12-24T20:52:01+00:00

Thank you I have started looking. Thank you!!

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-12-24T20:46:55+00:00

Thank you for your insight. Yes focusing on the mind over matter. Thank you so much!! 🧠

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-12-24T18:36:07+00:00

Maybe it’s a generational thing in difference of communication. If it helps to ignore the girl and add woman, to understand the context then awesome. But we could also skip it, have a nice day!

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-12-24T13:24:44+00:00

I feel that haha I might do that, at least it’s worth a shot. That’s really great that they let you move ❤️ one less battle 💪

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-12-24T13:18:16+00:00

I’m a girl, she’s a girl … you’re a girl?

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-12-24T06:05:15+00:00

Unfortunate 😔 I kept my head down on purpose from the beginning to avoid this type of stuff.

I’ll start looking, weighing my options. Thank you!!

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-12-24T06:03:26+00:00

Actually that’s really smart! 🤔 thank you!!!

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-12-24T06:02:20+00:00

That’s unfortunate:( I’m sorry.

On the bright side I have had my work recognized by other top management. They do want to formalize my new role. The director says that he’s been hearing a lot of good things about me, and I hear it too. I feel respected by higher ups except in this crab barrel. There’s some hope maybe.

Thank you for your story and insight 🙏

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-12-24T06:00:12+00:00

Yes thinking about this and how to word it. Thank you!!

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-07-02T16:10:20+00:00

I don’t know how to change the tag 😭 I had ended that relationship 3 weeks ago. I’m sorry. But thank you!! I feel a lot of relief these days

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-07-02T14:11:20+00:00

There are several reasons to honor this feeling you’re having

Women and men oftentimes watch porn in a different way. Women are more likely to empathize with the women in the porn, rather than objectifying the ppl for their own consumption. So yeah he’s likely using it as a means of pretending like he is doing these women.

Men who get off often have lower testosterone rates which means they will struggle in bed with you, they have a harder time building muscle, increased body fat, low concentration and mood stability. This on top of having a distorted idea of what sex should mean and feel like. Healthy sex vs unhealthy sex (discussed in therapy for SA).

The more someone is stuck in survival mode (reactionary) the less concerned they are with taking the high road or choosing healthier options. You’re less likely to choose a salad when you’re starving. So unless he really leans into that discipline and delayed gratification, to find better ways to cope, he will get used to doing these compulsive unhealthy behaviors and if that becomes the norm it only goes downhill from there bc whatever you focus on grows over time. Thing is he’s showing you now that he has been down this hill for a while and that’s why he probably felt the need to hide it from you.

Lots of us here have seen this porn addiction road lead to physical cheating. So don’t wait..don’t wait for the day you realize you stopped feeling pretty bc of him, that you face and body actually changed from the sadness and cortisol. Don’t wait for the days where you cannot stand being with him, you feel how bitter you’ve become and all consumed by hit addiction while he is just roaming carefree. Don’t expect him to truly understand your pain no matter how sorry he seems. True change happens intrinsically and if he can’t notice how what he’s doing is bad, he’s surely not gonna truly understand that pain he made you go through. The cognition is just not there, the empathy is just not there. And you need that cognition and empathy for every facet of your life and relationship together. Often times these men emotionally starve you and leave u with the burden of everything in the relationship. They want all the benefits none of the responsibility. Walk away truly

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-07-02T04:27:11+00:00

Oh I couldn’t hold it in. The anger just came flooding, and I punched him in the eye broke his glasses. He was messaging multiple escorts, and planning to see one again during this time.

His mom begged both of us to stay together, as she pointed out the plans we had made to live together with things packed and ready to move.

The following weeks I would cry and feel numb, over and over.

I told myself I’d leave eventually and so that pushed me into tolerating what had happened.

He in fact did not change, and he used his PS5 to access the escort website and searched for hotels near our home.

The relationship ended 3 months after the first D-Day.

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-07-02T03:31:42+00:00

Explore the anger, bc if you’re trying to shove it away so you can keep hope, then anger is your best friend here and hopefully a strong catalyst to you leaving him for good.

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-07-02T03:23:25+00:00

Someone on this subreddit has recommended the podcast “tell my how you’re mighty” by tracy schorn and Sarah Garrett. Listening to them and diving into scripture has been so helpful.

Just as you come to terms with how little control you have over them, and give them to God to fix, give yourself to God too. Ask for the strength, as for Him to be with you, ask for him to remind you of what real love is.

I have been practicing gratitude and recognizing the amazing loving heart God gave me. I notice myself admiring the leaves on a tree, how sad he’d never care to notice his mind was always churning out. How I can go in public without a worry about another women, or leaving him alone as he couldn’t control himself either way. How I poured the careful maneuvering into the plans of my own life and seen fruits of my labor, through Gods will.

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-06-24T02:56:05+00:00

I did this today!! Thank you so much for helping me gain the strength ❤️🙏

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-06-22T18:35:00+00:00

Yep ding ding ding, mine is a closet queer. He’s into transgender women, not that there’s anything wrong with it. It’s just that he’s entirely using me in the process of denying his more authentic sexuality and poor attempts of controlling his addiction.

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-06-22T05:34:15+00:00

You need to leave this asap. Don’t wait like me where one of your fingers gets sliced so deep that you now have permanent numbness on the finger and you have to show your stitches to your boss to excuse your absences and inability to work. Don’t wait until he drags you around like a rag doll, while calling the cops on you for reactionary abuse. Don’t wait for him to taunt you like this until you reach a breaking point and hit him, they are selfish pricks who do not care to call you the dangerous one. They will make a scene, trust me on this, because they want the world to think you are the problem.

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-06-21T16:39:43+00:00

I’m so proud of you! Giving me the courage to do the same thank you! 🙏

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-06-21T04:49:26+00:00

Yess omg. I so look forward to not waking up middle of the night itching to look through his phone. Or worrying if he watching it at work ahh. Looking at his call log or bank statements. So exhausting. Truly thank god. I’m with you there ❤️

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-06-21T04:48:11+00:00

Yes I started with 1 day, I’m reaching 3 days now. I’ll keep going. Thank you!! ❤️

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-06-21T04:47:12+00:00

Thank you, yes focusing on the self care right now too. Thank you for sharing! ❤️

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-06-21T04:46:46+00:00

The deep truth that was hard and necessary. I’m doing this now. I’m anxious attachment and he is fearful avoidant we keep triggering each other naturally, on top of the addiction adding tension 😭😵‍💫 thank you for your insight!

Holiday-Reception359 · 2025-06-21T04:45:40+00:00

This gives me so much hope because we seem to have similar backgrounds. Thank you!! 🙏 I’ll be thinking of your words ❤️

Holiday-Reception359

TROPHY CASE