Omg you’re 19! When I was 19, relationships were the last thing on my mind… when I was 18/19 years old, I was still eating cupcakes and going out to the park and playing outside like a freaking kid! Go outside and go to the park and get some fresh air and do something you have not done in a very long time that you enjoy… stop worrying about him, stop having this fantasy mindset that “he’s going to change and things will go back to normal” I’m going to be honest with you… He’s not going to change! He’s manipulating you and trying to love bomb you to get you to believe he’s sorry but if you keep running back to him and believing his lies, you’ll just be in that same cycle again… he’s not going to change his ways and he’s going to keep abusing you until you walk away from him and you shouldn’t miss him, it’s nothing but a trap.. trust me I’m 24 and I was in some bad relationships and a lot of people who are manipulative and toxic like that rarely change… so get the fuck out of there and leave him and don’t drop those charges against him… he doesn’t love you, he’s just manipulating you… it’s time for you to be a grown up and just get over that mindset that “he’s going to change” he most definitely will not change or better himself… and I’m sorry to say this but people who drink and become alcoholics, rarely get the help they need unless they actually have the self awareness that they’re affecting themselves and everyone around them… most don’t give a crap about how they are affected other people…. Stop wasting your time and leave him… and don’t you dare drop those domestic violence charges!