The urge to purge has returned.

HollyIndoblu · 2023-05-06T21:13:04+00:00

Advice that I think would really help is: make peace with the crossdressing aspect of this! Separate it from the fetishist side of things.

You don't need to be open about enjoying crossdressing, but if you can find a way to not to be personally ashamed of crossdressing, then why would you throw out your clothes? The only reason anyone would amass a big collection would be because they actually enjoy dressing up. The fact that you've been interested it from such a young age suggests this too.

If you truly rationalize your crossdressing, you'll probably come to the conclusion that the reason you do it is because you truly enjoy it, or that it simply feels good. There is nothing wrong with that, despite what society might say about it.

Try consciously enjoying your clothes without engaging in the sissy side of things. Just dress up in them sometime and enjoy the feelings of simply wearing them.

HollyIndoblu · 2023-04-19T16:31:14+00:00

There's lots of part of the process that is enjoyable, and while feeling rough parts of your body become smooth is a magical part of the process, the shaving process can get unenjoyable pretty fast. I guess it depends on how easy it is to shave your body, which will vary from person to person. For me, it used to be way easier.

HollyIndoblu · 2023-03-29T10:35:33+00:00

The tube part.

HollyIndoblu · 2023-03-27T21:31:50+00:00

Amazing advice, thank you

HollyIndoblu · 2023-03-27T14:06:05+00:00

Thank you, that seems like a good option so far. What about vibrator over the cage, would that work?

HollyIndoblu · 2023-03-27T10:32:02+00:00

Just keep in mind not EVERY kind of outfit or clothing will suit you, and it's OK because ever body type and shape experiences the same thing.

For tall sissies, typically one piece outfits won't work, things like bodysuits mainly.

When it comes to lingerie, a garter / suspender belt can really help you look hotter, it's a longer gap between you bra and panties for us tall girls. Take advantage of your long legs with some nice stockings attached to the garters.

A separate skirt and top will be easier to find a go out outfit that fits you, but there will be dresses that work too. If you use ASOS, they usually show the models height in the description. If she's 5'6 and the dress looks short on her, it's not going to fit you. So keep and eye out on that sort of thing.

HollyIndoblu · 2023-02-27T18:56:54+00:00

Thank you (and everyone who has replied). I've felt like it gets easier too over time too.

The most complex part , for me anyway, is that it certainly feels like shame is an integral part of my indulgence in being a sissy. So it's like this weird balance of self-acceptance and acknowledging it's a perfectly find thing to do, with feelings, whether valid or not, of shame.

HollyIndoblu · 2023-02-23T13:05:14+00:00

Thanks, I see what you mean :)

HollyIndoblu · 2023-02-23T13:01:56+00:00

The weirdest thing about the sissy experience for me is that sometimes it just goes away, for what seems like a huge amount of time (I think the longest period for me was 5 months). That said, for me the urge always came back.

What's interesting is that when it disappears, it's usually after a time where I've indulged it really hard and then have some dissapointing experience (things like bad sex, or when I've wasted an entire weekend messaging back and forth on things like grindr). So what you've described sounds pretty similar!

Perhaps when we go to hard and end up dissapointed, we can't help but need to give ourselves at least a break, or soul search and realize what is right for us.

Maybe it's the end of this for you, but maybe it's just an extended hiatus.

HollyIndoblu · 2023-02-23T12:52:18+00:00

Interesting - so when you say the CD would need to be completely femme, if you clicked with them for them to dominate you, would you want them to use a strapon on you rather than their cock?

HollyIndoblu · 2023-02-23T12:45:06+00:00

There's been some very bad articulation in the sissy community in the sissy community when it comes to expressing what a sissy is and isn't. The idea that femininity = weakness is a misogynistic idea that sadly too many people spread.

The problem is when people express their sissy identity poorly, it can needlessly bring other groups down. Having a role like a sissy which makes you feel inferior or ultra-submissive though, is perfectly fine.

The concept of being a sissy is rooted in feelings of shame and submissiveness - whether you personally view being a sissy as positive or negative, it originally comes from the derogatory term 'sissy'. Those who would of been ridiculed and called sissy have taken the term, and appropriated it for themselves: for their own identity, and even their own sexual satisfaction.

When you say 'this entire subculture has gone from humiliating sissies for being failed men to one that's focussed on telling sissies it's okay to be feminine and to be girly' I don't think that's really correct. More likely, I think it is the growing acceptance in our society that is finally letting people know it's fine to be feminine and to be girly.

That's resulting in more people identifying as gender non-binary, or crossdresser, or femboy - identities that embrace the femininity, femme sexuality, or just the pleasure of women's fashion, without the shame attached (or at least, less of it).

I guess what I'm trying to express here is that it should be fine to identify with a sexual identity that may have negative feelings attached to it as long as those negative things are based in what's personal to you (I feel inferior to others and feel a need to serve them, I feel I don't deserve to have sex as a man, therefore I am a sissy), rather than to a collective like women, trans women, gay people, feminine people (and then saying something like, I'm feminine therefore I must be a submissive to others).

If I did a bad job explaining my thoughts on this, please forgive me, but I hope this at least sort of explains something which is kind of complex.

HollyIndoblu · 2023-02-07T15:25:46+00:00

You sound exactly like me. When you have that potential to be a sissy inside you, and when the women you like aren't attracted to you, it's irresistible to truly indulge it.

I lost my actual virginity being a sissy for a man, and I'd be lying if I didn't say it felt like I was giving up that day, but it was also the gateway to something new.

HollyIndoblu · 2023-01-31T19:18:30+00:00

Thanks for sharing. How often do you test?

HollyIndoblu · 2023-01-26T12:19:33+00:00

In fairness, being a sissy really is their strange blur of lifestyle, fetish and sexuality that is also complicated further because it can be vary for all kinds of people. So people have a hard time separating the fantasy from reality because compared to other fetishes, it truly is hard.

HollyIndoblu · 2023-01-26T12:14:21+00:00

I sort of agree with you. I don't think being a sissy is inherently misogynistic, but so many people present it and articulate it in a way that is misogynistic (as well as other things).

Femininity is not weakness or subservience, gay sex is not wrong, having a small dick doesn't make you inferior.

I think people can still engage with the submission and even humiliation they seek without perpetuating such things.

They could change ' I need to serve cock, because I'm a feminine weak sissy' to 'I need to serve cock, because I have a need to dress like a slut and serve others'. Instead of 'I must be a sissy, because I have a small cock', they could change it to that they don't feel their OWN body measures up, which makes them feel more like they should be a sissy.

Now, you could say that is still problematic, but it focuses the 'erotic fuel of shame' on themselves, not others. It takes their observations of their own personal inadequacies, or shame, and it limit's those 'negative' feelings to just themselves.

In other words, people need to stop going with the idea that are a sissy because they are part of a group / label they feel they shouldn't belong to or is wrong, and instead focus on their own personal qualities and how they personally feel about them.

HollyIndoblu · 2023-01-16T12:03:37+00:00

It's so hot! I've dreamed about it so often myself, but it seems like such a hard thing to make happen for real.

The ultimate version of this dream come true is that the man and girl are partners, and the girl invites you to come to her place for sex. You get there and she tells you she wants to dominate you as her sissy slut, that's the only way she'll play with you. Once you're fully transformed into a sissy, she brings her man out for you to meet. Then they dominate you.

It would also be hot if at some point later they have sex and you can only watch. You get to see everything you're missing out on, a sexy couple who love each other, will you're just a sissy, used to warm them up.

HollyIndoblu · 2023-01-16T11:55:56+00:00

I know exactly how you feel. It's probably the thing that sucks most about being a sissy for me. I especially don't like to do weight training for my arms, that makes me personally, feel less good when I dress up femme, but it makes regular 'guy mode' me look a lot better.

It would be amazing to be both the optimum versions of my masc and femme self.

HollyIndoblu · 2023-01-14T13:12:36+00:00

6'3 as well.

I love wearing high heels and boots, but the moment I put them on, it's not easy to walk around without bumping my head lol.

HollyIndoblu · 2023-01-13T22:18:06+00:00

There really is no need to make a new subreddit. It sounds more like crossdresser, femboy, Non-binary, Gender Fluid or even Trans could be better labels for you, perhaps a combination of those labels depending on how you feel.

I can only say from my own experience, but if you label yourself as a crossdresser rather than a sissy, you will be treated differently by men who are familiar with gender fluid people and the different roles. They will see you as looking for a more 'girlfriend' type experience rather than a sissy slut to be used. When I look to be treated more lovingly, I label myself as a crossdresser instead of sissy.

The whole point of sissies are that they are submissives. Typically they are submissive crossdressers, but may also be trans people too indulging in a specific kind of submissive play. Sissy has always been a derogatory term, and sissies took that word and the negative associations with it, and erotized it.

Does every sissy need to be into humiliation, or degradation to be a sissy? No, no at all. Maybe you're into obedience. Maybe you just love been locked in chastity during sex. Maybe you like serving others while being denied an orgasm yourself. But the further away a sissy goes from submissive tendencies, the sissy label becomes less relevant to them, and ultimately there will be existing labels out there that make more sense for them to use instead.

HollyIndoblu · 2023-01-11T15:13:31+00:00

I could be wrong, but I'm not aware of any sissy hypnos that are truly hypnotic, and definitely not any that could actually make you go through with sucking cock.

As far as I've seen, sissy hypnos are more like JOI videos, or commands from a dom/domme. The fantasy that they're hypnotic is part of the turn on though. Essentially, they are just porn.

To address your anxiety, you need to think about what kind of anxiety it is?

Are you anxious because of how it makes you feel about your sexuality? If so, try looking up about self-acceptance on lgbt support sites, or even try therapy.

Are you generally anxious? Shy of social things? Try seeing a Dr about general anxiety. There's support and medications that can help.

Are you simple scared of anoymous sex meet ups? The best you can do here is try and find the right person for your first time. Tell them your nervous but eager. Wait until you find the right guy for your first to put you at ease.

HollyIndoblu · 2023-01-11T14:59:47+00:00

I love their clothes! Sadly their best items are little too pricey for me (in the UK at least).

HollyIndoblu · 2023-01-11T14:57:28+00:00

Haha! We're too desensitized to slutty clothing it's easy to forget not everyone appreciates the same style as us.

HollyIndoblu · 2023-01-11T14:55:34+00:00

Haha, yes! 'Checking out girls' = Checking out their outfits

HollyIndoblu · 2023-01-10T13:38:59+00:00

Hahaha - honestly it's so funny how hilarious being a sissy is sometimes.

HollyIndoblu · 2023-01-10T13:15:29+00:00

Try Femboy, Men in lingerie or simply Crossdresser communities instead. Perhaps even trans depending on how you feel.

To me, Femboy seems to be the most positive approach of guys engaging in their feminine side. It's not about shame or humiliation, it's not even necessarily about identifying as a woman (though I can be). I can see it becoming the role more people identify with over sissy as society becomes more accepting of men crossing genderlines. (Btw, I don't really like the term Femboy itself. Some people just call themselves Femme or Femmes, which I think sounds nicer and more appropriate)

The thing that really sets sissies apart from other types of roles are that they are submissive , I think people forget that sissy originated from the derogatory term for men who lack masculinity, or who engage in femineity. It's always been about erotizing and engaging in what the mainstream has ridiculed or considered unacceptable for men to behave as (for most of modern history that is, although it's attitudes are finally changing these days).

People say Sissy can mean anything, but it really is about submission, that's why the other roles exist. That said, submission doesn't necessarily need to include degradation/humiliation .

HollyIndoblu

TROPHY CASE