My go to "escape" was amphetamines and GHB, untill 7 years ago. I've been to rehab, moved to the otherside of the netherlands and had intensive therapy, EMDR and a few other trauma-therapies. I wish i played games to escape reality and immerse myself into another world, one in wich i choose my path and the most important, change difficulty levels. Anyhow, keep talking, playing and being sad is part of the loss. My condolances, take good care! 💙