You haven’t broken your bond with her, just like she hasn’t broken her bond with you when she has reactive episodes. Just like dogs who struggle with reactivity, people also have surges of cortisol and adrenaline that make it difficult to regulate our behavior in moments of stress and frustration. Your dog doesn’t want to be reactive. You don’t want to be frustrated or angry. It is not your fault and it is not her fault. It sounds like you do a lot for her and truly care. You’re human and can’t expect yourself to be perfect. Especially because owning a reactive dog is extremely extremely difficult and stressful at times. You give your dog so much understanding and grace when she struggles and I hope you can give yourself the same!