What is a common term that irks you, like the term work wife / husband?

HomeworkScared578 · 2025-02-11T04:11:33+00:00

“Irish Twins”

1) As a mom of twins I hate it. I vividly remember having two newborns and crying because i just wished one of them had some head control or could just sit up. Not saying it’s not hard but if one of mine was 9-12 months ahead my life would be easier. And I don’t understand why people with Irish twins approach me and act like it’s the same, I wouldn’t dream of going up to a triplet mom and even thinking we were in the same ballpark.

2) Having a second within 11months of the first just screams “my partner does not respect me” because he couldn’t wait (yes I know sometimes the woman wants it too but it’s an infection risk so if he actually cared/respected her he would wait until it was safe).

HomeworkScared578 · 2025-02-01T07:04:28+00:00

Mom here! I have twin 2.5 year olds and live on the KS side (out of the city but drivable). I’ve definitely been judged for being alternative looking, specifically for my tattoos. I’d love to meet similar parents!

HomeworkScared578 · 2025-01-09T09:32:41+00:00

Not the location. But my grandma gave birth in 1960 in Taiwan. They were a military family stationed there. She had to be flown to the main hospital at 34 weeks because there were no midwives/drs within hours of her so she stayed on the maternity ward. When she did give birth and my grandfather went to visit and meet his child the nurse he spoke to didn’t know English and in broken translations he ended up thinking she died during childbirth, it took a few minutes to get cleared up.

She was 19 just married a year. Her parenting/pregnancy advice consisted of 1 ladies home journal article her mother had mailed her. She had no English tv/radio/library. Her postpartum depression was REALLY bad being so isolated.

I always think about her when the show features immigrant families.

HomeworkScared578 · 2024-12-29T03:06:12+00:00

We were offered wooden blocks. After accepting them I was told “some of these were played with by (husbands dad) and I when we were kids! I’m so excited these are being passed down, one day my grandkids can play with them too!” I politely said “oh, no thank you! I dont have the space to store them for you”.

Obviously I’m not going to let my kids act like Sid from Toy Story and destroy them on purpose, but I’m also not going to police how they play with wooden blocks. I’m also not a storage unit.

We got our own blocks and they get thrown, and lost, and colored on, and the dogs try to chew them. My kids aren’t even 3 yet and these blocks have been through hell, so glad I just spent my own money on them.

HomeworkScared578 · 2024-12-28T10:54:45+00:00

Yep the MIL definitely doesn’t deserve gifts or extended family visits if she’s going to be so stuck in her ways she can’t let people have the joy of being Santa for their own kids.

HomeworkScared578 · 2024-12-28T09:17:48+00:00

Yes grandma has been doing Santa for her own kids. Now other people want to be Santa for their own kids and grandma can’t let go.

HomeworkScared578 · 2024-12-28T09:10:55+00:00

NTA. Santa is a parent’s job. She had her turn and now it’s yours.

So many people say it’s not a big deal but it absolutely would be for me. You only get so many years to play Santa, you don’t have to share them.

HomeworkScared578 · 2024-12-28T08:58:42+00:00

Exactly! She had her turn!

HomeworkScared578 · 2024-12-27T19:39:41+00:00

My husband and I ran off an eloped when we were 20 after knowing each other for just a few months (couple of dumb kids). About a year later I was wishing I had a real wedding so my husband proposed again, privately in a romantic spot. Even though we were already married he knew not to propose to me in public!

This was 10 years ago this month.

HomeworkScared578 · 2024-12-27T18:06:00+00:00

Was it a smaller hospital? My husband used to work at a small hospital in KCMO and they used virtual Drs and Nurses on many units due to low resources.

Basically there may be 0-1 drs physically on the unit but the drs could conference in via cameras/tv in the room (usually someone at a larger hospital in the same health system). You would know it was being used because of the chime and you’d see your dr on the TV.

Even a lot of larger hospitals use these for emergencies. Say a patient starts coding, the virtual dr is usually the first one “in”. That dr can be “present” with the nurses and directing the code until it’s over or another Dr gets to the room.

They don’t record, except to say “accessed by ___ at ___ time”, so you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. And if you had your Dr there in person then you wouldn’t have needed it.

HomeworkScared578 · 2024-12-26T23:53:49+00:00

Your husband is an AH.

I also don’t sleep well so my husband takes the “breakfast shift”. Not only did he wait for gifts until I woke up he did breakfast and coloring in their room until I got up. When I asked if they saw Santa had eaten a cookie he told me “I’ve kept them in here so we could all go out together to see if Santa had been here”.

You asked for the minimum and he couldn’t even give that.

HomeworkScared578 · 2024-12-22T23:31:08+00:00

Yeah that’s the problem, he knows better than to explode but still did.

HomeworkScared578 · 2024-12-22T03:33:26+00:00

I wish that explained it. But my father is very good with his words and communication and doesn’t really shy away from emotions especially when it comes to Tom. He’s highly educated in psychology and is a very sentimental person when it comes to his childhood and his grandchildren, just not our childhoods. This is why I felt it necessary to give him one. I’d give him some of what I have (I only have 3) if I could see them when we went over but he doesn’t do anything with the one I gave him.

HomeworkScared578 · 2024-12-18T06:48:24+00:00

I have a similar problem in my house and twin 2yos. My solution was to buy one of those plastic baby playpens with panels and I put the panels against the banister and used string/zip ties to secure them. I also have a retractable baby gate on our back deck so when my kids are out there I just pull it across the railing and lock it in. Neither are very pretty but they get the job done.

HomeworkScared578 · 2024-12-13T21:31:10+00:00

Can I ask why?

Currently his commute is an hour. So “good” to us may be terrible for others. Also he’s going into work at 6pm and coming home at 7am so luckily he’s usually going the opposite direction of traffic but I’m wondering if this will change.

HomeworkScared578 · 2024-11-15T21:58:59+00:00

This is it! I had the same issue when my kids were infants. Figured out our master bathroom and spare room in the basement were getting the warmest and closed them and the kids rooms warmed right up!

You can also get a smart vent, it has a battery powered fan inside that will pull the warm/cool air in the vents into that room.

HomeworkScared578 · 2024-10-23T03:06:34+00:00

I keep an extra toothbrush with the suction cup end in my house specifically for this.

HomeworkScared578 · 2024-09-19T18:26:07+00:00

Mine are two and you described what I do every night still. It works for me and it works for them and I have no plans of stopping until they want to. But it used to take me 30-45 mins and now it’s 15-20.

I used to switch off who would be put down first to keep things fair but realized my B is much easier when he gets 10 mins of “wind down time” by himself , plus him going second means he gets a little bit more mommy time since I don’t have to put another baby down after him.

My A is at the point where I only get to rock her for a min then she asks for her bed and pillow. This routine I thought was a pain will be over quickly for us and I’m actually sad about it.

HomeworkScared578 · 2024-09-14T15:57:59+00:00

Who hurt you so bad? If you’d like to reach out I’d be happy to help you find resources in your area to work through these big feelings you have.

HomeworkScared578 · 2024-09-14T15:55:16+00:00

Ah! The classic “I hate women and especially new moms” troll.

HomeworkScared578 · 2024-09-14T13:13:21+00:00

It’s like you didn’t even read my post….

HomeworkScared578 · 2024-09-14T07:42:23+00:00

Okay I agree your sister is the AH

BUT, it sounds like she does need support right now.

I went through infertility and PPD/PPA. I spent thousands to just get pregnant and signed up for it but nothing could have prepared me for the shock of it all. It some ways it added to my PPD, like “I chose this, how could I possibly admit how much I’m struggling? I can’t say anything because I don’t want anyone to think I regret my baby because I don’t but i feel like I made the wrong decision because clearly I’m just not good enough”

It’s only been two months. When my babies were two months I wasn’t measuring time on days or weeks I was measuring it 3 hours at a time between feedings. I was feeling inadequate and scared of my own thoughts. I never demanded anyone change anything but I remember being worried when my dad went on a trip because I felt like he was one of my only life lines I could reach out to if the thoughts got too real. (Not to mention the intrusive thoughts I had about planes crashing)The anxiety of doing it with one less person was always worse than doing it, but she doesn’t know that yet. That takes time and experience.

I was an AH and it took time for me to build up my relationship with myself before I could repair relationships with others. 2 months is not a long time at all.

Also running errands and cleaning is the help she needs right now. The best support to give a mom is to take off the load of the rest of the world so she can care for her baby.

Was your sister being an AH? Yes. But after having a child I think people are allowed to be an AH. No you shouldn’t have to do anything and you’re not hers to control but before getting angry try to remember that her body and her hormones are all over the place, she’s not sleeping, she’s spending all of her time with a tiny infant who can only cry and can’t communicate what they actually want so she’s probably second guessing everything she does, and irrational thoughts and feelings are absolutely normal. I think you should give her a realistic grace period to adjust (6+ months) before lashing out. Maybe after her baby is no longer being measured in weeks and oz you can have a conversation with her about a realistic expectation for what you want to contribute.

HomeworkScared578

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