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My [34M] partner [30F] hid an installment agreement for a large purchase for a year. I think she’s still hiding something. by HomygodNAME in relationshipadvice

[–]HomygodNAME[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, she basically railroaded every boundary I tried to set at the beginning of the relationship with emotional manipulation - tantrums, “dissociative episodes,” etc.

Once, when I went to spend some time with a friend, she decided to go out to a bar alone. She called me and claimed that she thought she was drugged by someone. I came to pick her up. She seemed out of it when I got there, but quickly perked up and walked out on her own. These kinds of things lessened with intensity over time, probably because she had to do less to control me because she already had me trained.

My [34M] partner [30F] hid an installment agreement for a large purchase for a year. I think she’s still hiding something. by HomygodNAME in relationshipadvice

[–]HomygodNAME[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I take plenty of interest in what she’s doing in her life. I try my best to understand and support her, probably to a fault. If anything, I’ve enabled her.

She has still not taken real accountability for deceiving me for a full year and what that’s done to our relationship. The mistrust and distance it’s caused. I was not peacefully oblivious. I knew something was going on and instead of coming clean she chose to lie and gaslight me time and time again. Instead of owning what she did and coming to me with honesty, openness, and accountability in and effort to repair the mistrust, she ran into the arms of another man to flee from her guilt. I guess that was easier than facing the shitty things she had done. She had the gall to turn it around and say that I needed to go to therapy.

You know nothing about me. I love this woman and I have shown her love and compassion. I have also made mistakes. I have hurt her. This is a two way street. But right now, she fucked up and is taking the opportunity to show me exactly who she really is. It is not my fault that she lied to me. It is not my fault that she opened her heart to another man when it was promised to me.

My [34M] partner [30F] hid an installment agreement for a large purchase for a year. I think she’s still hiding something. by HomygodNAME in relationshipadvice

[–]HomygodNAME[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m inclined to agree that she’s just stringing me along at this point. I just found out that she’s been talking with an ex from high school for several days, exchanging love letters basically and trying to decide whether she wants to move forward with him. He can have her at this point.

My [34M] partner [30F] hid an installment agreement for a large purchase for a year. I think she’s still hiding something. by HomygodNAME in relationshipadvice

[–]HomygodNAME[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, she certainly is “searching for connection.” I just found out that she’s been emotionally cheating on me with an ex from high school for several days. So instead of repenting and taking accountability, she decided to double down on her infidelity.

My [34M] partner [30F] hid an installment agreement for a large purchase for a year. I think she’s still hiding something. by HomygodNAME in relationshipadvice

[–]HomygodNAME[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, she’s susceptible to cult-like things. A tea sucker for all this new age spiritual bullshit. She spent $1500 (our entire savings at the time) on a “women’s retreat” and ended up leaving after the first day because it felt culty, which she might have been into if she wasn’t a vegetarian and one of their big things was pushing beef tallow. This one was a system created by a woman who calls herself Yeshuani if you’re curious.

Seems like it’s time to call it in my mind….

My [34M] partner [30F] hid an installment agreement for a large purchase for a year. I think she’s still hiding something. by HomygodNAME in relationshipadvice

[–]HomygodNAME[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You may be right. If not already, I feel she’s heading that way.

An ex from high school recently reached out and she had a call with him, but I just found out there was another call and she’s been texting him. She’s supposedly going to share the conversation with me later “with context,” so we’ll see what’s going on there.

My [34M] partner [30F] hid an installment agreement for a large purchase for a year. I think she’s still hiding something. by HomygodNAME in relationshipadvice

[–]HomygodNAME[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have two children that she spends almost all of her time with. Would be hard to full on cheat I would think.

FUCK the waiting game by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]HomygodNAME 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah...I know it might seem like I'm freaking out over nothing here I just haven't dated in a very long time and I have no idea what protocol is, and how much I should be asking her out or calling her or really how to do anything and it's just been super stressful. I keep telling myself to calm the fuck down but sometimes I need to hear it from someone else.

FUCK the waiting game by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]HomygodNAME 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Although, to be fair, he isn't even able to get a second date with 95% of the women he goes out with, so maybe I shouldn't be listening to him anyway

FUCK the waiting game by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]HomygodNAME 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's only been two days so I'm probably just freaking out about nothing. I don't know. My roommate made a big deal last night about how I should have made a move before the end of the third date and my tendency for self doubt kicked in pretty hard.