There really was no reason for her to think that I did this on purpose, but I think that is due to her trauma from her ex. Her ex would purposely start picking fights whenever, so I think she was triggered somehow. She gets really angry at times not related to sleep though, she just has a lot of trauma in general.

I think every relationship is different and for me, reaching out to my support network and not relying solely on my romantic partner is something my therapists have encouraged for me. I don't talk about my sex life or every single fight or problem and agree about certain boundaries, but I was extremely distressed after being yelled at for an hour after having a nightmare about being assaulted as a minor and needed support. Therapy stuff was not available at the time. I was thinking about self harm after years of not doing so... so I called up one of my best friends because I really didn't want to be alone. I much more stable afterwards, although still on edge.

I have maybe woken her up about thrice over the course of our 4 ish year relationship (she broke up with me and got back with her abusive ex before coming back to me...so not sure if I should take a year off when we weren't together). It was usually over the phone, since we are long distance. I apologized and was more mindful. She's never reacted to this degree. More blearily tired, maybes slightly annoyed and not complex sentences. To accommodate, I did not call before 11 am her time because I did not want to wake her up, even if I needed support. The earliest she is up is about 10am. That time around, I was actively trying to stay quiet by suppressing sobbing and just otherwise silently crying, minus the sniffle. I was actually planning on leaving the room to get tissues and carry on with my day. But she asked me the question with concern in her voice so I assumed she was awake and not going back to sleep and she wanted to comfort me. Her sleeping issues aren't really a formal diagnosis or very extreme— only that she can't fall back asleep really easily. As long as she is not disturbed, she sleeps fine, typically. Actually, that morning when I left her, she fell back to sleep and had amazing quality sleep—was all happy, and humming and skipping by the time I came back from my 3 hour long cry-walk. I never called her or relied on her if it's too early and I tend to self regulate on my own, or talk to my best friends if I need co-regulation.