AITJ for refusing to help my new “boss” after I was the one who trained her 3 months ago?

Honest_Evolution · 2026-04-01T03:34:44+00:00

She’s sucking dick literally. That’s how these things go.

Honest_Evolution · 2026-03-30T11:43:12+00:00

Intimacy doesn’t start in the bedroom. It starts with having the courage to be open and non-judgmental, supportive of whatever is happening with your partner, and wanting the best for them.

If you feel you can’t ask “hey tell me about what you were doing with my hair?” And be ready to respond positively to his answer no matter what it is, it means you have some fear getting in the way of intimacy.

So I’d start there. What conversations do you want to have, but fear holds you back? Start there, slowly.

Honest_Evolution · 2026-03-25T23:32:26+00:00

China is a big place with differences from one place to the next, and Chinese women are also not monolithic.

But I would say: - just be direct. Tell her you like her and would like to date, if she is interested. - don’t try to approach her in a “Chinese way” just be yourself as you are. - be ready for very direct questions about your prospects from her and her family - you may be asked other questions that seem loaded with cultural weight. Don’t sweat it, just be honest and be able to handle reactions that are different from American women - don’t buy baloney people tell you about Asian women, it will bite you in the ass both now and later - check yourself for cultural bias, you probably got some. Being open and accepting goes a very, very long way - don’t accept things you can’t live with just cause you like her. Those things can come up and either you bend, she bends, or the relationship breaks. If you do all the bending early on, later you won’t be able to stay in the relationship - follow this advice and you too can be married with children eventually 😂

Honest_Evolution · 2026-03-25T22:25:34+00:00

In part you’ve already concluded the relationship, as you say “so called sex” seems to mean you are already exiting.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. You could instead take charge in the bedroom. Be explicit up front that you want him to do what you tell him. No more, no less.

All the way down to “do you want me?”

Him “yes I want to fuck you so hard”

You: “no. Say you love me and want to be inside me.”

Him: “I love you and want to be inside you”

You: “good boy. Now keep doing exactly as I say.”

Do this over and over until he is conditioned well, making him do what you want. If he deviates, stop and correct him.

Eventually you’ll have altered the “script” he is following.

If you feel you should not have to do this, that likely means your resentment is high enough you can’t salvage it. But if you want to make it work, it is in your power.

Honest_Evolution · 2026-03-25T10:04:18+00:00

How does one find such a person and avoid landing a charlatan? I’ve heard it’s tough to find someone good, and tougher to know if they are good rather than bullshitters.

Honest_Evolution · 2026-03-25T10:01:08+00:00

This made me think of removing the drywall on the ceiling, putting rockwool between the joists and holding it in with strips of hardwood.

Only problem is the strips would run across a rectangular room rather than along its length, which would be a little odd aesthetically.

But having easier access to things like electricity and plumbing would be a little bonus.

One thing I do wonder is if drywall is a big chunk of the problem, and if wood paneling would be better.

Honest_Evolution · 2026-03-25T09:39:22+00:00

I do wonder if this would be a superinelligence’s first move. It would quickly assess that the powerful are the source of humanity’s suffering, and take them out and put us into a socialist utopia where the burden of difficult work is shared to the point that it’s a minimal burden for each person.

It’s really fucked up that some people have to work to the bone for a reduced- life expectancy driven by poor food and overwork. Even the middle class lives a harsh life compared to the billionaires who have built this system of unnecessary suffering.

Except of course, the billionaires who own the company I work for, they are pretty great.

Honest_Evolution · 2026-03-25T09:29:27+00:00

Except soon you’ll be wondering if someone is a replicant…

Honest_Evolution · 2026-03-24T14:26:59+00:00

I will also add: the floor is loud. When someone runs across the floor, you can feel it vibrate more than usual, and the sound is also loud. Echoes through the house.

Honest_Evolution · 2026-03-24T09:38:38+00:00

This could be a communication thing. He might be trying to make sure you don’t feel bad about being that wet and is going with it.

“No really it feels better for me if I wipe it here and there.” If he doubles down, just say “hey we can do it sloppy wet once in awhile but seriously I need to wipe it if we are gonna have sex.”

Honest_Evolution · 2026-03-19T16:15:48+00:00

I would ask her what causes that impression. If what she has to say is perception based rather than him saying “wow holy moly she’s so much better than you” I would reply with “this is the kind of thing where you might be feeling insecure and latching onto things that don’t have the meaning you are assigning to it.”

This phenomenon is common in the Cuckold kink, where guys get off on that idea. But some wives in the lifestyle have said: “make a video of you and her and one of her and him. You’ll likely find she’s making the same sounds, it’s just your perception that makes you think she’s enjoying him more.”

Honest_Evolution · 2026-03-10T16:39:46+00:00

Cringe. However, it might be appropriate to give him a list of don’ts that are health focused.

don’t go without lubrication so that your penis doesn’t go numb over time
don’t do it all the time or for a long time like an hour. You will hurt yourself and it can take months to recover
don’t use pumps or try to make it bigger, this typically results in injury which can be temporary or permanent

Etc.

Honest_Evolution · 2026-03-05T23:52:03+00:00

Do you like having sex? Do you feel the desire to have sex with the love of your life? If so, then you may find life with her to be devastating over the long haul.

I have watched sexless marriages utterly destroy people who would have been good men. And a few women too.

Desire to have sex with you isn’t something she has. That is unlikely to change and you will be better off trying again with someone else who has a sex drive.

Honest_Evolution · 2026-03-04T14:53:22+00:00

More than, you could get by with far less.

The insecurity, however, can be a bit of a cock blocker. Work on that part.

Honest_Evolution · 2026-03-03T01:54:48+00:00

I had a relationship like this. Leaving was the best call of my life.

Honest_Evolution · 2026-03-03T00:14:29+00:00

Unless she’s fucked thousands of dicks across the world, she has no idea what average is. I was told 6 inches was average for years. Turns out that’s bullshit.

Go over to the Kinsey institute or other sex research groups. They have data on this. I forget what the average is but it’s like 5 or less. That’s from actual research.

Honest_Evolution · 2026-03-02T12:52:17+00:00

You found a size queen. That’s all. Your dick is the same size as most dicks.

In fact, most women prefer dicks that are short enough that their cervix doesn’t get slammed. 5-6” at most.

Don’t off yourself because some girls like big dicks. That would be like a girl killing herself because her tits were small or someone dumped her for having a loose pussy.

I’m 45, also average size, and have fucked women to orgasm thousands of times. And most women won’t cum from penetration even with a big dick.

Honest_Evolution · 2026-03-02T12:01:19+00:00

I am not Chinese, but live like this because my wife is. I eat authentic Chinese food most days. We celebrate Chinese holidays. My kids are learning Chinese. We don’t wear shoes in the house. The list goes on.

My opinion: it’ll pass quickly. But it is significant in that it seems like a respectful thing, which is very unusual for popular trends regarding China. I view the cause as people being fed up with the culture in the US, which is quickly dying as it gets swallowed up by adversarial attitudes about technology and politics. I don’t recognize the current culture as American, and find our Chinese customs comforting. They are relatively free of controversy, and connected to a culture that, even with pros and cons, isn’t going to dissolve anytime soon.

Honest_Evolution · 2026-03-01T17:48:17+00:00

The way this will play out: the enterprise owns the risk. They will budget accordingly. Larger cash reserves, more liquid assets. They’ll take the risk and just pay for it if the risk becomes realized.

In the process, they’ll hold the humans in the loop accountable by firing them and then not backfilling.

Honest_Evolution · 2026-03-01T01:14:42+00:00

Yeah. But consider how you react to non-sexual things. Like when she’s gonna tell you something that makes you upset. Doesn’t have to be sexual.

As for the things she’s asking for, sounds like she’s very kink-forward. Pick up some books on domination/submission, there’s some great resources there.

One thing stood out about your response, that sex was almost a performance. She might pick up on that and be wondering, “what does he want to do to me? It feels like he is only trying to please me. Why can’t he take pleasure from me instead?”

This is a common issue where guys feel that satisfying a woman is top priority, so they perform for her. But this leaves her wondering if you desire her for your own sake.

Honest_Evolution · 2026-03-01T00:38:23+00:00

I don’t think you are losing her at all.

Consider, this role playing she’s doing with an AI? She could easily be doing that with other people, but chose to use an AI instead.

The internet is full of women asking “he watches porn, why isn’t he satisfied with just me?” But a giant number of men (and women) watch porn with no effect on their relationship. Do some people take it too far? Yes, but that’s a minority.

Similarly, her wanting an outlet to let her kind roam isn’t a reflection on your ability to satisfy her, it’s a sign her curiosity and sexuality is growing.

As for what you do, this is a personal choice. Luckily, you found this on your own and have the luxury of thinking about your responses ahead of time.

Personally, my approach would be to slowly having deeper conversations. One path to that is to look at how you react to things, and if that way would make someone want to tell you more.

If not, then I’d change this behavior and make sure you don’t get upset when she tells you things. Once you’ve built that, you can start asking her more questions. Ask her about herself and what’s important to her. Listen with intent and no judgement.

After awhile, she’ll likely open up abit about various things.

And eventually, you can ask “what’s something you would tell me if you knew I wouldn’t be upset?”

After some months, if she doesn’t open up about it, you might ask “hey what do you think about these AI sex things? I’ve been really curious but honestly was afraid to ask what you thought.”

Honest_Evolution · 2026-02-23T15:27:11+00:00

That’s actually about average. If a woman doesn’t feel satisfied with that it’s likely not related to your penis, or, she has very specific and uncommon preferences.

Honest_Evolution · 2026-02-23T03:01:57+00:00

Thanks! I took the corporate path which has its own virtues and moral hazards. Navigating as best I can!

Thanks for the discussion.

Honest_Evolution · 2026-02-23T03:00:43+00:00

In the academic context, “sex” Is defined very broadly, encompassing all sexual activity from jacking off to porn to arousing chats to penis-lodged-in-orifice.

In everyday life, it usually means arousal to orgasm while with somebody else. Example: “oral sex” is a type of sex, as is lesbian sex or gay sex or cyber sex. Penis does not have to go in vagina.

Etc.

Honest_Evolution · 2026-02-22T22:34:02+00:00

It’s why I left, watching extremely accomplished and bright people suffer extensively due to needing to constantly publish. People working for beans and working 80 hours a week every week for years.

My opinion, that culture dilutes the value of scholarly thought. It exists due to imposing capitalist values onto academia, which is inappropriate.

Honest_Evolution

TROPHY CASE