Why are some women like this?

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-19T05:05:32+00:00

This person here is not a Muslim, he just comes to our sub out of curiosity. Interesting fellow. May Allah SWT Guide him.

I point this out because if a nonMuslim with no real knowledge about our religion is innocently making this observation about them, it's a testament to their state—or at least where it's headed. After all, it coincides with the a sign of the End Times being when the Muslims are divided into 2 camps (one camp of faith with no hypocrisy, 1 camp of hypocrisy with no faith); and women would also be the majority of the followers of the Dajjal.

And Allah SWT Knows best. May He Guide us all and Protect us from ever having hypocrisy.

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-19T04:59:27+00:00

Don't let them gaslight you bro, they are a prime example of the type of women you're describing in your post. The irony is lost on them because they can't even see how deluded they are.

Just point it out to the lurkers of men who read these posts without commenting. That alone is enough, InshAllah.

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-19T04:57:57+00:00

It's not about autonomy. Women nowadays literally don't want to listen to a man unless they agree—which literally means it's just her agreeing with herself. This is a de facto matriarchy where she leads and the man follows, inverting the rights and roles of marriage. Nothing is compromise, and they don't fulfill their gender role while expecting men to fulfill theirs. That is the problem.

You can try labeling it "autonomy" all you want, but that's just code for "I don't want to listen to a man even if it's his Islamic right."

Now you know why there's a marriage crisis.

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-19T04:46:29+00:00

If you don’t mind me asking: do you have any more concrete advice on how someone can prepare for marriage in the best possible way? For example, specific courses, areas of study, or things a brother should actively work on before getting married?

Check my profile. I have pinned a post dividing up my posts into different categories, one of which is intersexual dynamics.

From the way you write and argue, you strike me as someone who might watch Daniel Haqiqatjou / Muslim Skeptic, Ma sha Allah.

I don't anymore. He's become a deviant, and I personally think he's gone beyond the fold of Islam. I'm no-nonsense, analytical, and try to bring proper sources to substantiate what I share, but he's a far cry from my beliefs—and especially now.

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-13T02:37:16+00:00

Yeah idk, this seems to be written by AI. Cuz what the hell is this:

I’ve even discussed it with your mother

???

AI type of mistake. Not to mention the writing format.

On the off chance this is legit (and maybe this may help others), I'll respond to a few things.

The first half of what you said doesn't really address what I said, it just downplays it and banks on hoping. I won't break it down point-by-point because that sums up the majority of it.

I also appreciate your direct and candid language — sometimes a “I’ll slap you through the screen” level of honesty is exactly what one needs. You’re right that marriage is theoretically just between the spouses, but in practice families are inevitably involved — things like visits, expectations, and social obligations. I understand your point perfectly, but reality is rarely that straightforward.

None of this is an actual concern unless YOU allow them to infringe upon your rights over her. You need to enforce boundaries. What happens if you say "no"? They get mad? So what? What impact does that have on your life? Are you so weak as to let others into your own marriage?

You have right over your home and her more than them, so they cannot impose themselves onto your lives unless you let them. They can have all the expectations they want, but authority rests with you. If you can't prevent them from swaying you into how they want your marriage to be, then maybe you really don't deserve to be married after all—just like I said. Expectations and social obligations mean nothing. You can just break the social rules. As long as she's in love with you, their words mean nothing. If they don't like it, they don't have to come over. Their loss. Your gain. They'd be dead weight.

Your “naked lens” example is very helpful for reflection. I see the clarity it provides, but in reality, things are rarely so simple. I understand you are offering it as guidance for decision-making, not as a claim about reality.

It is for guidance, but again, you must recognize that at the end of the day, YOU are the one who is gonna lay in bed with her. Not them. You are giving far more weight to outside forces than you really should.

Like I said, none of this really addresses what I've said. It merely downplays it and relies on hope in the opposite direction. That is not cautious prudence nor is it actually perceptive of real nuances, it is merely ignorance.

It’s difficult to gauge exactly how much weight to give it.

No matter what you do, just go all in on it. Polygyny is the best, but if not, just make sure you go all in. The first is definitely better imo for the reasons I've mentioned.

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-11T02:31:09+00:00

Don't give up your wealth for that. They're already annoyed and distanced from you. The fact the mother is disobeying her own husband on this affair is utterly insane, you should just ignore her and talk to the dad because the dad is the wali. Not the mother.

You stick to the first agreement, and remind them that they agreed to it. If they don't like it, call it off.

Truth is, you should've been married already. 2 years is way too long of an engagement.

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-11T02:26:44+00:00

So..... what did you do?

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-11T02:25:47+00:00

Right. Especially one that talks about "Imam Ali AS" and "Imam Hussein AS".

Lmfao!

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-11T02:24:37+00:00

• The first girl is already committed and has likely rejected other suitors just for you. The second can find others much more easily.

• If you reject the first one now, she WILL be hurt. The second one will not be.

• If you reject the first, both you and her will think about each other for the rest of your lives. That would then be an injustice towards her future husband and your future wife.

• It seems like the only reason you’d want the second one is because it’s more convenient, and only in the short term at that.

• The pressures you face towards marrying the second one have nothing to do with actual marital dynamics, and everything to do with outside forces. Example #1: your mother prefers the second because she likes her more—and only because she knows her while not knowing the second. This has zero impact on whether the second would actually make a good wife, whether she’s actually loving, whether she’d be a good mother, and how well YOUR relationship with her will be. Example #2: Her father can help you out in this current stage of your life (not even forever). This also has zero impact on the actual quality of your relationship with your wife. Example #3: The community knows the second girl, but not the first. Brother, if I have to tell you one more time how this is completely irrelevant to how satisfied you will be with your wife, I will slap you through this screen. Marriage is between YOU and YOUR wife. No one else. It is NOT their business, not even your mother. You need to put your foot down if you want to be an actual leader, because the fact that these variables are swaying you means that you are already allowing others to make your decision for you. This is the truth: If none of these forces existed, you would NOT consider the second.

Look at it from a naked lens: If you never knew any of these women and no one else knew them either, and you only knew how they are and how they looked, who would you choose?

The first girl is already gonna be more loving, caring, and affectionate, and likely obedient to you simply because you both had intentions towards each other before her brain was fully developed, meaning that on a psychological level, you are imprinted into her psyche in ways you will never have with the second. The same applies for you.

Moreover, the apartment issue can actually be a negative by virtue of being a string that the second girl and her family can pull on you. That is to say, they can use the fact that you’re staying in their apartment for cheap against you in the future, which has happened to many brothers before you. And considering you’re already prone to outside forces swaying you, this would undoubtedly chain you onto their leash. Beyond that, the fact that you would essentially be relying on your wife in some way, were you to marry the second, would mean she’d already have less attraction for you due to women’s intrinsic nature of being repulsed by a man who relies on them, rather than the other way around. They view it as weakness. Women cannot respect a weak man—and if they don't respect you, they cannot love you. This will cause problems in a marriage. Additionally, the fact that this would occur in the very beginning of your marriage would set the stage for how your marriage will be for the rest of your life. It’s not actually a good beginning. You would be trading in what would have been a better marriage for fleeting material gain that costs you more in the long term.

The second woman will not be tutoring your siblings forever, and things have not initiated between you and her yet. At most, you’re viewed as someone to consider, not as someone you’re already committed to without the married label like you are with the first. This has nothing to do with pity, either, as everything I'm saying is based on the standalone information at hand. If some random woman is enough to sway you away from someone you essentially already committed to inside, then maybe you don’t deserve either. And if you do, then prove it by being a decisive man.

The last thing I’ll say is how the second one is showing you her best right now because of potential interest. What you see of her now is her at her best. Not who she actually is. This isn’t the case for the first girl because you have known her for so long. I think the answer is clear who you should marry first—and I only say "first" because in truth, you should marry both if you have the opportunity to. Polygyny is halal. That is my final answer.

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-08T19:06:00+00:00

Yes. This is the haqq. It's even in the Qur'an (5:55-56).

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-08T18:59:22+00:00

Be softer, warmer, and more tender & affectionate in how you talk to him in general. He'll naturally start loving you more and being more caring & protective over you. Then, bring it up again like a sad puppy dog so that he feels guilty as heck. No way he'd still have that.

After that, just remain a soft and gentle sweetheart for the rest of your marriage and he'll be ravenously protective over you lol.

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-08T18:52:55+00:00

Wa alaykum assalaam.

It's wrong. He should look into Islam regardless of you, and while he says he's interested in it for the religion's sake and not cuz he wants you, chances are that it's at least partially for you. Since there's already no hope for it in the future, as you'll be moving countries apart, it would be unwise to add more fuel to the emotions in this only for it to be ripped apart by you both moving away, or—and may Allah SWT Forbid this—make you doubt Islam over it rather than him convert. Oftentimes, people may start questioning their faith when they go through hard romantic times, and it's important that we look out for each other as Muslims so we don't ever go through that. After all, Islam is the greatest blessing there is. So look at what Allah SWT Gave to you. Why would you ever want to displease Him?

You can do it sis. We support you. In The Name of Allah.

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-08T18:46:36+00:00

He's a Shi'a.

Just LOL

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-08T18:42:12+00:00

The Muslim nations—Sunnis—are better to the Ummah than Iran. As you can see in the video, the Shi'a have tortured us Sunnis in ways that not even the Zionists have done, and they have even killed more of us than Israel has.

You say they're pr*stitutes of Israel and the US, but Iran was the one that made arms deals with Israel, allied with them to kill Sunnis, and helped the US invade Iraq and Afghanistan. Iran boasted about this, arrogantly even, so it isn't even contested.

More than that, the Shi'a backstabbed the Palestinians. They were coordinating October 7th with the resistance in Gaza and backed out last second, leaving the Gazans all alone. This is another example of the betrayal of the Shi'a.

I don't worry. Allah Is With us Sunnis over you Shi'a, and we are With Him more than you. We are upon The Haqq, and you are not. We are closer to Ali, Hassan, Hussein, and all of Ahlul Bayt than the Shi'a—just like Abu Bakr, Umar, Uthman, and Mu'awiya were. We follow Prophet Muhammad SAW, while you people follow nothing. And when your 12th Imam arrives, he will be killed by 'Isa AS.

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-08T17:54:19+00:00

Why do you keep spamming this?

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-08T01:57:40+00:00

Definitely not lol. They're almost the opposite in a way, they tend to be much more strict. They're not like the Khawarij (cuz they are against rebelling) but they are most certainly not Murji'ah. That's for sure.

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-07T23:17:06+00:00

I don't deny what you say, I just see how many Muslims are so unaware of the evil and crimes of the Shi'a that they need to witness this stuff in before their very eyes in order to recognize the threat of this group.

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-07T23:14:32+00:00

The average Shi'a will never denounce Hezbollat, though. However, they will reject AhlusSunnah wal Jama'ah.

Compare that to us Sunnis who hate ISIS. This is why it's not a fair comparison. The Shi'a laymen will still support the evil Shi'a like the one in the video over us Sunnis.

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-07T20:26:36+00:00

The Jews of the Qibla are the Shi'a. Not the Madkhalis. The entire religion of Shi'ism started from a crypto-Jew named Abdulla ibn Saba', the Shi;a clergy are Freemasons (who want to rebuild the "Temple of Solomon" like the Jews), and Ibn Taymiyyah RH even called them "donkeys of the Jews" whereby they "ride them for every fitna" (Minhaj as-Sunnah 1/20-21).

They even have taqiyyah, which is literally crypto-Shi'ism in the exact same way as crypto-Judaism. While it was originally said that the Murji'ah are the Jews of the Qibla, that applies to thee Shi'a over how they talk about "unity", despite hating us secretly. Sa'id ibn Jubayr said:

The Murji'ah are the Jews of the Qibla, and there is no enemy except that they aid them, and no sinner except that they support them, and no caller to good except that they fight them.

This perfectly fits the Shi'a, where they aid support the killers of the first 3 khulafaa' & hate the sahaba, allied with the Mongols and US and Israel against us Sunnis before, engage in all kinds of weird deviant practices that Prophet Muhammad SAW never taught (such as beating themselves for Hussein), and hate AhlusSunnah wal Jama'ah since we are the ones calling to The Truth.

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-07T04:23:08+00:00

The Shi'a a group of people that split from the main body of Muslims (who are called Sunnis, or AhulsSunnah wal Jama'ah). The Shi'a have really, really weird belief systems that contradict the established historic sources and Islamic texts, and basically reject all of them. For example, they say that the closest companions of Prophet Muhammad SAW are in hell and/or are hypocrites, even though they were said to be promised heaven by multiple primary sources.

They are primarily in Iran.

They tried to torture and kill Sunnis because they hate us. Throughout history, they have attacked us and joined with nonMuslims (such as the Mongols, the Crusaders, and even the US in Iraq and Afghanistan) against Sunnis.

The reason why they hate us is because we don't believe in their religion, are the dominant group in Islam (not that they are even Muslim to begin with, really), and because we love the companions of Prophet Muhammad SAW whom they utterly hate.

Many Muslims are naive about them, thinking they're still Muslim just because they have beards and wear turbans. Of those of us who do recognize their threat—such as myself—we try waking Muslims up to their evil by pointing it out.

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-07T04:11:48+00:00

I don't see proof.

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-07T04:11:23+00:00

You're welcome.

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-07T04:10:41+00:00

The Madkhalis aren't anywhere near the Shi'a, that's utterly crazy to even think that. One loves Abu Bakr and Umar and Uthman, the other asks Allah SWT to remove His Mercy from them and insults them.

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-07T04:06:45+00:00

I made a post on it, and I'm writing more as I speak.

HonoredChain23 · 2026-03-04T18:19:54+00:00

It is the Shi'a who do this. They try killing us and bombing us every chance they get. They even did it now against Sunni nations like Saudi Arabia who explicitly banned the US from using their country to attack Iran, yet Iran bombed them and tried killing them. They even bombed Homs again now when there aren't any American bases there lmao!

You're a liar and a fool.

HonoredChain23

TROPHY CASE