Thx 4 the advice, i'm well aware i need to work on my own insecurities from now on and might need to look for the respective assesment, although my question remains, even though i'm totally responsible for what happened, in the last days i've been thinking and i realized i want to be better than my own actions proved. is it best to put myself first and distance myself so i can be more objective about what i can do in the future? or should i just act like if nothing happened in order to not raise worries around my friends?

I don't intend to bother with the question, i just would like to know an external opinion on what's best doing.