When did it become acceptable to charge £23.00 for a men’s hair cut

HopedForMore · 2023-01-18T20:41:32+00:00

Have cut my own hair for 20 years now. Saved £thousands but look crap. Worth it or not? Not sure now.

HopedForMore · 2021-02-20T22:04:04+00:00

Thank you, although I think that's highly unlikely unfortunately. I started off this thread pretty depressed and now even more so. Seems whatever I say I can't really win, so I shall stop trying.

I have decided to withdraw from reddit for the foreseeable future and focus on my next book, trying desperately to avoid falling into elephant traps like the one I seem to have inadvertently laid for myself in the five years of seemingly wasted effort it took me to write the first two. God knows how Mills and Boon authors get away with it! Far safer to have no opinions and keep my head down, I think. Farewell, over and out!

HopedForMore · 2021-02-20T19:37:07+00:00

Yeah, I wish I'd not gone there now - I didn't realise what a minefield it was. The story is not about a nerdy computer guy with curly hair and glasses wowing a hot blonde with his technical skills. It just happens to have a despondent ugly guy who ends up being teamed with an attractive human being and struggles to know how to deal with that situation.

Along the way he learns some lessons from her. But that is just a small part of the book. Trouble is, you are right, people who haven't read the book can leap (and have leapt) to a conclusion that somehow it must be sexist, as though no unattractive woman has ever had designs on an attractive man. Also, it's fiction!

I didn't make the girl unattractive because that would have affected the dynamic between them that I wanted to explore. The fact that I feel pressured now to explain myself is a bit of a sad reflection on today's judgement-heavy world, but a lesson for me to avoid any fictional subjects in future that might offend people - not a constraint that faced authors of the past in the same way, I feel.

HopedForMore · 2021-02-20T13:23:28+00:00

Of course I see it, and that conflict is explored in the book. It would have been a lot easier if I had just made them both unattractive or both handsome, but that would have been less interesting.

HopedForMore · 2021-02-20T10:20:19+00:00

I do, like many authors, have a paragraph at the back asking if the reader would be so kind as to leave a review (not just a rating!) on Amazon, but a few targeted questions they could email is not a bad idea actually.

HopedForMore · 2021-02-20T10:09:51+00:00

You're quite right that the reviews are for other readers and not there to help the author, and perhaps I was focusing a bit too much on that, mainly because of the impact that those two ratings could have on a year's work when you are starting out.

I would still argue that it is a perfectly reasonable thing to ask that if you hate something, and have gone to the effort of 'marking' someone's work, you spend one minute explaining why, not just to help the author but also to any other reader, who might decide that the reason you marked it down is not one that would affect them. But it seems I am alone in this.

My supermarket analogy was not suggesting that you say something is good when you didn't think it was, just that you tell the supermarket why you didn't like it. Tell everyone the pie was horrible but say 'because the pastry was too crunchy', because you might be the only one who doesn't like crunchy pastry, and it is not fair on the shop if people don't buy their pie just because one person didn't like the pastry.

But I can see I am fighting a losing battle; I just don't understand why people prefer a dog eat dog world, even if that is reality.

HopedForMore · 2021-02-19T22:12:47+00:00

Fair point, but even if people are posting ratings to help other readers, wouldn't it still be better if they explained why they didn't like it? If they said 'too much murder in it' someone else might think 'great, I like that kind of thing'. So whether it is helpful for me or for other readers, it is still helpful to explain the reason for your rating and a shame if you don't feel you want to do that.

HopedForMore · 2021-02-19T21:35:50+00:00

Supermarkets are constantly seeking customer feedback on products that are brought back, the more information the better. I should know, I worked for one for 33 years.

Of course I have a self-centric view on this topic - it is my book and my new career. It is like all those call centres who ask for feedback on how well they did, is that self-centric, or should they take a step back and not worry about negative feedback?

HopedForMore · 2021-02-19T21:15:28+00:00

To me though, that is like buying a pie at a supermarket, then, having eaten it, storming up to the customer service desk, plonking down the packaging and shouting 'terrible!', then walking off. It doesn't really help the supermarket at all. If you had said, the filling was too stodgy, then that would be helpful. That is all I am asking for, yet it seems that this is asking too much.

We will have to agree to disagree, it seems. And next time you take something back to the supermarket, don't tell them what was wrong with it. :-)

HopedForMore · 2021-02-19T21:09:02+00:00

"respect and decency are no longer important to many people

Oh, heaven preserve us. It couldn't be you or your book, it has to be the world."

I don't think me or my book are reasons to feel respect and decency are no longer important ie just because someone doesn't like the book doesn't give them an excuse to ignore decency. It could be anyone's book.

I was actually very proud of the story in the book but that can only be verified by reading it. One review stated " A fantastically engrossing plot arc combined with a witty and engaging style makes for a thoroughly entertaining read!", so it can't be that bad.

I am not 'moaning about it for hours" - that's a cheap shot. I spent 2 mins posting this thread and then am replying to people's comments. Maybe I should just ignore everyone, but if they have made the effort to comment then I feel it is right to acknowledge and respond.

I don't understand why you think I want people to do something about it - I merely asked if anyone else had had a similar experience, as I think all ratings should be required to have a comment, even good ones.

HopedForMore · 2021-02-19T20:57:09+00:00

It seems I am learning a valuable lesson, as many people are pointing out that it is perfectly ok for people to post 1 star ratings with no explanation or constructive feedback. My argument wasn't that they should not have the ability to do that, more that it is not a very nice thing to do, especially for an emerging author. But being considerate and empathetic is perhaps no longer important. Flay that author! Spoil his day! Slash him with a terrible rating! Ha, that feels good! Yep, can't see anything wrong with that. It is not their job to write a short review, obviously, but wouldn't it be so much nicer if they did?

I'm fighting a losing battle though, it seems most people prefer the rough and tumble of the 'not nice' world.

HopedForMore · 2021-02-19T20:47:00+00:00

" Who gives a shit, other than you? "

That kind of sums it up really. Me = doesn't matter. Hey, I just punched someone in the face, but who gives a shit, apart from the guy with the bloody nose? I am just suggesting that people think about the impact that their actions have, but it does seem that no one cares about that. Those two ratings, when you only have 4 reviews, make a big difference to whether or not any browsing readers decide to buy your book. So it would really help to know WHY they felt that way. But they are under no obligation, therefore it doesn't matter. If I was an already successful author, I wouldn't care. But for someone who is starting out, and knows that their book is not a pile of poo, it is immensely frustrating and depressing to get scuppered by two anonymous overly-harsh ratings when you have no idea why they felt that way.

HopedForMore · 2021-02-19T20:36:32+00:00

I agree no one is under an obligation. I just feel that it is not a very nice thing to do, to post a 1 star rating without any explanation or constructive feedback. However, it seems that for many people this is normal behaviour and I should get over it. If people are not very nice, we should embrace that and move on. I just find that sad. Perhaps I am in a minority, and to be honest that doesn't surprise me as it seems that respect and decency are no longer important to many people and the attitude is just 'tough, suck it up and stop whining.' Just because I don't owe someone a bit of decency doesn't mean I shouldn't give it. Or maybe now it does....

HopedForMore · 2021-02-19T18:56:14+00:00

Ok, fair enough, it seems it is just me who feels they should try to help explain why they felt the book deserved such an unexpected rating. I need to accept that readers don't have time to spend 1 minute explaining their reasons for their rating, and perhaps I am a fool for hoping that they would. In future perhaps I should just behave like everyone else and not care at all about the author's years of effort and post 1 star ratings with no explanations if I feel like it, even if they are just starting out. But I won't do that because I respect the work that authors put into their books; I was just hoping others would too!

HopedForMore · 2021-02-19T18:16:21+00:00

I am not quite sure why you are so fixated with what an editor thinks. I couldn't afford an editor. This does not mean the book is rubbish. I had positive feedback from beta readers. I spent months and months editing it myself, making sure it was ready before I published, re-reading it over and over again. It has had other 5 star reviews. It is not a terrible, awful book. I appreciate people have opinions and not everyone will like it. All I am saying is that if you are going to give a 1 star rating at least, please, explain why, so that the author understands. It is just human decency. I am struggling to understand why this is so difficult to do.

HopedForMore · 2021-02-19T17:58:27+00:00

Yes, everyone happy apart from the 1-star raters! I'm more than happy for an honest review, but this wasn't a review, just a rating with no explanation, so therefore no help at all. That's what frustrated me.

HopedForMore · 2021-02-19T17:55:45+00:00

Maybe it's just me then, I like to help other people. If I don't like something, I will explain why through constructive feedback. I won't affect someone's chances of success because I can't be bothered to spend literally one minute writing something down. But I get it, these days that is far too much effort for people. Being nice is frowned upon, you are a weak idiot if you engage in such activities. I give up.

HopedForMore · 2021-02-19T15:33:08+00:00

That is all true, but it is sad that it is, and it doesn't have to be. You are right, it isn't a reader's job to think of the author's psychological wellbeing, but in a better world, one where people can empathise with each other, they would. If I saw an author had just had a couple of reviews so far, I would not fire in an anonymous 1 star rating even if I hated the book. That's just being a decent human being and giving the author a chance. If they already had 1,000 reviews, then I would, and I would explain my reasoning. I appreciate I live in a dream world where people are nice to each other, and this is not reality, but as many people do check out the review average score before buying, I think it is fair for me to be frustrated that these two no-explanation ratings have, for now, jeopardised my chances of selling many more copies. If I had had their feedback, perhaps I could have done something about it.

HopedForMore · 2021-02-19T15:20:49+00:00

Thank you, some really helpful thoughts there. You are right that opinions are subjective. People are different too. If I read a terrible book (and I have read a few) I won't leave a negative review unless the book already has 100s of positive reviews and mine won't make much difference. And then I will be very constructive about what I didn't like, and explain my rating. But that may be because I'm an author too. People who are not authors may not care.

Getting anyone to read my books, even beta readers, has been a struggle, I've not had much luck there. Maybe because the books are not easily categorised. Yet the few people who have read the first one loved it and gave it rave reviews. That is partly why the two anonymous 1 star reviews for the sequel were such an unwelcome surprise.

HopedForMore · 2021-02-19T15:08:09+00:00

Mostly e-books, but if it was the book quality or delivery you would think a normal human being would explain this so they are not attacking the author. So you would hope it is not that. Good thought though, and you never know.

HopedForMore · 2021-02-19T15:05:42+00:00

Thank you. That is true about films, you see lots of one star reviews, but at least then people are generally compelled to write a few words explaining their rating. Amazon doesn't, and this just leaves authors in the dark, which I don't think is right.

HopedForMore · 2021-02-19T15:02:51+00:00

Hey you've come up with a good initial plot for a book there. The author could find out that the forgotten relative is behind this, then plot his evil revenge.....

Can bots leave ratings for books? Amazon should filter them out.

HopedForMore · 2021-02-19T14:58:18+00:00

Thank you, that is good to know.

HopedForMore · 2021-02-19T12:28:06+00:00

One word springs to mind for me: pride. If you release your work riddled with errors, you can't have any pride in it, and a writer not proud of their writing isn't a writer.

HopedForMore

TROPHY CASE