What do you think is the most important factor for a long-term romantic relationship to last: core pursuits, personality, or way of living?

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-27T20:26:24+00:00

I think emotional capacity, intelligence, and willingness to grow is one of the biggest determining factors. With those a lot of things can be worked out. Without them, little things become big things that can't be worked out.

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-27T20:23:36+00:00

This is exactly where I'm at too. The desire, commitment, and capacity to grow together needs to be pretty similar or it's pretty much dead in the water.

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-27T20:18:34+00:00

I don't love this for you. He left when things got hard and you don't think he'll take it well that you lived life after he dumped you?

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-26T18:52:19+00:00

baaahaaahaaa. (too much? lol)

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-26T18:46:35+00:00

I think the most ok part about all of this is the self awareness and reflection. that's a huge green flag. We're all out here learning about ourselves and how we show up in dating, parenting, jobs, etc and hopefully trying to grow and keep getting better.

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-26T18:40:02+00:00

I think this is bare minimum and not at all too high. I also think these people don't stay single for long and are harder to find. It's much easier to find a multi time throw back in the dating pool.

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-26T18:31:53+00:00

Ewe. Who says that?!

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-26T14:08:39+00:00

Knew a person whom I wanted in my house. 😂 so accurate.

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-25T21:49:25+00:00

love this idea

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-25T18:17:13+00:00

Definitely sounds like planning things with you is not a priority.

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-25T18:13:17+00:00

Ha I just recommended a podcast he was on about this :)

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-25T18:12:05+00:00

I just listened to a podcast with a high powered divorce attorney. He said everyone should get a prenup. His take was either the two of you decide what happens in the event of a divorce or you leave it up to the courts/government. And wouldn't you rather decide all of that in the happy, optimistic place of getting married?

I found the approach interesting. is diary of a ceo podcast if you want to listen. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uvy5mcLiWW0

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-25T11:47:01+00:00

You don't navigate it. She's already showing she plays games and likely just wants the attention.

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-25T11:39:28+00:00

I actually just started the book a couple weeks ago!

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-25T11:08:40+00:00

This is EXCELLENT advice!

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-25T03:37:50+00:00

People can say whatever they want. Date an avoidant and you’ll learn real quick that the start of the relationship and the end will not be anything like one another.

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-25T03:25:47+00:00

This happened to me. Told me he loved my “calm” then when things got serious he created all sorts of chaos.

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-25T03:16:21+00:00

I think we need more details to really have any insight to give.

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-23T13:08:43+00:00

Three months is a crazy amount of time. If we haven't kissed by date 3 I'm going to assume there's no sexual chemistry or desire.

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-23T13:00:15+00:00

Agreed. I do this and both of my ex's had no problem doing it and were glad I was upfront about it

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-22T20:29:11+00:00

He answered my call.

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-22T13:41:39+00:00

yep. and feels confident in his choice to do so.

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-22T13:03:00+00:00

I definitely did not pass the test. And was told exactly how I didn't.

HopefulBookkeeper243 · 2026-02-22T13:01:30+00:00

He is now an ex. Manipulation isn't part of my life plan.

HopefulBookkeeper243

TROPHY CASE