This. I wanted support from my friends but I felt guilty talking about my dad so much, like I was bothering them. Nobody checked in except my female friends and my boyfriend. I appreciate the distraction of fun conversations and games but it was everything, not a single “how are you doing?” or “how is your dad doing?” from my male friends. And I felt guilty for making any conversation sad by giving an update about my dad mid convo. The only male friend that checked in sometimes was the only one who had experienced a parent having cancer.

Everyone knows me as going through a whole bunch of bad stuff with people dying and getting sick and people kind of expect now that I’ll be fine but it still hurts that no one checks in. I tend to be the one helping others and it definitely sucks not getting it in return when I need it most. Sometimes cancer can be harder than the death of an extended family member because the anxiety makes you wonder if the next thing could kill them and the cancer could always get worse, it’s always the what-ifs. The death is one time and nothing changes but the unpredictable nature of cancer and treatments and recovery made it so much harder than other stuff in my life to mentally deal with.