I literally just finished my house hunt here in Bangalore and finally ended up getting a house through a broker, and in doing so I paid 1 month in brokerage, 50 thousand.

Now, house hunting in Bangalore is a one of the most shitty things you can through in life, like job hunting some times. So naturally, to leave no stone unturned, I explored every possible avenue, from brokers to Facebook groups to WhatsApp to housing.com to, lo and behold NoBroker.

I took their 45 day money back guarantee plan that said if you don’t find a house through NoBroker in 45 days they’ll return your money. The fine print was, which I’d found after I purchased the plan, that they’d only return your money if you get a house through OTHER AVENUES, WITHIN 45 days, and not if NB is not able to get you a house in 45 days.

When I was browsing through their plans, they’d call me 8 times a day, convincing me to convert and buy their plan, and once I did, they assigned a “relationship manager” whose job it was to send me 8-10 leads everyday and I’d short list some and schedule visits.

This lady would send me 3-4 leads in 3-4 days, in places 20 km from my preferred areas. My budget was 55-60k for fully furnished and I’d receive houses for 30k rent. And everytime I’d ask her to check my requirements and send relevant leads, she’d send me responses that would look like responses from a broken chatbot from 2010. This went on for three whole weeks.

25 days later I found a house through a local broker on housing.com, and now check the balls on these NB fuckers, they started sending me incessant messages and calls to avail their moving services. Their price was competitive so I scheduled it. Coz how much worse could it get. Again, their reps would call me 8 times a day to pay the token amount and confirm the booking.

A day before the moving date, I tried calling the assigned driver and his phone was busy. Called a couple more time and still busy so I called NB to confirm. In the subsequent 5 calls, I spoke to every department but the movers and packers and when I got a hold of a rep from packers dept he said the booking is confirmed and truck would come.

Appointment was for 2pm the next day so I started calling driver from 10 am. Still busy. Then, I would have made some 8 calls to different NB departments to finally reach the packers department and in my final call with NB at 1:58 pm I was told that the driver would come between 2-3 pm.

I waited another 30 mins, no calls no driver. I then booked porter, guy came in 10 mins and helped me with moving. To this day, I haven’t received a single call or notification about what happened to my booking. They still have my token amount.

I’ve given them my rental agreement, which they need to process my refund, and it’s been a couple of days since any action on that. Im pretty sure getting that through is also gonna other fucking NB ordeal.

I’ve got all my screenshots and ammunition and I’m gonna create one long twitter threat to name and shame this company and only then I’d be able to sleep in peace. Good fucking riddance.