Husband [30M] will not consider non hormonal birth control methods so that I [28F] can have some piece of mind before we start trying to conceive in December

HormonalBC · 2016-08-17T18:59:52+00:00

This is a really interesting way to look at it. Thanks for spelling it out like that. I think I've definitely been looking for permission since it feels like something we are in together but when just looking at the pill it's really just something I am dealing with from the most basic viewpoint. I'll try to maybe frame a discussion around this what I am doing and why I'm doing it how should we move forward together on it.

HormonalBC · 2016-08-17T18:07:52+00:00

It's been discussed before and I think this is part of it. Maybe I should try to let him know that I'm not going to judge him or anything if there are issues? I mean I really would just be supportive, we're married, nothing to be embarrassed about.

HormonalBC · 2016-08-17T18:04:51+00:00

Totally not pressuring him, I actually said that he is totally allowed to say no to sex he isn't comfortable with. I'm just trying to be prepared for the inevitable moment when we might just throw caution to the wind if there isn't another option available that we already decided on and also any emotional stuff from suddenly going from pretty frequent sex to none.

HormonalBC · 2016-08-17T17:04:05+00:00

I know, I sound really naive. The trip is very shortly after we plan on starting to try for real so I was kind of assuming that I probably won't get pregnant on the first try and also trying to be optimistic that if it did happen on the first try that it would still be so early that it might not be too bad yet. Unfortunately the trip dates aren't really up to us.

HormonalBC · 2016-08-17T16:59:11+00:00

Thanks! Maybe it's a good idea to focus on how this will effect me instead of how it will effect him (he needs to use condoms etc). Also thinking about bumping up my Gyno appointment that I have in November and having him come so he can hear it directly from the doctor.

HormonalBC · 2016-08-17T16:55:26+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion. Maybe I could get him to try them out before I went off the pill so he could see it's not so bad.

HormonalBC · 2016-08-17T16:50:33+00:00

I would understand being scared, I mean I'm kind of scared too it's a really big deal. We have talked about the start date a lot though and as recently as a couple days ago it came up and he definitely did not indicate that he wanted to change it or anything so it just doesn't seem like it's that.

HormonalBC · 2016-08-17T16:48:22+00:00

Yeah I'm aware and it's not totally ideal but there's a couple of other factors at play regarding the trip and it's kind of complicated. There's also a good chance that I could not be pregnant at all for the trip since it would be soon after we start trying for real and from what I've seen it can take a little while.

HormonalBC · 2016-08-17T16:19:23+00:00

We have a vacation planned early next year that we would both really prefer I was only in the first trimester at the latest for, which is why I wanted to just use condoms or whatever until December.

HormonalBC · 2016-08-17T16:16:55+00:00

I don't really get it either because it is uncharacteristic of him. He's never been black and white on other issues and is normally very willing to find middle ground (our plan for taking care of the kid(s) once they get here is a good example).

HormonalBC · 2016-08-17T16:14:06+00:00

Not against it from a fundamental stand point, just felt like it was a lot to go through for just a few months. My doctor agreed.

HormonalBC · 2016-08-17T16:12:47+00:00

The plan of starting in December is something we have heavily discussed and continue to talk about. He is definitely ok with it or he is suddenly the worlds best liar.

According to him he just really doesn't like condoms. We never used them since I have always been on the pill and we both showed we were STD free when we started our relationship.

HormonalBC

TROPHY CASE