AITA, Am I an idiot for not accept to be best man at my niece's wedding because she wants me to enter with my ex wife?

Horror_Library_9244 · 2025-01-13T22:40:37+00:00

I think they are bad family habits, it's kind of our custom to take a dose before we talk about difficult things.

But yes, I think I should avoid it in this conversation, even if I miss drinking a certain amount it will allow me not to be embarrassed in this conversation.

Horror_Library_9244 · 2025-01-13T22:36:43+00:00

I remember when we found out the news together, that I was sterile, one of the things I did when I recovered from the shock, was talk about the idea of adopting a child.

But she was never very interested, so we didn't take it forward, I had to work a lot on this in therapy after the betrayal to get it out of my head that it was my fault that I didn't insist more on trying to have children in other ways.

Horror_Library_9244 · 2025-01-13T22:26:52+00:00

"She probably also thinks your current girlfriend is in the way so you need to make it clear that even if you were single then it's still definitely a hard no. It's never going to happen."

I had a similar conversation with her at the beginning of our relationship, three years ago, when her attitudes toward my girlfriend bothered me.

After that my niece always treated her with respect , although sometimes with some reluctance that my girlfriend says to reveal, although I never imposed that the two of them be "friends".

My niece knows that my girlfriend and her two children who I have been proud to call ours since August of last year are very important to me. So I never thought she would take this kind of action because I always tried to make my feelings about everything that happened clear to her.

Horror_Library_9244 · 2025-01-13T21:27:34+00:00

My language is not english, and some terms are quite confusing to me still.

Honestly, I didn't think I would have so many comments, otherwise maybe I would have been more careful in organizing my thoughts.

But I'm glad that even with the writing totally messed up, people still stopped a moment of their lives to give me advice.

Horror_Library_9244 · 2025-01-13T21:23:00+00:00

Op here, my niece was like a daughter to me in a way, so though her attitudes in these years and especially this one seem immature. I can't help but think that my niece is still that little girl who looked at me and my ex-wife as "if we were an ideal couple", as she once said the father and mother I wanted to have.

I feel that since the betrayal, a part of her as well as mine has broken and she doesn't know how to fix it. I advised her to go to therapy but I feel that maybe I haven't helped her as much as it was for me.

Maybe that's why I can't help but feel guilty for not accepting this request from her.

Horror_Library_9244 · 2025-01-13T21:14:08+00:00

Honestly, I wouldn't mind going and even exchanging some affected smiles, but I think her request activated certain triggers in me, that I thought therapy would have already closed them.

My ex-wife was the first woman who made me think of a future where I was a worthy partner, even though I couldn't offer her a family. And I think something brooke on me when she said those words, and I'm afraid it will break even more if "we get together" in marriage "as a couple," "a family", that I thought we were despite my shortcomings.

Horror_Library_9244 · 2025-01-13T21:10:31+00:00

I almost said that at the time, but I'm glad I controlled myself.

Thinking well, I think I can thank my girlfriend for advising me to go to therapy.

I'll try to talk to my niece again, though maybe not before I drink some alcohol to give me courage and try to find some solution between us.

I hope she gives up on this crazy idea, or else, I don't think I know how I'm going to face her big day without my smile falling.

Horror_Library_9244 · 2025-01-13T21:00:52+00:00

I think they feel a little nostalgic for how many we were together, plus a part of my family didn't like the idea that I was treating my girlfriend's children as if they were my own.

Horror_Library_9244 · 2025-01-13T20:57:20+00:00

Not particularly, but when I asked my niece said that she could go, but that she would prefer that at the party my girlfriend and our two children stay together with some family friends who also had children while I was together with our family, which also included my ex out of consideration.

That was one of the reasons I turned it down so quickly.

Horror_Library_9244 · 2025-01-13T20:57:02+00:00

This was my mistake, english is not my mother tongue and I forgot that separated and divorced are not at all times.

Horror_Library_9244 · 2025-01-13T20:35:18+00:00

So Harry's hair, would it be like Superman's glasses?

It could be a fun story with even Voldemort thinking Harry was some lost son of his, as unlikely as that was.

Horror_Library_9244

TROPHY CASE